Jokes for Topic: Male Female

Santa ( Bnata se ) :

Garmiyo me mujhe dohari khushi milti hai …

Banta : Par kyu ??

Santa : Meri biwi garmiye ke chutti me maike chali jaya hai..

Aur Mohalle se gai ladki apne maike aajati hai

Banta Santa ke ghar gya ..

Banta : Yar santa…teri aur bhabhi ki jodhi to

sita-ram ki joksi lagti hai..

Santa : Kaha yar..

Isse to na dharti nigalti hai na hi

koi raavan utha ke le jata ha

Ek bhikhari ko 500 ka note mil jata,

Wo 5 star hotal me jake bhar pet khana kha leta hai ..

Bill 3500 ka aata hai,

Waiter ke bill mangane pe bhikhari bolta hai paise nahi hai,

Fir police aati hai aur bhikhari ko pakadh ke leke chali jati hai..

Bhikha police ko 100 rupee de kaf chhut jata hai …..

Ek bar tau ne tai ched di..

Tai tau ko gali dene lagi..

Paas se gujar rahe ek pache ne bola..

Kya huwa tau ..kya bat hai..

.

.

Tau : Kuch nahi beta … Beta Purana Transformer hai..

Char char kar raha hai…

Pappu apni girlfriend se bolta hai

Pappu : Kal hum dusari jagah milege..

Girlfriend : kyu ?

Pappu : Tumhare gali ke bache kutte piche laga dete hai..

Aur bolte hai jab pyar kiya to darna kya..

Ek girlfriend ne apne boyfriend ke seene par apna

Sar rakha hua tha aur boli, janu tumara dil to bhut

mulayam hai.

Boyfriend: Are pagli wo dil nahi hai, mere jeb me rajnigndha ki puriya hai.

khayegi kya.

Boyfriend: Maine kal ek movie dekhi

Use dekh kar mujhe teri yad aagai………..

Girlfriend: Muje bhi tumhari yad aati hai

Waise kaun si movie thi.

Boyfriend: Ek thi dayan.

Ek bhikhari: 10 rupee dedo malik,

Apni girlfriend ko call karna hai.

Malik ki girlfriend: Dekho, bhikhari bhi apni

Girlfriend ko kitna pyar karta hai.

Bhikhari: Aisi bat nahi hai malkin, use

Pyar karne ke bad hi mai bhikhari bana hu.

Girlfriend Boyfriend Se..

Girlfriend : Main tumhare pyar me lut gahi, barbaad ho gayi,

Badnaam ho gayi ….

Boyfriend : To pagli, main tere pyar me konsa collector ban gaya…

Samose bech raha hu ….

Girlfriend Boyfriend se bolti hai..

Girlfriend : Jaanu, batao jab main hasti hu to kesi lagti hu.?

Boyfriend : Aisa lagta hain jaise, Nokia 1100 hang ho gaya ho.

Girlfriend De Thapadh De Thapadh

Girlfriend: Janu, Mera dil mobile hai aur tum uska sim.

Boyfriend: Baby, mai ek bat poochhu.

Girlfriend: Haa poochho

Boyfriend: Baby, tumhara mobile dual- sim wala to nahi hai.

Santa : Dawa aur Daaru mein kya fark hota hain?

Banta : Dawa girlfriend ki tarha hoti hain jo expiry date ke saath aati hain

Aur daaru biwi ki tarha hoti hain ..,
Jitni Purani hogi utna hi sir chaadh ke bolti hain…

Ek baar santa banta se : Kya bol rahe ho yaar..?

Har ghante mein injection dete hain tumhe,,,

Koi badi bimari hain kya..?

Banta : Nahi yaar, Mujhe malum nahi tha ki

woh khubsurat nurse doctor ki girlfriend hain,

Maine usey purpose kar diya,

Uski saza mil rahi hain

Girlfriend : Bahot attitude hai tum me toh..
Boyfriend : Attitude to bachpan se Hai mere me..
Jab me peda huwa tha
toh 1 saal maine kisi se baat nahi ki thi..

Santa : Yar.. mai aur meri girlfriend

sadi kar rahe hai..

;;

Banta : Kab ?

;;

Santa : Mai 14 june aur

meri girlfriend 20 june ,

Girl to boyfriend : Suno, kya tum mere liye sher ko maarkar laa sakte ho??

Boyfriend : No baby, kuch aur batao,
Main tumhare liye aur Kuch bhi laa sakta hu….

Girlfriend : kya main tumhara whatsapp check kar sakti hu???

Boyfriend : kaha hai wo sher jis ke baare mein tum baat kar rahi thi ….???

Kanjoos aadmi ka beta apni gf ke sath ghumne gaya,

laut kar aaya to kanjoos ne pucha : Kitne rupee udaa aaya???

Beta : 200/-

Yeh sunkar kanjoos naraz ho kar gaaliyan dene laga

Beta : Aur kya karta papa…uss ke pass itne hi the

Ek ladke ne nai jaguar car kharidi..

Aur apnii girlfriend ko dikhane ke liye le gya !!!

Girlfriend : Aree wah nai car… wo bhi puma ki..

.

.

Ladka abhi bhi ICU me hai.. Aur sadme se bahar nahi aayam

Pappu apni girlfriend ke sath coffee house coffee pine gaya..

Pappu : Jaldi pilo coffee warna thandhi ho jayegi..

Girlfriend : To kya huwa..

Pappu : Tumne rate nahi dekha kya..

Coffee 15 rupee aur Cold Coffee 50 rupee

Santa : Sarab pi raha tha aur jor jor se ro raha tha..

Banta : Ro kyu rah hai..

Santa : Jis ladki ko bhulne ke liye pi rahu hu…

uska nam bhi yad nahi aaraha..

Kamini lagta haio corrupt File thi memory me.

Santa apni girlfriend se puchata hai :

Tum Chinese jaisi kyu dikhti to..

Girlfriend : Mere papa Chinese the..

Santa : AB kaha hai tumhare papa ..

Girlfriend : Ab nahi rahe wo..

Santa : Ha Chinese mall chalta bhi kitne din..

Ladka : Tumhara nam kya hai,,

Ladki : Mina…..

Aur tumhana nam kya hai

Ladka : Kamina

Ladki : Hat pagal… kamina kaisa nam hai..

Ladka : 2 Ghante sath bhaith ja,,

khud bolegi..pura kamina hai…

Baap : Beta teri girlfriend hai..

Beta : Nahi …

Baap :Aaj Kal to sabki hoti hai..

thoda social bano..

Beta (Sarmate Huye) : Waise ek hai..

Baap (Thappadh lagatte huye) : Nalayak Isse ki wajah se fail huwa hai tu

Pappu apne dost se : Kyaa baat hai,

aajkal tumhari girlfriend hamesha chup rehti hai???

Dost : Actually, ek din jab hum dono photo click karwa rahe the,

to photographer ne meri gf ko keh diya ki jab aap chup rehti hai,

to ekdum karishma kapoor ki tarha lagti ho..

He - tum ladkiya vidai ke time etna roti kyu ho?

She- jab tu jayega na bina salary ke dusre ke ghar ka kaam karne toh tu bhi royega😂😂😂😜

Bhikaari santa se : sahab 10 rupee de do, chai peeni hai

Santa : Chai to sirf 5 ki aati hai

Bhikaari : Girlfriend bhi piyegi

Santa : Bhikaari ne bhi gf bana li

Bhikaari : Nahi sahab, girlfriend ne bhikaari bana diya

भारत मे सिर्फ 1% लडकियां ही क्रिकेट, टेनिस, हॉकी, बैडमिन्टन जैसे खेल खेलती हैं,… बाकी 99% लडकीयां पत्नी बनकर , पती की जिंदगी से खेलती हैं।।

कुछ पुरुष कंफ्यूज थे कि महिला दिवस तो होता है
लेकिन पुरुष दिवस होता है या नहीं ?

तो उठो महापुरुषों आपका दिवस आ गया है –

“1 मई” को “मजदूर दिवस”

लड़कियों और लड़कों का सबसे बड़ा अंतर:

लड़कियाँ red कलर की लिपस्टिक के 20 shades में भी
आसानी से अंतर बता सकती हैं
और

लड़के शैम्पू की बजाये कंडिशनर से नहा लेंगे और
बोलेंगे....
' कुण ल्यायो है. र ओ शैम्पू...झाग ई कोनी चढ़े!!!'

What is a Girl????
Jo kisi shadi me jane se pehle,
face wash
face stick
conceler
eye shadow
mascara
eye liner
lipstick
lipgloss
lip pencil
face cream
face powder
blush on
kaajal
nail polish
body spray
perfume
Aur sath me heel or accha sa dress pehn ne ke bad,
apni frndz se kahe...
Arre yar jaldi-jaldi me kuch kiya hi nhi.
&
What a boy????
Jo shadi me jane se pehle apne dost ko call kr k puche,
'Oye nahana hai k nhi??'
Friend reply- Pagal hai??
Tere baap ki shaadi thodi na hai...
Pagal mooh dho k aaja
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👍👍👍👍👍👍👍