dialogues for cast:

Yeh malum hona chahiye ki mard kab peeta hai, kya peeta hai, kaise peeta hai ... yeh jaankari rakhna Bharatiya naari ka sabse important duty hai

Duniya yeh gol hai, andhar se hole hai, rupaiya ka mol hai, baki sab jhol hai ... income ho unda toh patni maare danda ... jeevan ki gaadi bhanvar mein hai, bada problem hai bhaiya ... kyun ki aamdani atthani, kharcha rupaiya

Keep it up ... nahi toh ek ghup, seedha up

Jaise ek ghar mein do kitchen nahi hote hai na ... vaise ek ghar mein do brain nahi hone chahiye

Agar tujh mein dum hai saaki toh Qutub Minar ko hilake dikha ... agar dum nahi hai toh mere naal beht, do goont maar ... aur Qutub Minar ko hilta dekh

Aye main Shankar dada ... baat karne nahi ka zyada ... poora ka poora aadmi ka kar doonga aadha

Aaj apna pehla mulaqat, khane ke liye daal bhat ... khana khale aaj mere saath, khana khale bill ka kya baat

Auron se poora fees leta hoon ... magar tum se pachas ki jagah tees leta hoon

Main haddi nahi hoon hadda hoon ... apne daddy ka dadda hoon ... divorce karane ka adda hoon

Hum court mein dimaag se lade hai toh Baazigar ka Shah Rukh Khan hoon ... mukka laat se lade hai toh Judwaa ka Salman Khan hoon ... aur jazbaat se lade hai toh Sarfarosh ka Aamir Khan hoon

Is naari ki aaisi tarkari banata hoon ... ke sarkari gaadi mujhe izzat se lene aaye

Hasee nahi hai toh is duniya mein kuch bhi nahi hai ... haste raho, haste raho, haste raho

Gaadi mein aur biwi mein kya farak hai yaar ... chalte chalte gaadi bighad jaati hai, behte behte biwi bighad jaati hai

Makkai ki roti sambhar se khayenge ... Dharmendra Hema ke mafit hum bhi shaadi banayenge

Petrol ka daam badta hai litre ke hisaab se ... auto waala kaise chalayega meter ke hisaab se

Vapas karde mera meter mujhko ... nahi toh ek jhappad mein bhej doonga Punjab tujhko

Main tere saath lagane ko tayaar hoon saat chakkar ... kyun ki mera dil bechain hai tere dil se lene ko takkar

Na main hoon nikamma, na tu hai nikammi ... shaadi karke hum dono banenge daddy aur mummy

Ungli mat kar mere ko mohabbat ke beech mein ... nahi toh dafna doonga tere ko Juhu ke beach mein

Zindabad, murdabad ... Hyderabad, Ahmedabad ... aaise mein yeh gareeb toh ho jaaye na barbaad

Yeh kaun hai yaar ... chalu episode mein commercial break ki tarah beech mein aa jata hai

Aap achche achchon ko hila daalte hai ... naak ke baal jala daalte hai

Maine tumhe samjha tha badam, nikle moongphali ... ab bol Jai Bajrang Bali aur todh us tapori ki nali

Yeh meri Laila hai ... hum inke Majnu hai ... yeh choli hai toh hum inke daaman hai ... yeh phool hai toh hum aangan hai

Munna mobile kaan pe lagta hai, toh sab sun leta hai ... jab aankh ki TV kholta hai, toh sab dekh leta hai

Chokri samajh ke chhod raha hoon ... doobara nazar aayi na toh Sridevi ka poster bana ke deewar pe chipka doonga

Bhai logon ka nikal jaata hai oil ... police ki bandh ho jaati hai file ... naam hai Munna mobile

Yeh aadmi hai ki mutton ki dukaan

Badshah ke paas badshah nahi aayega toh kya ghulam aayega

Aurat 420 nahi, 840 hai ... aur mera aurat malum hai 1680

Tareef us khuda ki jisne hum sabko banaya hai ... zara aapko yeda banaya, humko teda banaya hai

Kapde jitne chote hote hain ... kaamyabi utni hi badi hoti hai