dialogues for cast: Irrfan Khan

Maine suna tha police walo ko kabhi ungli nahi karni chahiye ... lekin police wale hamari aisi ungli karenge ... kabhi nahi socha tha yaar

Bachpan mein bacha hamari ungli pakad ke chale hai taake bheed mein kho na jave ... aur jis din woh hamari ungli chhod de ... toh aise laage jaise hum hi kho gaye ho ... par baat bhi hai bhaisaab ... jab talak balak aapki ungli chhodega nahi ... tab talak aake gale kaise lagavega

Bharat ko angrezon se azaadi lene mein 200 saal lage the ... tu 18 tak toh ruk hi sakti hai

Aadmi ka sapna toot jaata hai na, toh aadmi khatam ho jaata hai

Shauk do tarah ke hove hai ... ek toh woh joh samay ke saath khatam ho jave hai ... aur duja woh joh samay ke saath maqsad ban jave hai

Roti huyi aurat pe aur dhood wale pe kabhi bharosa nahi karna chahiye

Dil ki har baat sher nahi hoti hai ... kuch lafzon ke zariye apne haal-e-dil bayaan karne ki koshish hoti hai

Asli khoobsurati tareef ki mohtaj nahi hoti ... uske liye toh bas aankhon ki wah wah hi kaafi hai

Zakhm rishtey rahe umar bhar aur waqt se berukhi ho gayi ... naam likh ke tera aaj kyun ungliyan barf si ho gayi

Log har peshe mein khudko ghulam kehte hai ... hum ishq karne wale shayari ko kaam kehte hai

Today god promise I speak English ... because English is India and India is English

My life is Hindi but my wife is English

Ek France banda, German banda speak wrong English ... we no problem ... ek Indian banda say wrong English ... banda hi bekaar ho jaata hai ji

Customer toh God hi hota hai ... lekin biwi na Mata Rani hoti hai

Yeh headmaster, headmaster nahi hai ji, yeh businessman hai ... aur aaj kal padhai, padhai nahi hai ji, yeh dhanda hai dhanda

Death aur shit ... yeh do cheezen kisi ko, kahin bhi, kabhi bhi aa sakti hai

Rokda rokde ko kheenchta hai ... rokda jab rokde se milta hai toh aur rokda pehda karta hai

Zindagi sabko imaan bachakar jeene ki luxury nahi deti hai ... naa hi sahi ya ghalat mein sahi choose karne ki azaadi ... zindagi baar baar aapko aaise modh pe laake khada karti hai ... jahan yeh tai karna mushkil ho jaata hai ki jaan bachaye ya imaan

Tu toh sarkari naukri ki tarah ho gaya hai ... badi mushkil se milta hai ... woh bhi kismat waalon ko

Aaj kal shareef sirf woh hota hai jiske mobile mein password nahi hota hai

Teri amma ne jiske baare mein nahi bataya main tera woh baap hoon

Rishton mein bharosa aur mobile pe network na ho toh log game khelne lagte hai

Sharafat ki duniya ka kissa hi khatam ... ab jaisi duniya vaise hum

Mohabbat hai is liye jaane diya ... zidd hoti toh baahon mein hoti

Neend na mashooka ki tarah hoti hai ... waqt na do toh bura maanke chali jaati hai

Yahan sabka ek hi takia-kalaam hai ... hazaar ke note pe Bapu ko salaam hai

Sheeshay ka samundar, pani ki deewarein ... maya hai, bharam hai mohabbat ki duniya ... is duniya mein joh bhi gaya, woh toh gaya

Pyar mein joh galat hai ... woh bhi sahi hai

Aap jism hai, main rooh ... aap faani hai, main lafaani

Darya bhi main, darakht bhi main ... Jhelum bhi main, chinar bhi main ... dair bhi hoon, haram bhi hoon ... Shai bhi hoon, Sunni bhi hoon, main hoon pandit ... main tha, main hoon aur main hi rahoonga

Hum kanoon hai ... saala apni aukaat pe aa jaye toh kahin bhi ghus sakta hai aur kisi ko bhi todh sakta hai

Ahankar ki aag tezaab se zyada khatarnak hoti hai ... ek baar jala de toh nishaan seedha aatma pe jake lagta hai