Jokes for Topic: General

Aadmi Kafi Der Se WAITER Ko KHUJLI Karte Dekh Raha Tha

Aadmi Ne Use Bula K Pucha-KHUJLI H Kya

Waiter-SAAB, Agar Menu Me Likhi H To Zarur Milega.

Pathan: Station Jany K Kitne Paise Logay?
Ricksha Wala: 50
Pathan: 20 Lelo
Ricksha Wala: 20 Main Kon Le Ker Jayega.
Pathan: Tum Peeche Betho Hum Le K Jayega.

Teacher:Montu tere Papa kya krte hai?
Montu:Sir HDFC ke Malik hai!

Teacher:WAH! HDFC Bank?

Montu:Nahi Sir, Henu Dahibade & Faryali Center.

13 days ago
Santa apna sar pani me duba rha tha
Biwi-kya kAr rhe h?
Santa-Dimag chalta nhi h Sala

dekh rha hu kahi Puncher to nhi.
:-)
Smile wit me..!!

Tchr-Batao Kutta Puch Q Hilata Hai?

Boy - Q ki Puch Me Itni Taakat Nhi Hoti K Wo Kutte Ko Hila Sake!!

Sidhi Baat
No Bakvas..
Clear hai!!;-)

Ek baar ek pagal bidi bina jali bidi
pee raha tha
Dusra Pagal : Yaar bidi se koi dhuan
nhi nikal raha hai?
Pagal : Kar di na phir paglon wali baat,
Yeh “CNG” bidi hai...!!!

Lucky Jha

Theacher- 'LAdki sab ladko se hans ke baate karti hai. Batao is sentence me ladki kya hai?'
Student-'Sir, ladki bahut chaalu hai'

Exam me SIR ne nakal Krne Di or kha Bahar jake Na khna k maine nakal krai h
GOLU-na g hum kahenge sir to bhut harami tha,kutte ne hilne b nhi Dia

SANTA Roti Ka 1 Tukda Khud or 1 Murge Ko Khila Raha Tha.

BANTA- Ye Kya Kar Rahe Ho?

SANTA- Hum Khaandani Log Hain
Roz Roti Chickn Ke Saath Khate hain.

2lady ped k niche baithi Kafi der se bate kr rahi thi

Achanak 1aam gira
1lady-ye aam kese gira

Aam bola-

PAK GAYA HU TUMHARI BAATE SUN-SUN KE

1985 me Guest Ghar aate hi:
Kia Haal Hai, Papa kaise hai, Bache theek hai?.














2010 Guests Ghar aate hi:
Patli pin wala charger hai?

Girl:Kya Tum Mere Ashiq Ho
Boy:Ha
Girl:To Phir Muje chand, tare,duniya ki sari daulat-khushiya do
Boy:Tera Ashiq Hu Rajnikant Ka Beta nahi;-)

santa:- yaar bahut raat ho gyi h,
aaj raat ko yahi ruk ja,
subah chala jaio.

Banta:- theek h yaar,
fir main ghar se night dress le ata hu.

Macchar ne 1 admi ko kata.
Admi-Din me bhi kat rhe HO?
Macchar-Kya kru ghr me Maa-Baap Bimar Hai,bhen Jawan Hai Or Ladke walo Ne 1 litr khoon dahej Me Manga hai...

BF:Mai Tumhara Mobile Dekh Sakta Hu
GF:Ha Janu Q Nai Just A Minute

Delte Delete Delte
Ya Lo Janu Dekh Lo Tumha To Mujpe Trust Hi Nai

Girl: Suna hai is ghar mein
bhoot-pret rehte hain?
Santa: pata ni,
main to 7 saal pehle hi mar gaya tha.

Malkin-Tum safai Theek Tarah se Nai krti
Wo Kone me Lga jaala dekh Rahi hO?
Iska Zimedar kaun Hai?

Nokrani-Yaqeenan koi makdi hogi

Santa & Banta playin chess... Santa:chal yaar...ab band karte hain...... Banta:haan thik he...vaise bhi mera ek haati aur tera ek ghoda hi to bacha he!

Kanjus-Jao.
2 dukano se 3-3 kabab le k aao.

Servant-Janab..
6 ikhatte kyu nahi.

Kanjus-Nalaik Aadmi..!
Chatni 0r Piyaz Zyada mileygi

Santa hospital mein ek nurse se kehta hai i love u,tumne mera dil chura liya,Nurse Sharmakar:chal juthe dil ko to haath bhi nahi lagaya humne to kidney churayi hai.

CONSTABLE:SIR,KL RAT KEDIYO NE JAIL ME RAMAYN KI TI.
JAILR:TO ESME PARESAN HONE KI KYA BAT HE?
CONS:SR,HNUMAN BNA KAIDI ABI TK SANJIVNI LEKAR WAPAS NAHI AYA.

Santa - Bachpan me maa ki baat suni hoti to aaj ye din na dekhna padta. JUDGE - Kya kehti thi maa? Santa - Jab baat hi nahi suni toh kaise bataun kya kehti thi.

st beggar: arey, tum kyu us cinema poster ko aise gur rahe ho?
2nd beggar: main hee is cinema ka producer hoo

Boy-I Love U
Girl-Sorry.. Muje Dusra Pasand H, Uski BMW Hai

Boy-Are Maine Aj 10kg 'PYAAZ' Kharide He

Girl-Ohh.. Sorry Dear
I LOVE YOU TOO !:-)

2 ullu ped par ulte tange the
.
.
.
.
acchanak unme se 1 sidha khada ho jata hai
.
.
.
1st ullu - kya hua?
2nd ullu - kuch nahi chakkar aa gaye

Madam boy se-
Kahan hai copy?
Kahan hai pen?
Boy-Jabse tumhe dekha kya copy kya pen???
Tere mast-mast 2 nain,,mere dil ka le gye chen gayab hai copy or kho gye pen!...

Santa:doctor ne kha tha k T.V cabel Se bache kharab hote hai aur parhai
B nhi krte,mene cabel katva diya
Batna: Good?
S: Ab humne dish TV laga liya

Teacher:santa tense kitne prakar k hote h
Santa:3
T: very.gud. example batao
Santa:kal apki beti ko dekha. Aaj pyar krta hu. Kal bhaga k le Jaynga

Santa propose a girl..
Girl replied-
Thapad marungi...

Santa replied-
Thapad maregi toh mukka bhi khayagi.....

Taxi mai bethe huye Passenger ne driver se kaha: Mujhe Taxi mai bethne par Eik he bat ki fikar hoti hai woh hain Brakes..
Driver: Apko ghabrane ki zroorat nahi, is mai brakes hain hi nahi..

Teacher:
Snta Tumhari Attendance Bohat Kam He,
Tum Exam Me Nahi Baith Paaoge.

Bnta:
Koi Baat Nahi Mera Bhai Khade Khade Exam De Dega.

girl to baba-if i kiss a boy to kya hoga?baba-nark may javogi. girl- acha agar main aap ko kiss karu tho? baba-chalak ladki swarg may jana chahti hai