Jokes for Topic: General

hont se hont milte hain tu kya huta hai??
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socho??
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nai pata?
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uff
kitna ganda sochte ho kuch nai bus moo band huta hai

Dil ka kaha 1 kam kar do,
pyari si muskurahat mere naam kar do,
aaj duniya pe 1 ehsan kar do
Ghar se nange niklo aur pure mohalle ko hairan kar do.....

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ICE-CREAM 4 U
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Zayada Muskurao Mat

Ager HIMMAT Hai Too Kha K Dekho?!!!

RAVAN: cigarate hai kya
HANUMAN: nahi hai
RAM: ek packet hai na
HANUMAN:chup rahiye aap prabhu uske 10 sir hai pura packet pee jayega

Reporter: Laaluji, the poor women in bihar dont have clothes to wear

Laalu: U FOOL,tum FASHION TV dekhe ho? Rich women bhi clothes nahin pehanti hai. Yeh fashionwa ha

Doctor to lady: kiya aap dilevery k waqat bache k baap ko apne pass dekhna chati hain?

Lady: nahi un ko mere husband pasand nahi karte.

Kya tum ped pe chadsakte ho,
kya sanjivani buti la sakteho,
kya sina cheer k dikhasakte ho,nahi na,
beta kewal shakal bandar
jaisi hone se koi Hanumannai hota.

2007 ka faqir: baji bhoka hoon Allah k waste khana de do.

Baji: abhi khananahi bana, baad main aana.

Faqir: mera number le lo, jab khana ban jaye to miscall kar dena.

DOCTOR: Bachay 2 hi ache..
Vaise aap k kitne bache hain?

LADY: Pehle to 2 hi thay lekin jab se ishtehar dekha hai to ache ki talash me 10 ho gaye hain. ;-)

Old Man-'putar ander se mere daant le aa'

Pota-'par dada ji abhi roti to bani nahi'

Budda-- 'o nahi putar roti nahi khani samne wali buddi nu smile deni a '

Judge: Tum ne ek hi raat mein 7 jagah chori ki ?

Chor: Haan Sahib, Mai mehnat se gi nahi churata.

namaskar ye male female janch sewa hai, agar aap purush hai to 1 sms karo, mahila hai to 2 sms karo, inme se kuch nahi hai to sms na kare, hum khud smajh lenge.

Sardar looked at himself in mirror and said:
Is ko kahain dekha hai. Then he said:

Oye yaad aya, ye to woh he kamina hai jo
Shaadi ki album main meri biwi k saath hai

1 lerki ne molvi se keha: Log mujhe chedte or ghoorte hain, aap hi bataein mai kya karu..?

Molvi ne dono bazu phailaa k kaha 'Aap hamari agosh ma aajaeye'

Wife mere iraday baray neek hain, aap 1000 mai ek hain.

Sardar: mera dimag bara taiz hai, pehlay ye bata baki 999 kon hai?

Ek baar sardar ji kahain jaa rahe tahe k ek diwar par padha 'padhne wala gadha'

Sardar ko bohat ghussa aya, unhon ne mita kar likh diya! 'likhne wala gadha'

Santa: Why do girls look beautiful? Is it real or due to make up? Banta: All false. Girls look beautiful because boys have good imagination.

Agar basanti ki mausi takhur ko rakhi bandey tho

tho mausi ka takhur se kya rishta hoga

free mey dimag mat lagao yaar takhur ke hath he nahi hai

Teacher- Agar Main Teri Maa Hoti To Main Tuze 2 Dino Me Sudhaar Deti.
Student- Madam, Kal Tak Main Apne Papa Se Baat Karke Apko Bata Dunga.

Santa- Jab main chhota tha tab is ped par chadh jata tha.
Banta- Kaise?
Santa- Tab ye ped bhi chhota tha yaar.

A new teacher joins school. He find 2 boys similar in appearance.
Teacher: Kya tum dono judwa ho?
Boys: Nahi, Hum dono padosi hai.

Gandhiji Ne Ahinsa Ka Rasta Hi Kyu Chuna..?
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Guess
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Kyunki Dhishum Dhishum To Pepsodent ka kaam hai.

Is Duniya me sirf Post-Man he, Post Woman nahi he.

Aakhir Kyu?

Why?
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Kyuki Wo Delivery Dene me 8-9 Mahine Laga Deti he.

Boy: Muze Mehnati, Sadgi Se Rehne Wali, Aagyakari, Ghar Sanwar kar Rakhne Wali Ladki Chahiye.
Girl: Mere Ghar Aake Meri Nokrani Ko Le Jana.

Santa: Mera bahut naam hai.
Banta: Wo kaise?
Santa: Bewakoof, tune wo gana nahi suna kya?
Banta: kaunsa?
Santa: Arey yaar,'Jiski Biwi Moti uska bhi bada naam hai'

''Ham na badlein gay waqt ki raftaar kay sath,,,
''Faraz''

Ham jab b milen gay hamari sabzi ka rate 1 he ho ga

Aalo 10rs kilo
Tamator 15rs
Muli 5 rs

Santa Police se:
Kal rat chor mere ghar se
TV ke Ilaaava sab samaan le gaye

Police:TV kyon nahi legaya??

Santa:TV to me dekh raha tha is liye

Judge: Y U've stolen money 4m dis man?
Santa: My lord I've nt stolen money. He jst gave it 2 me
Judge: Whn He gave U money ?
Santa: Whn I showd him gun ;->

Santa to policeman: Yeh har taraf kiyon likha hai: Gadi Dhire Chalao.

Policeman: Kiyon ki, Santa Ji, yahan duur duur tak koi hospital nahi hai.

zamindar: ager me subah apni car me niklu toh shaam taq me apni adhi zamin nahi deks sakta
santa:hamare paas bhi pele esi hi car thi

2 sardar were playing chess

1st - ab bas hua hum khel band karte hain

2nd - thik hai , vaise bhi tumhara ghora aur mera hathi he baki hai .

Sahab:
Tum bathroom mei q ghus aye,
kia tumhain pta nahi tha k main naha raha hoon?

Mulazim:
Hazur galti ho gai,
main samjha tha begum sahiba naha rahi hain;-)