Jokes for Topic: Male

Ek shrabi roz SHIV mandir pe sir tekta tha.Ek din Pujari ne SHIV murti ki jagah GANESH murti rakhi.Shrabi aya,dekha bola Chotu,papa se bolna main aya tha..

Ek aadami bhains ke upar beth kar aa raha hota hai.
Police wala - helmet kaha hai.
Aadami - sahib tanik upar nahi niche dekho ee 2 wheelar nahi 4 wheelar hai.

AFTAB to SHAHRUKH:Tumhe pata hai aab tak ki meri sab se achi perfomance 'ANKAHEE' hai.
SHAH RUKH:TO fir aab kiyu Bata rahe ho!!!

Patient: Mjhe bemari hai. Na khaoon tu bhook lagti
hai,
Na soo tu Neend aati hai, Ziada kaam kr k thak jaata
hoon.

Doctor: Saari Raat Dhoop mai betho Theek hojaogay.

Ajeet: Raabutt, use TNT se uda do !
Robert: Lekin Boss, TNT kyon, dynamite kyon nahin ?
Ajeet: Bevokoof, is-se yeh NTT se nan-NTT ban jayega

Robert: Iska kya kare Boss?
AJIT: Robert is ko liquid oxygen may daal do ! Liquid issay jeenay nahi day gaa, oxygen issay marnay nahi day gaa!

KBC ME SHARUKH NE MUJH SE PUCHA.’WORLD KA SABSE BADA ULLU KON HAI? MENE 1 CRORE RS. THUKRA DIYE, LEKIN TERA NAAM NAHI BATAYA!

hamara chand hamare hi hantho kho gaya ……..
ab to naa hame uski yaad hai………….
naa woh hame yaad karta hai…………..
ab woh hamara nahi kisi aur ka ho gay

Scene - Robert gets a sidey to Ajit.)
Robert: Boss, humne sidey ko pakad liya
AJIT: Ise maar ke pulees station ke saamne rakh do. Aur iske badan par ek sui chubha do.
Robert: Par sui kyon, boss!
AJIT: Bewakoof! Pulees yeh samjhegi ki sui-cide hua hai!

AJIT: “Robert, Harshad Mehta the Bull ka stool test karaao”
“Kyon boss?”
“Pata to chale akhir ye Bullshit kya hota hai”

Robert: Boss , Sona kahan hai ? ( Where is the Gold ? )
AJIT: Kahin par bhi so jao Robert !!

gita me likha hai
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are yaha nahi gita me likha hai

AJIT: Robert, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai ?
Robert: Boss, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakke maar raha hai.
Ajit: Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega.
Lunch break mein usse phone milana.
Robert: Yes Boss.
AJIT: (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun Reechards,
tumhari Maa hamare kabze mein hai …….

1 INDIAN FUJI APNI MAAN KO 1965 KAY JANG KI GOLA BARI KAY BARAY MAIN BATA RAHA THA TU US KI MAAN BOLI BETA TUM BHAG KAR DARAKHT (TREE) PAR CHAR JATAY TU FUJI BOLA AMAAN DARAKHT PEHLAY HI OFFICERS KAY LEAY KAM PAR GAEE THAY

AIK POLICE INSPECTER APNI BARAT WALI CAR MAIN BETHA LARKI WALOON KI TARAF JARAHA THA PECHAY BARATIAN KI BUS ARAHEE THE .................... POLICE INSPECTER NAY APNAY SATHI KO CALL KAR KAY KAHA KAY AIK BUS HUMARA BARI DAIR SAY PECHA KAR RAHEE HAY ISAY ROOK KAY CHECK KAROO

Bob: Boss, mission par kaise jaaoon, mujhe headek ho raha hai.
AJIT:Bewakoof………Abe head ek ho ya do, kaam to karna hi padegaa.!

AJIT: Mona daarrling, tum Toni ke saath ghuumna band kar do,
Mona: Lekin kyon Boss?
AJIT: Bahut MonaToni ho jayegee…

Scene - Ajit thoroughly disgusted with Mona daaa..arrling’s typing.)
AJIT: Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko kaat do.
Robert: Magar kyoon boss ?
AJIT: Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam shaarthand to seekh legi.

Two boys ko 3 live Bomb milte hai… Wo un bombs ko police ko dene Jate hai……..
(raste mein… )
First boy: agar koi bomb raste mehi phat jaye to???
Second boy: jhoot bol denge ke 2 hi mile the .

AJIT: Robert, in kutton ke saamne yeh Compooter laga do aur
debugger istarrt kar do.
Robert: Lekin kyoon, boss?
AJIT: Saale Checkpoint mein atak jayenge.

Scene - Ajit ordering his chela to kill the enemy.)
AJIT: “Robert, Ise varnish mein daal do,
saala mar bhi jaayega aur finish bhi ho jaayega.

Asmanme panchi ud raha he furrrrr furrrrr
Asmanme panchi ud raha he furrrrr furrrrr
Asmanme panchi ud raha he furrrrr furrrrr
arey ashman me ud rahahe
to idhar kya dhund rahe ho ashmanme dekhona
ullu………..

Joke in 1 word-
hindu

joke in 2 words- hindu pandit

joke in 3 words- hindu playing chess !

joke in 4 words- hindu playing with donkey!

Teacher: batao Gandhi jee kaise paida huye?
Boy: Indian govt says 'I.S.I is fully involved in dis tragedy'.Kehti hai'I.S.I na banti Gandhi jee ka janm na hota'

3 boys where going on a motor cycle. policeman gives hand to stop sardar shouted oye pehle hi teen bhete hai tu kaha bethega...!

MAMMU-ye chand to raat mein nikalta hai aj din mein kaise nikal gaya
GIRL-ullu to raaat mein bolta hai aaj din mein kaise bol pada`

Do khoosrey kahin jaa rahey they unn mien se ek neechey gir gya tu dusri ne usey uthatey huey kaha UTHO BEHAN MARD BANO..

PUNJAB POLICE ka koi jawab nahi, kal 1 BIHARI talab me naha raha tha to ek POLICEwala kehta :- chal oye bahar aa k kapde pahen, teri talashi leni hai...

Mobile repair krne walay ko loose motion ho jaye to wo kaisey explain karega? Doctr sahab subah se missed calls aa rahi hain,outgoing main taklif ho rhi ha.Subah se naye naye ringtone baj rahe hain. or pait main balance nahin bach raha, jitna b recharge kro utna kharach ho rha hai

Ek pagal gusse me: oye mai is duniya ko mita dunga… mita dunga… mita dunga… Dusra pagal: he he he! mai tujhe rubber hi nai dunga

Munna bhai-abe circuit,1baat bata,agr bina daant ka kutta kisi ko kate to kya karte hai? (Circuit bahut sochne k baad) Simple hai bhai,bina sui k 14 injection lagva do!! :)

Santa completed his MBBS & did his first operation.
Soon after finishing,the patient died.
He prayed: waheguru mera pehla gift swikar karo!