Jokes | चुटकुले

Boy: mom, aaj mera dost ghar aa raha hai….ghar ke sab khilone chhupa de. Mom: tera dost chor hai kya? Boy: nahin, woh apne khilone pahechan lega.

Husband aur wife hotel me gaye tabhi 1 lady ne Hello kiya, Wife koun thi wo? Hus Tum dimag kharab mat karo, main pehle hi pareshan hu ki woh bhi Yehi puchegi..

Wife: 'Sardarji aaj kuch aisa karo ki mere paseene nikal jaaye.'Sardar gets up and switches off the fan..!

Boy chalo!! kisi viran jagah chalte hain..! girl tum aisi vaisi harkat to nahi karoge..?! boy bilkul nahi! girl to fir rehne do....!!

if sumone calls u crazy,dont mind,if sumone calls u duffer,relax,if sumone calls u stupid be cool,but if sumone calls u 'cute' lagana thappar os pagal ke monh pe,mazak ki b koi hud hoti hai.

Tum chandar mukhi main sooraj mukhi..Main tum say dukhi tum mujh say dukhi..Tum chut per jao aur chalang lagao...Phir main bhe sukhi aur tum bhe sukhi..!

Ek shrabi roz SHIV mandir pe sir tekta tha.Ek din Pujari ne SHIV murti ki jagah GANESH murti rakhi.Shrabi aya,dekha bola Chotu,papa se bolna main aya tha..

Patni: Suno ji, Aapko Mujme Sabse Jayada kaya Acha Lagta hai, Meri Beauty ya Meri Akalmandi? Pati: Muje to yeh teri Majak karne ki Aadat Sabse achhi lagti hai

BOY: Wud u mind dancing with me? GIRL: Sorry, main bache ke saath nahi nachti. BOY: Oh sorry mujhe pata nahi tha ki aap PREGNANT hai ok u enjoy.

Ek Bihari ko Raaste me
cycle ka paidal mila
aur use uthakar Ghar le aya.
Ghar laa kar Biwi ko bola
ye sambhal ke rakhde,
isme cycle dalwa lenge.

jabi 2 a englis Dr Tell him abt her ILL baby asMy baby is ill 1week dana eatda na slipda bas wipda hi wipdaA pn

Ek aadami bhains ke upar beth kar aa raha hota hai.
Police wala - helmet kaha hai.
Aadami - sahib tanik upar nahi niche dekho ee 2 wheelar nahi 4 wheelar hai.

SAWAAL: Patni maike jaakar pati ko roj phone kyun karti hai?? JAWAAB: Taki pati ko yaad rahein musibat tali nahi phir aane waali hai.

Judge: U r crossing the limits. Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai? Judge: How dare you call me saala? Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun ''Sa Law'' kehta hai?

Pati patni se:- kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul gobar jaisa swad hai Patni(matha peet te hue)Hey bhagwan!Na jane inhone kya-kya khaKe dekhahAI

Ladki ke baap ne vidai ke wazt dulhe se kaha beta hamari ijjat ab tumare hath me hai, Dulha bola: Chinta mat karo aaj hi loot lunga

Mallika at Airport. Bhikhari: 'behanji 1 rupiya dedo.' Malika gave him 1000 Rs. Secretary: 'why U gave him 1000 Rs..?' Malika: 'pehli bar kisine behan kaha.'

ek bandar paid par chada.usko dekh kar ek aadmi bhi chad gaya bandar bola tu upar kyu aaya hai.aadmi aam khane. bandar par ye tho amrud ka paid ha

How do u CUT roads????? By LAUGHING..... Because 'Haste Haste Cut jaye Raste'

What do you call a female who never laughs? 'HASINA'

What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE? Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai...... Doosari bigadati hai to 'SHUROO'' ho jati hai

Wife: Jab tum DESI pite ho mujhe PARO kehete ho, jab Whisky pite ho toh DARLING kehete ho. Aaj kya piya hai jo CHUDEL keh rahe ho. Husband: Aaj main hosh main hu.

Patni=Suno ji, doctor ne mujhe ek mahine ke aaram ke liye kisi Hill station par jane ko kaha hai,hum kaha jayenge? Pati=Dusre Dr. ke Paas..

Aik admi apni biwi ko dafna kay ghar ja raha tha kay achanak bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se baarish shuru hui dukhi aadmi bola: Lagta hai pahunch gai

Young girl goes 2 Dr wth mom. Girl-Medicl check up karana hai. Dr-sare kapde utar ke parde ke piche let jao. Girl-mera nai,mummy ka. Dr-Mataji aap jibh dikhaiye

MunnaBhai: Yaar yeh kutte poonch kyon hilate hain? Bole to dog tail shaking WHY? Circuit: Common sense Bhai! Ab poonch kutte ko to nahin hila sakti hai na.

Mareej ne achanak Aankhe kholte hue kaha, Doctor sahib,kya mera Operation kamyab raha? sabar se kaam lo beta,Main Doctor nhi, YAMRAJ hun......

Aaj raat theek 12 baje ke baad---------------------1 baje ga.

Mareej ne achanak Aankhe kholte hue kaha,' Doctor sahib,kya mera Operation kamyab raha? 'sabar se kaam lo beta,Main Doctor nhi, YAMRAJ hun''......

Wife: Kya kar rahe ho?Man: Makkhiya maar rha hu.Wife: Kitni mari?Man: 3 male aur 2 female.Wife: Kaise malum?Man: Kyonki 3 daru ki botal se chipki thi or 2 phone se.

Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai? Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!

AFTAB to SHAHRUKH:Tumhe pata hai aab tak ki meri sab se achi perfomance 'ANKAHEE' hai.
SHAH RUKH:TO fir aab kiyu Bata rahe ho!!!