dialogues for cast:

Agar yeh maan gayi toh doli sajake leke jayenge ... aur agar na maani toh uthake leke jayenge

Guess what an orgasm is called in Hindi ladies ... "charam sukh"

Zindagi mein khoob galatiyan karni chahiye aur unki saza bhi paani chahiye ... magar apni, kisi aur ki nahi ... jab tak galatiyan nahi karoge toh apni kahani kaise likhoge

Mat samajhna ki main chai nahi pani kam hoon ... main phataka nahi bomb hoon

Mat samajhna ki haath dikhage rok lega BST hoon ... main tera khoon choos loonga EST hoon

Akeli ladki na doodh ke patele ki tarah hoti hai ... mauka dekhkar koi na koi billa mooh maarne ki koshish zaroor karega

Tumhari girlfriend bhootiya hai saale

Aye kidhar pe bhi de ... par sar pe nahi

Haath ki lakeerein bhi kamaal karti hai ... mutthi mein toh rehti hai par kaabu mein nahi

Jung mein aisa hi hota hai ... kayi bekasoor maare jaate hai ... lekin jung mein sivah jung ke aur kuch mayine nahi rakhta

Saand, seedi, sanyasi ... jinse bacho toh bhogo Kaashi

Hero vardi se nahi ... iraade se bante hai

Brother to my left, brother to my right ... together we stand, together we fight

Kaam tab khatam hota hai jab woh theek hota hai ... lagta nahi hai

Ranbhoomi mein girne wale Rajput kabhi marte nahi ... amar ho jaate hai

Ladki apne aap mein hi ek paushtik aahar hoti hai ... jise dekhne ke baad kisi tonic ya chyawanprash ki zaroorat nahi padti

Saalon se tayaar kiye gaye ghode daud nahi paate ... aur kabhi kabhi langde ghode bhi race jeet jaate hai

Jab kisi bewakoof ko poorna aanshik roop se kisi laundiya ke prem mein duboya jaata hai ... toh ladki ki maangein ladkon ke jeb ke bhaar se dugni ho jaati hai

Hindi filmon ka paikhana kuch is tarah hota hai ... ki koi bhi, kuch bhi, kabhi bhi kar sakta hai

Ladki ke paas aansun nahi brahmastra hota hai ... jahan girati hai wahin qayamat dhaati hai

Aashiq aur waqt ki badi hi dushmani hai ... jab insaan aashiq ban jaata hai toh waqt kat'ta nahi hai

Hamari bewakoofi thi joh unse dil lagaya tha ... zamane se begaari thi unhe apna banaya tha ... jinhe humne haar samjha tha gala apna sajane ko ... ur woh kaala naag ban baithe hum hi ko kaat khane ko

Tumse jeete jee pyar kiya aur pyar karte hi mar gayi ... isse kehte hai pyar

Self-respect ke bagair zindagi aur dahi ke bagair parathe ... achhe nahi lagte

Har mind blowing kahani ke peeche na ... kuch bahut hi bure decisions hote hai

Aap India se toh bahar aa gaye ... par Indian baap ka attitude aapse bahar nahi aaya

Is Navratri mein aisa jaadu hai ... kisiko jaadu jaisa feel nahi hota

Pyar ka problem kya hai na ... ki jab tak us mein pagalpan na ho ... woh pyar hi nahi

Hum lakh chupaye pyar magar duniya ko pata chal jayega ... lekin chup chupke milne se milne ka maza toh aayega

(Zyada smart mat ban) - Bahut mehnat karta hoon smart ban'ne ki ... shakal achhi nahi hai na

Pee leete hai zehar vaadi ki sari nafraton ka ... kuch moorkhon ko jhelte hai ... Shankar Shankar khelte hai

Nahin hoga yeh sangam, phir chahe pralay kyun na aaye