Jokes for Topic: Male

Santa: You will never succeed, in making that dog obey you.
Jeeto: Nonsense it's only a matter of patience, I had a lot of trouble with u at first

Santa ki taangen neeli pad gaeen.
Doctor -“jahar hai...kaatani padengeen !”
.
taangen kaatakar nakali laga di gaeen.
do din baad nakli taangen bhi neeli pad gaeen.
.
Doctor – “ab beemaari samajh mein aai...jeens rang chhodati hai!”

santa ped par ulte latake hue tha,
banta ne poochha – kya ho gaya?
santa- kuchh nahin, sir dard kee golee
khaee hai, kaheen pet mein na chalee jae.!!!

Purushon ko ghabaraane ki koi jaroorat
nahin hai,
gold rakhane par limit lagi hai..
gold phlek rakhane par nahin..

Es baar GOD ne sabki sunle H....
Lover/Couples ke liye Valentine's day
Singles ke liye india Pakistan Mach...
Uske ghar me der H par andher nahi

Que.: Aap Chay pine ke liye kis had tak Jaa sakte hai?
.
.
.
.
Ans: Ji, Mein ek bar to
Ladki Tak dekhne chala gya tha...

1 sardaro k gaon me nadi pe bridge bnaya gya.
Builder:bhut achcha ho gya.
Sardar:ha ji pehle dhoop m tair k nadi paar krte the ab chhav m tair kr krenge.

Ek Admi ne 1ungli se 8 admi ko upar pahucha diya
or wo rajnikant b nahi tha

Batao kese?

Lift se yar
Q Apne kamjor dimag par jor dete ho

DOCTOR-
AaPne JiSko SWIMING-PUL Me Dubne Se Bachaya Usne FANDA Lagakar KHUDKUSHI
Kar Li
PAGAL-Wo To Mai Use Sukhane Ke Liye Tang Kar Aaya Hu

Japanese proverb: If 1can do it, u too can do it. If none can do it, u must do it
Indian: If 1can do it, let him do it. If none can do it, leave it

Santa talking on phone.
Banta:Kis se baat kar rahe ho?
Santa:Biwi se.
Banta:Itne pyar se...?
Santa:Tumhari hai.

Kabhi Kisi Ko Tang Kiya Nahi Karte
Yu Fizol sms ya Misscall Diya Nahi Karte
Jiska Mobile Hay Usko Wapis Kardo
Insano ki chezo se BANDAR khela nhi krte.

Sales and Marketing Company ka call -
'Hi I'm Mohit from Kolkata'
Me- to main kya karu ?
'Hi I'm Aakas from Pune'
Me- to main kya karu ?
'Hii I'm Nitibha from Delhi'
Me- Hiiiiiiiiiii Nitibha.

Samundar ke kinaare lehre aa gayi,
Samundar ke kinaare lehre aa gayi,
kismat badle na badle kam se kam chappal dhul gayi

Aap dil ko behlate bahut ho,
Aap dil ko behlate bahut ho,
socha aap ko dinner par le jaaye..
par zaalim tum khaate bahut ho.

Santa- Raat ko mujge ek aadmi ne
Chaku(knife) dikha k loot liya...
Banta- Lekin tere paas to GUN thi?
Santa- wo maine chhupa di warna wo bhi loot leta...!

My girlfriend is like my iPhone.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I don't have an iPhone.

santa-I lost rs.1000 in a bet
banta- how
santa-on cricket match, i bet rs.500 and lost.
banta where did the rest go?
santa-I bet on the highlight too. very funny santa banta jokes on cricket

Aaj anmol vachan:
Sukh aadmi ko utna milega,
Jitna usne punya kiya hoga.
Lekin
Shanti aadmi ko utni hi milegi,
Jitni uski biwi ki marzi hogi.

Santa to Banta : Yeh bacha tumhara kya lagta hai?
Banta : yeh mera door ka bhai hai,
Santa : Door ka mein samjha nahin,
Banta : Ess k aur mere beech 8 behan bhai aur hai !

Santa driving on the wrong side of road..
&
Said…
O===SHIT===
Aaj phir late ho gaya.
Saare log wapis ja rahe hai.............short jokes

Santa went to temple & saw people puting coin in box & praying
Santa: Wow! How amazing. People are talking to God through coin
phone without receiver!.............short jokes

Bigg Boss 10 ki Grand Success ke baad
Bigg Boss Alaan karte hai-
Bigg Boss 11 me bhi shawmi Jee to contestant Rakha jayega..
Afer That Bigg Boss 11 - Received not a single contestant to participate....

1 ladke Ne Radio Mirchi Pe Call Kiya-
Ladka : Mujhe 1 Purse Mila Hai, Jisme 10,000 Cash, iPhone-7,
1 Credit Card Aur Sonam Ke Naam Ka Id Mila Hai.
Radio RJ: Wah… Aap Kitne Honest Hain.
Kya Aap Unhe Wo Purse Waapis Karna Chahenge.?
Ladka : Nahi!!Nahi!! Main Chahta Hu Ki Sonam Jee Ke Liye,
Ek Dard Bhara Song Ho Jaaye.....very very sad song aur
1 mast fresh sms love jokes suna dijiye

1 baar Pappu train mein safar kar raha tha.
Train mein bahut bheed hone ke karan Pappu ek ganje adami ke seat par baith gaya.
Adami jhunjhala kar bola, 'haan-haan, mere sir par aa kar baith ja.'
Pappu: nahin Uncle main yaheen theek hoon, wahaan se phisalane ka dar hai!

Jeeto- Ye kamre ki etni gandi halat kyo bane hai?
Papu- Mai Acting ki Practice karta hu
Jeeto- Kese acting?
Papu- Man vs Wild

Santa Banta se bola “Bhai aaj to chay peene ka maza aa gaya.”
Banta : Santa Jee, agar billi ne dudh me muh na mara hota to aur bhi
maza aata!!!

Ladko ko sabse jayada Gussa kab ata hai??
Jab 1 ladka 2 cute sweet Girls ke Bich Baitha ho
tab tisri ladki ke aane ke baad Autowala kahta hai-Bhai tu aage aaja

Ek baar santa ki bhains kho gaye
woo use dhoondta huwa park me pahucha
wha ek ladka appne premika ki ankh me aankhe dal kaar kah raha rha tha-
'Jaan mughe tumhari aakho me puri duniya nazar aati hai'
Santa bola, bhai jara dekh kaar batao ki meri bhains kaha hai ??

Plz Dont kill me after reading this-
Santa- Yar banta hamare beech kya relation hai ?
Banta- Wahi jo Besan or Pakode ka hai !
Banta- kaise ?
Santa- Kyunki jab Besan SANTA hai tabhi to Pakauda BANTA hai

Santa ko rota dekhkar Banta ne pucha kya hua?
Santa : Meine 2 ton ka AC kharida,
ghar aakar tola to sir 35 kilo ka nikla!

Santa : Mujhe mobile me MP3 songs dalwane hai.
Mobile Shop Wala : Memory card hai kya?
Santa : Nahi memory card nahi hai, RASAN CARD chalega?