dialogues for cast: Sanjay Mishra

Butter utna hi lagao jitna kha paao ... aisa na ki butter lagao aur phisal jaao

Jaise dhoti pehenke koi bhi Gandhi nahi ban jaata hai ... chikni chameli pe dance karne wali koi Katrina nahi ban jaati hai ... waise hi tie, suit, boot, formal pehenke English bolne wala salesman nahi ban sakta hai

Jab cheezein aankhon ke pass ho toh aksar dhundli ho jaati hai ... phir jab door hoti hai toh saaf dikhne lagti hai ... lekin agar bahut door ho jaaye toh bhi dikhna bandh ho jaati hai

Pyar jise love kehte hai, aise kahan hota hai ... woh toh Ganga mein pehli dubki ki tarah hai ... shareer pe padte hi atma tarr ho jaati hai

Aaj kal kehte hai ki bhagwan ke baad agar kisi ko sab kuch pata hai ... sab kuch ... toh woh hai Google

Har kahani ka hero Shahrukh Khan nahi hota hai ... kabhi kabhi aapki tarah, meri tarah, ek aam insaan bhi hota hai ... apni kahani ka hero

Aap natural tarike se apne imaandari ki kamai ka kaam karte jayiye ... desh pragati khud ba khud karta chala jayega

India Pakistan mein biwi shohar ke bare mein agar itna jaante honge, toh phir woh biwi shohar nahi honge ... Karan aur Johar honge

Jis tarah dehle ke pehle nehla aata hai ... vaise hi guru ke pehle chela aata hai

Murkhon ke mohalle mein sayano ka jhopda ... kahan se chalaye is duniya mein samajhdhari ka rokda

Tumko dekha toh yeh khayal aaya ... zindagi dhoop aur tum naram chaaya

Ladki khoobsurat ho aur Scooty par ho toh pyar ho jaata hai ... aur jab ladki badsurat ho aur Mercedes mein ho toh pyar jhak marke karna hi padta hai

Tairna hai toh samundar mein tairo, talaabo mein kya rakha hai ... aur joh ishq karna hai toh mujhse karo, janaaniyo mein kya rakha hai

Jab tak rum mein nahi hoga dum ... kaise mitega gham

Mehengi sirf cheezein hi nahi hoti balki uske saath sab kuch mehenga ho jaata hai ... rishta bhi, naata bhi, pyar bhi, hasi bhi

Pehle joh hai pyaz kaante mein aasoon aate the ... ab pyaz khareedne mein

Chota mooh badi mooch

Bada sochoge, phir bada banoge

Uske Ramayan shuru hone ke pehle uska Mahabharat kar denge

Insaaniyat ka farz hai ek doosre ke kaam aana

Umar bhi kya cheez bana deti hai insaan ko

Tempo ... Dhondu nikaal!

Taqdeer kharab ho toh oonth par baithe baune aadmi ke pair mein bhi kutta kaat le

Aaj phir jalwa, phir party ... sharaab, kabab aur hum aap

Doston ke dukh dard baatne dekho Jaggi aaya hai ... abhe kaun hai woh kabootar jisne tumhe sataya hai