Jokes | चुटकुले

Teacher:Bachon wada kro kabhi sharab,cigrette nahi piyo ge
Bachey:Nahi piyenge
Teacher:Girls ka peecha nai karoge
Bachey:Nahi karenge
Teacher:Unn par awaaze nai kaso ge
Bachey: nahi kasenge
Teacher:Watan par zindigi qurbaan karo ge
Bachey:Kardenge,aesi zindigi ka karna bhi kya hai..

Boy to girl in romantic mood'Mug sa Shadi karoo gi?'
She reply 'dakhee thi achi film hay'

Pars Chori Honey k Baad Larki Ka Reaction
Gareeb Larki : O Mere Pesay
Ameer Larki : O Mera Credit Card
Khubsurat Larki : O Shit Os Mein To Mere Boyfriend Ki Tasveer Thi.

A 60 years old bachelor advertises his Zaoorat-e-rishta
after a month he got a letter
'mian sahib' iss umar mein RISHTA nahi FARISHTAY aata hein.

Boy to girl'Yaar aag kaal shahre sa texiya katam hoo gayee hay'
She reply ' kiya kare bai Riksha jo chalne shoroo hoo gaye hay'

What did shivaji say to bruce lee when he met him?
' tu karate main marathe'.

BROTHER: BAHN MERE DOST AYE HAI CHAI BANA DO
SISTER: NAHI ME NAHI BANA RAHI
BROTHER: BANA DE JAB TERE YAAR AYENGE TAB ME BANA DOUNGA

3 boys where going on a motor cycle. policeman gives hand to stop sardar shouted oye pehle hi teen bhete hai tu kaha bethega...!

Aik aadmi jungle se guzar raha tha
A Churail stops him & says:
Hoo Hoo Haa Ha Ha, mai Churail hoon,
Aadmi:janta hoon, teri 1 behan mere ghar main hai.

Devdas says to Paro: aik sham mera naam ker do.
Paro : ja ja main kahan or tu kahan.
Devdas:itna garoor tu CHAND ko bhi nahin hai.
Paro:kase hota CHAND per dagh jo hain.
Devdas called his son(CHAND):Tu aaj phir nahi nahea... .

aik adimi ne apni wife ko khat likha'is mahene salary k badley 100 kiss bhej raha hoon.wife ne jawab diya 'app ki salray k badley 100 kiss miley,hisaab bhej rahi hoon.1.doodh wala 2 kiss mea maan giya 2.teacher ko 7 kiss deni pari,3.sabzi wala 7 kiss mea nahi maana isliye 9 deni pari.4makaan malik to rooz 6-7 kiss le jata hay.app fiker nahi kerna,mere pass abhi lag bhag 30,40 kiss or hain.MAHINA ARAM SE KAT JAEY GA

Kisi VAKEEL s pyar mat karna vo kahega'I OBJECT' Kisi DOCTOR S pyar mat karna vo kahega 'NEXT' Pyar karna TEACHER Se kahega'DO IT 5 Times'

Rizwan: Doctor please help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz sunai deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Rizwan: Phone per.

When u fall in love there is no power to stop u,
But only one power that can stop u?
Guess what????
'Abbey di juttian'..

curcuit- hey mammu papad aur jhapat mein kya fark hai
MAMMu- nahi pata
curcuit- to kha ke dekhle pata chal jayega

aj ki taza khabar 10 ko bewkoof banaya. . .
plz press down 4 details. . ..
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Ab ki taza khabar 11 ko bewkoof banaya...

Child: Mom is bar saray patakhay hum is shop say lain gay,
Mom: Beta yeh tu girls hostel hai,
Child: Papa tu kahtay hain k sari phuljhariyan yahin rahti hain.

MAMMU-ye chand to raat mein nikalta hai aj din mein kaise nikal gaya
GIRL-ullu to raaat mein bolta hai aaj din mein kaise bol pada`

Do khoosrey kahin jaa rahey they unn mien se ek neechey gir gya tu dusri ne usey uthatey huey kaha UTHO BEHAN MARD BANO..

Ramlal, Bagwan say: Bahgwan mujhy dukh de, dard de, tension de, mujay pagal banady mery pachey kutty laga de.Bahgwan bat kat ker aby sale ek line mein kiyon nahee bolta tuj ko biwi chaie.

Why r Doctor''s prescriptions imposible 2 read?Bcoz they hve an exclusive msg only 4 d chemist-''Maine patient ko loot liya,ab teri baari hai''. Cheer up.Smile.

Life before marriage is AIRTEL-aisi azadi aur kaha! After marriage is HUTCH- whenever go network follows u. but after 5 years life is notreachable

boy & girl of 5th class asking there teacher: kia bachoon ke bachey hotey hein? teacher replied: nhi. boy to girl: dekha tum aisey hi dar rehi thi.

boy- lagta hai hum dono ek sath nhi rah sakte
girl- kya mere papa se mile the
boy- nhi mai tumhari choti bhen se mila tha.

Ques...Bharat ka sabse bada pralay ka din kaun sa hoga.?
Ans...Jis din rakhi ---*---
aur friendship day ---!!---
ek saath padega

Wife: kaash main newspaper hoti dinbhar tumhare hathon me rehti
Hus: meri bhi yahi dua hai rab se issi bahane her din nayi nayi to milti.

PUNJAB POLICE ka koi jawab nahi, kal 1 BIHARI talab me naha raha tha to ek POLICEwala kehta :- chal oye bahar aa k kapde pahen, teri talashi leni hai...

Ek aadmi ki wife ka rang kaala thha, ek din vo peeli saree pehenke apne pathi se puchi, main kaisi lag rahi hoon? hus:Jaise koyla ki factory mein aag lagi ho.

Ravan had 20 eyes but he sighted only one woman!
You have only 2 eyes.......
But you sight every woman. Now tellme asali Ravan kaun?

Mobile repair krne walay ko loose motion ho jaye to wo kaisey explain karega? Doctr sahab subah se missed calls aa rahi hain,outgoing main taklif ho rhi ha.Subah se naye naye ringtone baj rahe hain. or pait main balance nahin bach raha, jitna b recharge kro utna kharach ho rha hai

kal main ne hawksbay per dekkha, 4 addmi ne eik saat sumander main chalang lagaye magar sirf eik ke baal gheley howe
ye kase mumkin hain?
baqi 3 ganje they

Mashooka: Lagta hai meri aankh mein kuch gir gaya, dekho to.
Mashook: Ek tinka dikh to raha hai, kyon na usey wahin rahne diya jaye main doobonga to sahara dega