Jokes for Topic: Husband Wife

Wife: Ma bachunga nahi Marr jaongi...

Husband : Mein bhi Marr jaon ga!

Wife : Mein to Bimaar hoon isleya marr jaungi tum kyon maro gaey ?

Husband : Mein itni Khushi Bardasht nahi kar sakta !

Husband: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein pagal ho jaaunga.

Wife: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey na ?

Husband: Pagal ka kya hai, o kuch bhi kar sakta hai

Ek makeup sacheton lady ne mritu kaal par uski pati se daka.
Pati:bolo tumhara antim issa keya hai?
Patni:mere marne ke bad meri sundar tasbir akhbar pe chapne par mere age math likhna.
Pati:kiun?
Patni:kiun ki log ye jan jayega ke meine budhi ho gaya tha.

Pati:-jab bhi main is talwaar ko dekhta hoon to mujhe ladai per jaane ka mann karta hai.
Patni:-to phir jaate kyon nahin?
Pati:-phir unki tooti hui taang yaad aa jaati hai.

Pati:-mani abhi saree ka fanda banakar faansi laga loonga.
Patni:-kya gajab karte ho,nai saree hai.

Patni:- main tumhare bina mar jaaungi.
Pati:-main bhi mar jaaunga. Itni khushi main bardasht nahin kar paaunga.

Pati:-mere mrne ke baad tumhe mere jaisa doosra aadmi nahin milega.
Patni:- tumhe kisne keh diya, ki main doosra aadmi tumhare jaisa chahti hoon

Pati :- main tumhare saath kuch bhi share kar sakta hu.
Patni:-chalo phir bank account se start karte hain.

Patni: -suno ji,aapko mujhme kya achcha lagta hai. meri samajhdari ya meri beauty.
pati: -mujhe to tumhari ye mazak karne ki aadat bahot pasand hai.

patni: “Aapne pichle saal salgireh pe mujhe lohay ka bed diya tha, Iss baar aapka kya iraada hai?”
pati: “Iss saal uss mein current chorne ka iraada hai.”

patni: Aap bahut mote ho gaye ho.
pati: Tum bhi to kitni moti ho gayi ho.
patni: Main to maa banne wali hoon!
pati: Main bhi to baap banne wala hoon

pati: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan kahin chhupa kar rakh do, padosi aa rahe hain.
patni: Kyonji ! kya Aapke dost chura lenge?
pati: are Nahin, who apna saaman pehchaan lenge.

Pati:-aaj main sabha pati banunga.
Patni:-khabardaar jo aap mere alawa kisi aur ke pati bane.

patni : suno ji, bus me aapko logo neitna kyon mara?
pati : Are mera ek photo bus main ek aurt ke pair ke niche gir gaya tha aur mene kaha
madam zara saree uper kijiye photo lena hai….

Patni:- main tumse jo kuch bhi kahti hu tum ek kaan se sunkar doosre se nikaal dete ho.
Pati:-aur main tumse kuch bhi kahta hu to tum dono kaan se sunkar muh se nikaal deti ho.

Patni – Collage ke bare me tumhara koi bura anubhav hai?
Pati – Han, Tumhari aur meri paheli mulakat college me he to hui thi.

Patni: Suno ji, Aapko Mujme Sabse Jayada kaya Acha Lagta hai, Meri Beauty ya Meri Akalmandi? Pati: Muje to yeh teri Majak karne ki Aadat Sabse achhi lagti hai

Pati patni se:- kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul gobar jaisa swad hai Patni(matha peet te hue)Hey bhagwan!Na jane inhone kya-kya khaKe dekhahAI

Aik aadmi jungle se guzar raha tha
A Churail stops him & says:
Hoo Hoo Haa Ha Ha, mai Churail hoon,
Aadmi:janta hoon, teri 1 behan mere ghar main hai.

Ramlal, Bagwan say: Bahgwan mujhy dukh de, dard de, tension de, mujay pagal banady mery pachey kutty laga de.Bahgwan bat kat ker aby sale ek line mein kiyon nahee bolta tuj ko biwi chaie.

Wife: kaash main newspaper hoti dinbhar tumhare hathon me rehti
Hus: meri bhi yahi dua hai rab se issi bahane her din nayi nayi to milti.

Ek kavi shaadi ke baad biwi se bola: aaj se thum hi mere kavitha ho, kalpana ho, bhavana ho!
PAtni: mere liye bhi aaj se aap hi dinesh ho, ramesh ho, suresh ho

Patni:Wo sharabi dekh rahe ho,10 sal pehle maine usse shadi k liye inkar kiya tha or wo aj tak pi raha hai. Pati:Wah itni lambi celebration.

Wife:Chalo na kahin chalte hai,ghumne car me aur car me drive karungi. Husband:Yadi tum car drive karogi to jayenge car me,ayenge akhbaar me

SAWAAL: Patni maike jaakar pati ko roj phone kyun karti hai?? JAWAAB: Taki pati ko yaad rahein musibat tali nahi phir aane waali hai..

WIFE: kyu ji! Jab bhi me aapke pass aati hu to aap Chasma pehente ho? HUSBANd: Doctor ne kaha hai jab SAR DARD aaye to Chasma pehen lena.'

Patni: Suno ji, Aapko Mujme Sabse Jayada kaya Acha Lagta hai, Meri Beauty ya Meri Akalmandi? Pati: Muje to yeh teri Majak karne ki Aadat Sabse achhi lagti hai..

Pati patni se:- kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul gobar jaisa swad hai Patni(matha peet te hue)Hey bhagwan!Na jane inhone kya-kya khaKe dekhahAI

Patni: Suno ji, Aapko Mujme Sabse Jayada kaya Acha Lagta hai, Meri Beauty ya Meri Akalmandi? Pati: Muje to yeh teri Majak karne ki Aadat Sabse achhi lagti hai

Train mai ek husband apni wife say: 'tujh say shadi kar k pachta raha hoon.'

'dil karta hai tujhe kutttay k aagay daal doon'

Samnay wala passenger bola: 'bhao bhao'

Banta: Wife agar husband ko naukar samjhe to husband ko kya karna chahiye?
Santa: Zyada kuch nahi, do char ghar aur pakad lene chahiye.

Santa: Begum aj chicken bahot testy bana hai koi khas masala lagaya hai kya.?


Wife: Nahi murgi jal gai thi to maine BURNOL lagai thi..