Jokes for Topic: Male

1 pathan ne jali note banaya orr Quaid-e-azam ki topi bhol gaya
Jab dukandar ko dia tou dukandar ne kaha:
Iski tou topi nahi hay.

Pathan Bola:
Ye Quaid-e-azam lala ki garmion ki tasveer hay...=P;->

Santa: Main ek baar jungle mein susu karne gaya toh waha per Sher tha.
Banta: Phir kya hua?

Santa: Maine Sher se kaha, “Pehle tum karlo, mera toh ho gaya hai.”

Wife to husband:Uttho raat ke 2 baje he,
Husband to wife:Itni raat ko q uthaya
Wife to husband:Aapne neend ki goli nahi li

Dr:jab apko pta tha chipkali apke kaan me ghus rahi hai to aap chup Q the?
Santa:pahle Cockroach gaya tha to muje laga ki chipkali use pakdne ja rhi thi

Santa: Dr.Sahab 2 SalPehle Mujhe Bukhar Aya Tha...
Dr:To Ab Kya Hua.



Santa: aap ne Nahane ko Mana Kiya Tha

Naha Lu?

Munna : Yaar Circuit ,ye gandhiji Har note me haste kuy rehte hai?
Circuit:Simple hai bhai! Royenge to note gila ho jaye ga......

Wt s de bigest pressure 4 Pak captain wn Pak neds 1 run 2 win in 8 ovrs,wd 5 wickets in hand?

Ya Allah!How 2 speak English in presntaton ceremony?

Santa: Tumnay new car kb li?
Banta: Ek din ek larki mujhey apni car mai bhita kar lay gai, aur
kapray utar kar boli jo chahiye lay lo, maine car lay li
Santa: Changa keeta kapray ki karnay siiiiii (well done, what you will do with cloths!)

Santa: Kela kitne ka hay?
Kelay wala: 1 rupay ka ek.
Santa Ji: Kela 60 paisay ka do gay?
Kelay wala: 60 paisay ka Kelay ka chilka milay ga.
Santa Ji: Ok! ye lay 40 paise
kela mujhe day chilka to rakh.

LALU-Rabri tum meri CHAND ho.
RABRI-ye ji ...humko CHAND-VAND mat kahiye sasura america bale daily chadhte hai.

Wife:raat ko ghar me chor aaya or mujhe kiss karke chala gaya.

Pati- tumne roka nahi?
Wife- bhut kaha tha rukne ke liye, bola fir aaonga.....

guest host se- main khana kha raha hoon par ye kutta mujhe kyun dekh raha hai?
host- ye kutta apni plate achhi tarah pehchanata hai

Banta selling Parashut : Plane se kudo, Button Dabao, Aur aap zamin pe safely land!
Custmer : Agar Parashut na khula to?
Banta : O G paise wapas.

teacher asked to student wht is your cast?

stu:- pehle to hum sharma thay ,fir rajput thay. fir baniy ho gaye , abhi hah darzi, aage mummy ki marzi.

Chintoo : Aaj maine apni class mein sabse pyaari larki ko phansa li..

Friend : Woh kaisey?
Chintoo : “Class lagi thi.. Maine kaghaz ka jahaz bana ke Phainka. Jahaza teacher ke pass chala gaya. Uss ne ghusey se poocha yeh kiss ne phainka? Maine us larki ka naam le liya aur who phans gaye bichari

Santa: Tu office mein toh bada sher bana ghumta hai, ghar par kya ho jata hai?
Banta: Hota toh sher hi hoon par DURGA sawar ho jaati hai…

Raat ke 2 baje ek admi bahu ke kamre
se nikla aur chala gaya.
Saas ne dekha lekin kuch na boli
Kyu…

Kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi!

Pathan BLOOD Ke bare mein book parh raha tha

Wife: Aaj yeh book kyu parh rahe ho ji?
Pathan: Mujhe doctor ne kaha hai ke kal mera BLOOD test hai iss liye test ki tayari kar raha hoon.

Husband:Hypnotize karna kisay kehtay hain???
Wife:kisi ko apnay control main kar k us say apni marzi k kaam karwanay ko kehtay hain,
Husband:Chal jhooti usay tou Shaadi kehtay hain

PATIENT: Dr bahut patli aa rahi Hai.
DR: Kitni Patli
PATIENT: Bahut Patli
DR: Kitni patli
PATIENT : Itni patli ki SMS padnewala kulli kar le

Santa Platfrom k side leta tha
Banta-Kya kar rahe ho?
Santa-Sucite
Banta-to beach me leto
Santa-Dar lagta he

srk ko audition mein ek ladki ne bhaiya kaha aur wo ladki film ke liye select ho gayi secrtry ne pucha apno usko select kyon kiya srk ne kaha pehli baar to kisi ne bhai kaha hai

Teacher:Aasman me udne wali cheez ande deti hai, zameen pe rehne wali bache deti hai. kaun hai joaasman me udti hai par bachche zameen par deti hai? Chintu:Airhostess!

Pathan: Molvi sahab wazu k baghair namaz ho jati hai?
Movie: Nahi hoti

Pathan: Ho jati hai yara
Molvi: Bhai, nahi hoti

Pathan: Hojati hai, mene khud perh k dekhi hai.

Train me Santa ne apna trunk upar samaan rakhne vali jagah par rakh diya. Neeche Gujarati Gujju baitha tha.

Gujarati Gujju: apna samman kahi aur rakho, mere sirr pe gir jaega

Santa: Koi baat nahi friend, iss me tutne vali koi cheez nahi hai.

Ye badalti ratein, Ye doobtay arman
Ye jaltay diye, Ye bujhti shamaein
Ye kuch or nahi hai Faraz….

… Sirf K.E.S.C ka kamina pan hai

SHERU ARPITA SE BOLA -

“BHAI AAJ TO CHAY PINE KA MAJA AA GAYA.”



ARPITA NE KAHA- “UNCLE JI, AGAR BILLI

NE DUDH ME MUH NA MARA HOTA TO AUR BHI MAJA AATA.”

Allama Iqbal farmatay hain…
ooper se sab dekh raha hon Faraz ka haal iqbal,
Acha hi hua k mene koi asan shair nahi banaya

1 ladka apne gf k liye chudiya lekar jata he!
gf- khud hi pehnado
boy- mujhe kya pta tha itna acha response milega varna me kapde lekar ata

Mukesh & Anil have been advised to take large doses of Hajmola!!
Why???
?
?
?
Bcoz Hajmola guarantees to solve al ur GAS problems!! ;-)

Gabber: Aaj maine Basanti ko nahate hue dekha!
Viru: Kutte, Kamine main tera khun pi jaunga.
Gabber: Haramkhor, me naha raha tha or Bansanti ja rahi thi !!

santa-agar mere hath me sarkar ho to
me desh ki taqdir badel dunga.
wife-tum pehle apna pajama tobadal lo subha
se ulta pehn rakha hai.