dialogues for cast:

Heera banne se toh behtar hai ki patthar banoo ... tarasha jaonga toh devta kehlaonga

Parbat bola main bada main bada main bada ... sar ooncha kiye sarhad par khada ... bakht bola tu kaise bada ... tere shikhar par toh bhagwan Shankar khada

Main har daur mein har nasal ke kaatil dekhe ... main mohabbat hoon meri umar badi hai yaaron

Ravan bola main bada main bada main bada ... Navagraha mere singhasan ke neeche pada ... bakht bola tu kaika bada ... tu toh che mahina Bali ki kankh mein pada

Naag bola main bada main bada ... Shiv Shankar ke gale mein pada ... bakht bola tu kaise bada ... tere phan pe toh Kanhaiya khada

Yeh duniya ek bus stop hai aur ladki ek bus ... peeche bhaago toh saala chute jaati hai ... wahin khade raho samne se doosri aati hai

Abhe hata saavan ki ghata ... kha, khuja, bati bhujake soja nintakle pintukle ... mandi pe khareli hai aunty baja rahi hai baar-baar ghanti ... kulla ghumake paschim ko palat le ... bahut ho gaya phutle, vatle, shaana ban kya?

If you take bath in ghar ka bathroom ... ghar ki izzat ghar ke andhar ... if you take bath in nadi khulam-khula ... ghar ki izzat on road

Maine iske saath saat phere liye the ... magar yeh saat kadam bhi hamare saath nahi chal payi

Hamari ragon mein hamari maa ka doodh aur shudh Gangajal beh raha hai

Zindagi mein jitne chahe dushman bana lena ... magar kabhi kisi ko apna dost nahi banana ... kyun ki dost ek aisa naag hai jis logon ko peekar jeeta hai ... ek din apna saara zehar us hi logon mein bhar deta hai

Chai, cigarette, cheroot, beedi, paan, zarda, tambaku, brandy, whiskey yah rum ... in sab cheezo ke paale hi nahi maine gham

No underwear in this world can live without nada and no nada in this world can live without underwear ... because they are inseparable, they love each other, they are incomplete without each other ... that's why they have to live together ... ek saath Dhobi Ghat par dhulne ke liye jaate hai, ek saath sookhte hai aur doobara maile hokar Dhobi Ghat par chale jaate hai ... underwear aur nada se duniya ko ekta ka sabak lena chahiye

Raaz chahe pati ka ho ya patni ka ... agar usse dono ke beech khol diya jaye toh badapan hota hai ... aur chupaya jaye toh dokha hota hai

Har modh pe mile jaate hai humdard hazaron ... shayad meri basti mein adakaar bahut hai

Style marna mera kaam ... kyun ki Rajinikanth mera naam

Dekh is panje ko ... desh bhakti, wafaadari, khuddari, sachai aur mardaangi ka yeh panja agar bhoole se tere thopde par pada na ... toh teri bateesi bahar nikal jayegi

Joh log baimaani ke bazaar mein khud kaudiyon ke daam bikke ho na ... woh doosron ki wafaadari ki keemat nahi lagate

Yahan par garmi bahut zyada hai ... main apni AC BC DC car mein jaakar beheta hoon

Duniya mera ghar hai, bus stand mera adda hai, jab mann kare aa jana, Raju mera naam hai ... aur pyar se log mujhe bulate hain ... coolie no. 1

Sach toh yahi hai Sir ... ki aaj kal log sach darr darr kar hi bolte hain

Sachchai ke liye kisi bhi cheez ko kurbaan kiya ja sakta hai ... magar kisi bhi cheez ke liye sachchai ko kurbaan nahin kiya ja sakta

Budh, Ashok aur Gandhi ke is desh mein rehne waale hum log ... ahinsa ke pujari zaroor hain ... magar buzdil nahin

Is desh ki mitti ke ghar kahi baar toote hain ... magar is desh ki mitti ka mard kabhi nahin toota hai

Jis tarah mazab-e-islam mein haraam hai suvar khana ... jis tarah hindu dharam mein paap hai gaye khana ... in sabse bada gunaah hai ... mard hokar kisi aurat ke jism ki kamai khana

Bahut kuch paane ke chakkar mein kabhi kabhi insaan sab kuch kho beheta hai

Agar mere maa baap ko kuch hua na ... kaat daloonga

Agar aap log yeh chahte hai ... ki aap logon ki khuddi ko mittane ke liye agar gundon ki khudai bhi aa jaye aur mitta na sake ... toh aap logon ko khuddar banna padega

Gundon ka rakhail kabhi gareebon ka rakhwaala nahi ban sakta

Mere nasson mein khoon ke saath saath barood bhi behta hai ... aur aaj tujhe is barood ke dhamake bhi sunne padenge

Tum ghadi ki keemat toh jaante ho ... magar waqt ki keemat nahi jaante

Woh shaadi hi kya teri dawat nahi jis mein ... aur woh aag hi kya teri soorat nahi jis mein