Jokes | चुटकुले

1 Snta ne apni bhabi ko jan se mar diya.
Logo ne pucha k tum ne apni bhabi ko Q mara?

snta bola:

O yar mai jis-se b puchta k tum phone pe kis-se bat kr rha h to wo khta.
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Teri bhabhi se.

Santa- Maa kehti he bhains ka dodh pine
se dimag tez hota he
Banta- Ma bewakuf banati he
Agar aisa hota to bhains ka baccha SCIENTIST nahi ban jata

Teacher: tum ro Q rahe ho?

Ladka:meri mummy mere papa ko kutta kehti h.
or papa unko BILLI,

mujhe samjh nhi aata ki main PILLA hu


ya BILLA??

Chintu: Didi Ro Kyo Rahi Hai?
Maa: Wah Sasural Ja Rahi Hai.
Chintu: Mujhe Laga Use School Bhej Rahe Hai

teacher- is muhawre ko samjhao
'kiya karaye par pani firna'


student-very simple
jese hi mene toilet ka flush chalaya, mere kiye karaye par pani fir gaya

Banta santa se-teri dukan pe mitthai rakhi h tera dil isko khane ko nhi krta,santa- yaar krta to bhut h par papa marenge isliye chaat kar rakh deta hu

Santa: Dr. Sahab plastic surgery me kitna kharcha ayega? Dr : 50 hajar Santa: agar plstic hum de to. Dr.(gusse me) saale pighla kr chipka bi Lena..

GIRL-dear,sunday 1st show k BALCONY k'CORNER'wale 2 ticket book kr k Rkhna..

BOY-Lekin'CORNER'wale ticket nai mile toH??

GIRL-TO MOVIE dekhenge...

1 darzi logon k kapde lekr farar hogya

Koi kehta meri pant,

Koi kehta meri Shirt,

1 Santa bhi Ro raha tha Logo ne puchha Q Ro Rahe ho?

Santa:mera naap le gaya.

Teacher 2 GOLU -Tum Me Kuch Kamiya Hai.GOLU Next Day Coat Pant Pehan K Aata Hai.Teacher:What's This.?GOLU -Raymond, The Complete Man..

father- 1 zamana tha k mai Rs 10 me kirana, saag, dudh, or nashta leke aata tha.

Beta-Ab possible nahi hai Dad Qki ab wahan CCTV camera hota hai

Pujari ne apni GF k kandhe pe 1st time hath rakha aur bahut dhire se nervously bola: 'I love u.!'

GF- 'Zor se Bolo''

Pujari- 'JAI MATA DI'

Police: Park me aise Q baithe ho?

Srdar: Hm dono sadi-suda hain!

Police: To Ghar me baitho

Srdar:nhi baith sakte na Q K
iska Pati or meri Biwi nhi Manegi.

Pathan: Bhai sahab 1 kala bulb dena.

Storekeeper: Aap kaley bulb ka kia karainge?

Pathan: Dopaher me soney k liye andhera karna ha

Shivji-Bhakt main tumhari tapasaya se khush hua,bol tujhe kya chahiye.?
Bhakt-D.J System dedo Prabhu.
Shivji-Abe SALE D.J hota to main Damroo kyon bajata.:-D

Raza:
13 days ago
Santa apna sar pani me duba rha tha
Biwi-kya kAr rhe h?
Santa-Dimag chalta nhi h Sala

dekh rha hu kahi Puncher to nhi.
:-)
Smile wit me..!!

teacher- 1 saal me kitni raten hoti hai.
santa-10!!!!
teacher- wo kaise??
santa- 1 shivratri, aur 9 din navratri!!!!

Maalik: arey, tune 500 saal puraani ghadi thod dee hai.
naukar: bach gaya saab, main to samjha yeh nayaa hai

JUDGE to Santa, Tumhara jurm sabit ho chuka he, kal tumhe Fansi pe chdhaya jayega.
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Santa: Wo to thik he,lekin utara kab jayega . . .

Beggar: Beta ek rupaya de, khana khaunga. BOY: Ek kya take Rs. 5 but tell me, itna sasta khana mil kahan raha hai? Saath chalenge.

Ramu apne 16 bachho or biwi
k sath dost k ghar lunch pe
gaya.
Dost ne itni badi family dekh
kar gusse mein kaha: Lajja
nahi aayee. Ramu: Nahi uska exam hai …!

Ek Sharabi let kar gane ga rha tha

5-6 gane ga kar wo ulta let kar gane lga

Dusra shrabi yar ulta let kr kyo gane lga

Srabi: Pehle A side thi ab B side hai.

SANTA ka school me 7th class me new admision huwa.
Teacher-Batao Sachin Tendulkar kon hai ?
SANTA-Humko kya pata mai To school me naya h

santa- soch raha huin ki usa ghum aauin, kitane paise lagenge.
banta- kuch bhi nahi
santa- wo kaise?
banta- sochane ke paise nahi lagate.

GF-Mai Kisi Or Se shadi kar rahi hu
Muje Bhul Jao
BF-Na Tere Aane ki khushi
Na tere jane ka Gum
Ja Behan Ja Aj Se Tera Kissa Bhi Khatam.

Girl: Iss blue pen ki kia price hai? Dukandar: Rs.700 Girl: uff! Aur goldon ki? Dukandar: 2 baar uff uff. .

Santa- kal meri shadi hai aur ladki walo ne kam log bulaye hai.

Banta- to isme prob kya hai?

Santa-pata nhi papa mujhe le jaynge ya nahi

Jewllery shop me 1 Aadmi Ki Zabardast Pitayi Ho Gai Pucho Kyon???
Usne Sales Girl se Kaha Aapki EK EK Item Mast Hai.
Aaj SONE Ka Kya Bhav Hai???

Snta & Bnta moving on road at 12midnight

Snta:Bahut garmi he yaar

Bnta:HA yaar
Din hota to kahi chhao me baith jate.

1 ladki COKE pi rahi thi,
achanak usme se 1 Machar nikla or bola 'MAA'

Ladki-Me teri maa nhi hu.
Machar- Aisa na bol maa me teri COKE se nikla hu.

Apni Naraz GF ko manane k bad Ladka Pyar se bola:
Jaan,kaho to Tumhare liye chand tare tod lau

Ladki halki c Muskurai OR boli
Phir Haramipan Shuru.

Height of dhoka- Student to his friend: Yaar dhoka ho gaya. Friend:Kya hua? Student: Yaar book ke liye paise mangwaye they, gharwalo ne book hi bhej di.