Jokes for Topic: General

Mother To Son:'Get up

you useless fellow,

Sun has already risen

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Son:'Hey relax mom, Sun sleeps earlier than me..

A junior in an office dialed his boss's number by mistake & said :
Hey, send a coffee in my cabin in two minutes !......
Boss shouted : do you know whom you're talking to?!!!!!!
... Junior: no!
Boss: i'm the boss of this office.
Junior(in the same tone): & do u know whom you're talking to?
Boss: no!
Junior: thank God.(and disconnected the phone)..

Modern...
Obedient..
Neat...
Kind...
Excellent..
Young.
Thats ME.
Dont feel sad... your name is also there...
read the 1st letter of every word.

Kiss Is The Key Of Love,
Love Is The Lock Of Marriage,
Marriage Is The Box Of Children,
And too many Children means more Problem for the world
So Please Stop Kissing & Save the world for a while…

Santa giving exam while standing at the door.

A man asked “Why are you standing at the door?”

Santa: “Idiot, I am giving entrance test.”

Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bada afsos hua, Vaise hua kya tha? Santa: Goli lagi thi mathe main.
Banta: Bhagwaan ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi.

A: Why are you late?
B: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
A: That’s nice. Were you helping him look for it?
B: No, I was standing on i

A man meets an accident with his new Ferrari.
.
Policemen arrives.
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Man:- (cried) Officer! My brand new car!
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Police replied:- You’re suchmaterialistic.
You even haven’t notice that your left
arm has been cut off.
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Man-: He looks at his left arm and yells
OMG! My Rolex watch!.

I Saw It With My Eyes But Couldn’t Understand It
Took It In My Hands, But Couldn’t Understand It
Keep Thinking For A Long Time, But Again Couldn’t Understand It
It was Not A Dream,
It was Is Not A Love,
It was Not Even Friendship,
Then I Realized: “It Was Question Paper”

A three-year old walks over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in a doctor’s surgery.

'Why is your stomach so big?' – he asks.
'I´m having a baby.' – she replies.
'Is the baby in your stomach?' – he asks, with his big eyes.
'Yes, it is' – she says.
'Is it a good baby?' – he asks, with a puzzled look.
'Oh, yes. A really good baby.' – the lady replies.

Shocked and surprised, he asks: 'Then why did you eat him?'

Neymar: Mai football ko apni ungliyo par do ghante tak ghuma sakta hun.
RAJNIKANT: Tumhe kya lagta hai, ye prithvi kiski ungliyo par ghum rhi hai...:D

Aaj ka suvichar :
Holi par jo sukhi holi khelne ki aur pani bachane ki slah dete the unse anurodh hai,
Apne Cooler me pani nahi dale.. Sukhe cooler chalaye.
Pani bachaye! Jal hi jeewan hai!

Height of technology:
A stunt writes all Ans as
and lastly he writes..
Ans. aer written in BAR CODE Format 2Protect from Being Copied.

Ladki ke baap ne vidai ke wazt dulhe se kaha beta hamari ijjat ab tumare hath me hai, Dulha bola: Chinta mat karo aaj hi loot lunga

Mallika at Airport. Bhikhari: 'behanji 1 rupiya dedo.' Malika gave him 1000 Rs. Secretary: 'why U gave him 1000 Rs..?' Malika: 'pehli bar kisine behan kaha.'

ek bandar paid par chada.usko dekh kar ek aadmi bhi chad gaya bandar bola tu upar kyu aaya hai.aadmi aam khane. bandar par ye tho amrud ka paid ha

Wife: Jab tum DESI pite ho mujhe PARO kehete ho, jab Whisky pite ho toh DARLING kehete ho. Aaj kya piya hai jo CHUDEL keh rahe ho. Husband: Aaj main hosh main hu.

Patni=Suno ji, doctor ne mujhe ek mahine ke aaram ke liye kisi Hill station par jane ko kaha hai,hum kaha jayenge? Pati=Dusre Dr. ke Paas..

Aik admi apni biwi ko dafna kay ghar ja raha tha kay achanak bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se baarish shuru hui dukhi aadmi bola: Lagta hai pahunch gai

Young girl goes 2 Dr wth mom. Girl-Medicl check up karana hai. Dr-sare kapde utar ke parde ke piche let jao. Girl-mera nai,mummy ka. Dr-Mataji aap jibh dikhaiye

Mareej ne achanak Aankhe kholte hue kaha, Doctor sahib,kya mera Operation kamyab raha? sabar se kaam lo beta,Main Doctor nhi, YAMRAJ hun......

Aaj raat theek 12 baje ke baad---------------------1 baje ga.

Mareej ne achanak Aankhe kholte hue kaha,' Doctor sahib,kya mera Operation kamyab raha? 'sabar se kaam lo beta,Main Doctor nhi, YAMRAJ hun''......

Wife: Kya kar rahe ho?Man: Makkhiya maar rha hu.Wife: Kitni mari?Man: 3 male aur 2 female.Wife: Kaise malum?Man: Kyonki 3 daru ki botal se chipki thi or 2 phone se.

Robert: Boss, mere teen bacche hue. Unko kya naam doon?
AJIT: Ek ka naam rakhna Peter, doosre ka Maikal,
aur teesre ka Cha Ling Chu.
Robert: Par Cha Ling Chu kyoon?
AJIT: Bewakoof, duniya ka har teesra bacchaa Chinese hota hai

Ek yug tha jab log apne ghar ke dwar pe likhte the: ATITHI DEVO BHAVA
Phir likha: SHUBH LABH
Phir likhne lage: U R WELCOME
Aur ab likhte hain: KUTTON SE SAVDHA

Love: Police wala:
Tumne PAPPITA bechne wali ko KISS kyun kiya
Hajoor wo hi bar bar chilla rahi thi
PAPPI ta le lo
PAPPI ta le lo..!

Washing Pwder Nirma
Washin pwdr Nirma
Dudh c Safedi Nirma s Aye
Rangin Kapda
B Khil-2 Jae

AAP Ko Kuch b Bhejo Pdte zrur H
wo b TONE k satH

Bhakt Swami se: SwamiJi mera Puja Mein Mann Nahin Lagta Kya Karu?? Swami:Uss Puja Ko Mere Paas Bhejo, Shayad Mra Mnn Lag Jaaye..

AB: 1=2
how!

Let x=y.
= 2x-x=2y-y
= 2x-2y=x-y
= 2(x-y)=x-y
= 2=1

Saala maths ka itihas hila kar rakh dala

Antar MantarJadu Jantar Chhhooo Kuch Mahsus Hua? ? Nahi Na? Jadugar Ne Bhi Yahi Kaha Tha K ye mantr sirf insano pe asar karta he..

Apna dimag check karne ki tarkeeb ?

Cow ke paas sir jhuka kar khade ho jao

Agar wo paas aati hai to bhusa bhara hai
Agar door jaati hai to goba