Jokes for Topic: Female

Man goes 2 Nark. He saw Gandhiji dancing with mallika,

Man askd2yamraj-Gandhiji ki saja itni achi kyon?

Yamraj-abe sja Gandhiji ko nhi mallika ko mili.., hai.

Third Floor se ek aurat boli kela kaisa diya ?
Kele vala bola 8 me 12. Aurat Boli 7 me 13 deta hai to uper aaja.

Teacher: Aasmaan mein udne wali chiz Ande deti hai, Aur zameen pe rahne wali Bachche deti hai. Kaun c chiz aisse hai jo Aasmaan me udti hai par Bache Zameen par deti hai?
Santa: Airhostess !

1 Aurat Ne Bare Fakhar Se Kaha Kuda Ka Shukar Ha k Is Ne Mujhe Mard Nahe Banya Agr Mard Hoti Tou Phr Mujhe kisi Aurat Se Shadi Krni Parti.

Agar basanti ki mausi takhur ko rakhi bandey tho

tho mauki ka takhur se kya rishta hoga

free mey dimag mat lagao yaar takhur ke hath he nahi hai

santa-wo Ladki behri lagti he.Me kuch kehta hu,wo kuch aur hi bolti hai banta:kaise? santa:Mene'I Luv U'kaha,to wo boli Mene kal hi Naye SANDAL kharide hai

Ek ladki ne ek ladke ko aawaz lagai….
O…Bhai Jaan..Please suneye toh zara….
Ladka bola - Oye…Pahle decide kar Bhai ya Jaan…
confuse kyu kar rahi hai…

Santa(Ladki ko chhedte huye)- Hi soniye, kya haal he?
Ladki(Gusse me)- Vahi Jo teri bahen ka he.
Santa(Hanskar)- Wo to pregnent he. Hahaha

Mayawati ik tree pe chadi.
Upar baithey Monkey ne poocha: Upar kyon aayi?
Mayawati: Apple khane.
Monkey: Yeh to aam ka tree hai.
Mayawati: Pata hai, Apple saath laayi

Boy:Darling Hamare pyar ke
bare mein kisi ko mat batana.


Girl: Sana ko to zaroor bataungi,
kehti thi kaun paagal hoga
jo tujhse pyar karega

Rahul Gandhi apni maa soniyaji se - Mom, Aapki Vajah se meri shaadi Nahi ho rahi.
Sonia - Kyun ?
Rahul - Har Taraf Likha Hai Soniajiko Bahumatdo.(Bahu MatDo)

Husband 2 Wife : Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage?

Wife remains silent

Husband : Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu ??

Wife : Abbe gin ne to De

Kaunsi devi ka kaunsa prasad India main famous hai?
RAABDI DEVI ka LALU PRASHAD.

Ek Ladki Khadi Thi,

Na Toh SMS Kr Rahi Thi Na Call Kr Rahi Thi,

Fir Bi Uska Balance Ja rha Tha..

Kaise?

Ek Pair Par Khadi Thi Na yaar!

Guys playing cards

Guy1 : I Promised
my wife I’ll Not Play
Cards anymore

Guy2 : Then what the hell
are you doing now?

Guy1 : I Never promised
I Won’t Tell Lies.

Nawab to his Begam
Hata Lo Apne Chehre Se Ye Zulfe
O Jaane tamanna...









Agli baar Khaane me Baal Aaya to Gangi Kar Dunga

Qatil-Kosis karna umer Kaid ho Fansi nai
Waqil-Dont Worry
Adalat k bad
Q-Kya hua
W-Bahut Muskilse umer qaid hui adlat to bari kr rha tha

Dehati aurat cheque cash karwane bank gayi
Clerk: Yahan sign karo
Aurat: Kaise
Clerk: Jaise letter ke aakhir mein likhti ho
She wrote: AAP KE MUNNE KI MA

Bhikhari: Beti, ek rupya Deti ja
Tera suhaag sau saal jiye.

Woman: Ab to Main Tumhe ek phooti

kodi bhi nahi dungi.

Ek commerce ki ladki kaise gali degi?
Saale bounced cheque,dharti pe liability,pedaishi bad-debt,insolventaadmi,itna marungi Balance Sheet tally nahin hogi..

GIRLS 1970: Jia beqraar hai aai bahar hai, aa ja moray baalma taira intzar hai
GIRLS 2009: Jia beqraar hai aai bahar hai, aa ja moray baalma WERNA DOSRA TIYAR HAI..

aurat jyotish k pas jakar hath dikhati he
Jyotsh: Aap 3 mahine me vidhva ho jayogi.
Aurat:Ye to mujhe bi pata he,ye batao pakdi jaaungi ya nai

Class me 2 Ladkiya,
1 gori
1 kali.
Kali Gori se:Tu konsi cream lagati he?
Gori:FAIR & LOVELY or tum?
Piche baita SANTA bola
Cherry Blosm.

Santa ke ghar Ladki ne janam liya..

Banta: jab ladki badi hogi to ladke ise chedenge.
Santa: Maine iska intejaam kar liye hai.
Banta: kya kiya?



Santa: Ladki ka naam DIDI rakh diya hai

Shadi k Dosre Din Beti apni maa Se:
Aj meri Unse Laraei Hogai,

Maa:
Beta Shadi me Jhagry tu Hotay Rehty hen.

Beti:
Wo tu Thek hy Par Ab Laash ka kya karen??...

Boy to girl-: AAJ tumne belt gutne par kyon bandhi hai. GIRL maine mummy se promise kiya hai ki tumhe BELT SE NICHE TOUCH nahi karne dungi.

GADHE ke samne 1 PAANI ki & 1 DARU ki balti rakhi'
GADHA Paani pi gaya.
Police ne sharabi se pucha- Tune is se kya sikha???


Sharabi- Jo DAARU nahi pita vo GADHA hai...

Naukrani ne malkin se kaha, memsahab gajab ho gaya, pados ki teen auraten aap ki saas ko peet rahi hai.

Malkin naukrani ke saath balakani se aayi aur chupchap tamasha dekhne lagi.
Naukarani ne poocha, aap madad karne nahi jayengi?

Malkin: Nahi uske liye teen hi kaafi hai.

Ek mahila ki aankh suzi hui thi, Padosan-Kya hua?

Mahila-Pati ne mara

Padosan-Lekin mere khyal se tumahre pati Delhi gaye hue the Mahila-Mera bhi yahi khyal tha

Married Women Ko PoLiCe Me Job Buhat Jald Kyun MiL Jati Hai?
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Becoz
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Wo Chapa Marnay Me Exert Hoti Hain. .

nurse-mubarak ho aapke ghar beta paida huwa hai
santa- wah g wah kya technology hai BV meri hospital me hai aur baccha ghar paida huwa hai.

Hijde shaadi me badhai dene gaye!
Hijda 1- Hay hay! Main to 1100 loongi!
Hijda 2- Main 2100 loongi!
Santa- Arre 2310 lo! Usme FM bhi hai!!! ;-)