Jokes for Topic: Job

Ramu- In aalu ke paraathon me aalu nazar nahi aa rahe he!!
Shyamu- Yaar naam par mat ja, Kashmiri pulav me kabhi kashmir nazar aata he kya?

Santa:Mujhe phone par dhamkiya mil rahi hai.
Police: kaun woh?
Santa: BSNL wale, bolte hai bill nahi bhara to kaat denge

Maalik naukar se : Aaj tumane roti me jayada ghi laga diya hai.

Naukar : Galti ho gai maalik lagta hai mene aapko apni roti de di.

Naye company mai job aaye hai salary 80,000 karne hai to jaldi reply karo.Zyada mehnat ka kam nahi hai bas bijli ke taron per,gela kapra marna hai.

CHOR:Apne paise nikal

MAN:I am Zardari,President of pak

CHOR:Acha to phir hamare paise nikalo

Customer:-Bhai kab se wait kar raha hon
khana abhi tak tayar nahi hoa?

Hotel wala:-Bhai sahab khana to 3 din say tayyar hai
bas garam ho raha hai.

Santa: DOCTOR, AAPKO TAANKE LAGANE AATE HAI.
DOC: HAA AATE HAI,KAHA LAGANE HAI?
Santa: YE LO MERI CHAPPAL PE LAGA DO.

Munna bhi: Ye doctor log operation karte samay patiant ko sula kyon dete hai?

Circuit: Bole to patiant khud operation karna sikh nale eslia bhia

Pappu Ne Jalte Hue Makan Se 6 Logo Ko Apni Jaan Pe Khelkar Bahar Nikala
Fir Bhi Usko Jail Ho Gayi
Kyun...
Kyun..Ki Vo Sab Firebrigade Wale The

yOUNG AND SEXY GIRL GOES TO DOCTOR WITH MOM.

GIRL - CHECKUP KRANA HAI.

DOCTOR - SARE KAPDE UTAR KE WAWHAN LET JAO.

GIRL - MERA NAHI, MUMMY KA KRAWNA HAI.

DOCTOR - MATAJI JEEBH DIKHAO. :-)

RAAZ Apne Dost Ki Qabar P Gya

Or Haal Chaal Pucha
Qabar Se Aawaz N Aayi

RAAZ Qabar P Likh K Chala Aaya K

AISA KROGE TO KON AAYEGA

Boss-Ek Accha Mirror Leke Avao Jisme
Muje Mera Chehra Dikaye De

RAAZ-Mai Sab Dukan Gya Pr Sabme
Mere Hi Chehra Dikha

Judge-Tumne Chori Ki Thi
Chor-Ji.Ha
Judge-Tumne Chori Kaise Ki
Chor-Rahne Do Sahab!
Ab Is Umar Me Aap Chori Ke Gun Sikh Kar Kya Karoge

RAAZ taxi driver se-Kutub Minar chaloge
Driver-Jee ha
RAAZ-kya loge ?
Driver-paise

Girl-HUM Kahan Ja Rahay Hain?
Boy-Long Drive Per.
Girl-Wow.. Pehlay Kyun Nahi Bataya.
Boy-Mujhay Bhi Abhi Pata Chala Hay
Girl:Kaisay BoY:Break Nahi lag rahi

Bania: Bhagwan, agar tum muje 100 rupe do, to 50 rupe main mandir me dunga.

Thodi dur ja k Bania ko 50 rupye mil gaye.

Funny Bania: Wah Bhagwan, itna bhi bharosa nahi, apne paise pehle hi kat liye..

Boss: Tumhe driver ki job de raha hun. Starting salary Rs.2000/-. Theek hai?

Funny driver: You are great sir! Gaddi START karane ki salary is o.k.......but? ? Gaddi chalane ki salary kitni hai... sir jio?

Employee-
' boss meri shadi ho gayi,meri salary bhada do'

Boss-
'factory ke bahar hone wale hadso ke liye company zimedar nahi hoti'

teacher ne bachhe ki copy par note likha kripya bachhe ko nahalakar bheja kare.
bachhe ki mom ne note padne ke bad likha kar bheja bachhe ko padaya kare sungha na kare

Manager: hamaare bank mein hum aapko binaa interest ke loan denge.
customer: arey, jab dena hai to thoda haste haste dona. agar dene mein interest nahi hai, to mat do

Q:Ladkiya Kabi Khud Pyar Ka Izhar Pehle Q Nhi Krti?
Intresting Jawab:

Taki Break-up Krte Waqt Ye Keh Sake Ki Tum Mere Piche Pade The,Mai Nai. .

Customar (hotel manger se-subah ke waqt mai baid pe breajfast lena pasnd krta hu
Manegar-no problam lekin apko apna bed neche restra me lana hoga

Tom-Papa Mai Kal School Nai Jaunga
Papa-Q Beta?
Tom-Aj School Me Hamara Wazan Kiya Gya
Papa-To Kya Hua?
TOm-Aaj Wazan Kiya Hai Kal Bech Diya To?

Santa Amrud bech rha tha
Banta- Agar amrud me kida nikla to?
Santa-To saaf baat hai...
Phale Hi Bol dete hai
hum kide ke alag Paise Lenge

Doctor Tum to Mamuli Pith Dard Bata Rahe The
Lekin Tumhari to Dhadkan Bhi Kafi Badhi Hui Hai...

Banta-Wo 2 Apki Fees Dekhkar Bdhi Hai.

BOSS-itne kam kapde pehan K Q Aai Ho?
Aadha Jism Dikh Raha Hai
Girl-Itni Salary Me Yahi Aata He
BOSS -Manager, Ishko 3 Month Tak Salary Mat Dena..

Ek Andha Police Me Bharti Hone Ke Liye Gaya.
Officer Ne Pucha 'Tumhe Hum Kis Liye Rakhe.?'
Andhe Ne Fauran Jawaab Diya 'Andha-Dhund Firing Ke Liye

Santa: Tumhara Shop Ka Doodh Kharab Hai

Shrbat Me Dala Pht Gya

Dudh Wale Ne Pocha

Konse Sharbat May Dala Tha?

Santa : LIMOO PANI Me

- interview -

Question: To bataiye PANI ke bina insan kese marega?

Answer- Sir, PANI Nahi hoga to insaan tairega kaise? Tairega nai to doob jayega!! den dead...

Ultimate logic of Santa
Banta: What is the opposite of 'Achaar'?
Santa: Onion.
Banta: How?
Achaar = Pickle = Pee+kal. So opposite of 'Pee+kal' is 'Pee+aaj' = Onion.

4 Rishte Be-naqaab Ho
Jaty Hyn

1- Burhapey Mein Aulaad

2- Museebat Mein Dost

3- Ghurbat Mein Biwi

Aur

4- Sales Na Hoon Tou
Manager ..

Ak aadmi dudh lane gaya aor bola
Rupu:- 5 kg dudh dena.
Ramu:-par tera katora to chota ha isma 5kg gaay ka dudh kase lega .
Rupu:-to thik ha bakri ka dudh de do.