dialogues for cast: Divyendu Sharma

Aspatal mein pade mareez ko aur pyar mein pade aashiq ko, kabhi akela na chhodna chahiye

Apne dil ke detergent se saare gile shikve saaf kar dijiye

Physically maro line toh tabhiyat ekdum fine

Ki gal hai? ... life mein koi girl hai?

You're the one jispe atka hai mann

Ek dost ne ek dost ko yun peeta ... tann ki shakti, mann ki shakti senorita

Tu hi Seema ka sacha He-man hai ... tune chaddi bahar nahi pehni toh kya hua ... tu hi uska Superman hai

Har ladka soft drink ki botal ki tarah hota hai ... dimag ki jagah upar dhakan hota hai

Yeh chaand bhi kya ghazab dhahta hai ... bachpan mein mama aur jawani mein apne hi bachche ki amma nazar aata hai

Yeh Seema woh hai jiski koi seema nahi ... aur yeh Seema woh hai jiske character ka koi bima nahi

Early to bed and early to rise ... makes your girlfriend go with other guys

Is vidya ke mandir mein ... yahan vidya ki murat hai toh wahan vidya ka bhashan hai ... magar afsoos is baat ka hai ki hamare paas "Dirty Picture" ki Vidya Balan nahi hai

Bomb woh thi blast main ho gaya ... bina ruke kisi station par yeh slow train bhi fast ho gaya

Hum toh ghante hai lekin woh khatre ki ghanti hai ... saali China ka maal hai nah guarantee hai na warranty hai

Chahe marr hum jaye phir bhi marham lagake jayenge ... dost ke dil se utar ke nahi, dost ke dil mein utar ke jayenge

Na suhaag hai na raat hai, phir bhi suhaagraat ka scene nazar aata hai ... believe it or not, har kutte ka din aata hai

Ibtada-e-ishq hai, rota hai kya ... toilet paper hai, dhota hai kya?

Pachaas pachaas kos door jab raat ko gaon mein baap jagta hai ... toh beta bolta hai ki - "dad soo ja varna mere jaisa ek aur aa jayega"

Maine bhari mehfil mein sher maara ... toh sherni vidhva ho gayi

Wife ne poocha husband se, ke sach kaho kitno ke saath soye ho? ... husband bola, soya toh bus tumhare saath, baki sehkadon ke saath jaga poori raat

Woh mili mujhse Heer ki tarah ... taste mein thi woh kheer ki tarah ... aur dil ke paar hui woh teer ki tarah

Agar tum safed saree mein laal bindi lagakar aa jao ... toh maa kasam ambulance lagogi

When you can't change the girl ... change the girl

Kashmir na koi le sakta hai aur Kashmir na koi de sakta hai ... Kashmir mein bus teen din aur do raat ka honeymoon package ho sakta hai

Kutton ka koi Sunday nahi hota ... kutte saaton din kutte hi hote hai