dialogues for cast:

Lakshmi darwaaze par hoti hai aur badnaseeb insaan mooh dhone gaya hota hai ... lekin yahan toh saala yeh hugne gaya tha

Apne dukhon ka khadhhar road ab khatam hone jarela hai ... aur khushiyon ka flyover aane jarela hai

Yahan sadak par bheek mil jaati hai, chokri mil jaati hai ... naukri waukri nahi milti

Ek baar joh humne tarkaari pakka li ... ungliyan chaat chaatke khaye Bihari ho ya Bengali

Is aashiq ki sachi mohabbat kubool karke tu lele yeh gulaab ... phir tujhe apne haathon se pakaake khilaonga shahi galouti aur tandoor kabab

Kaun khada hai, kaun adda hai ... aye Manoranjana meri jaan, yeh bhootnath aaj phir tumhare peeche pada hai

Mumbai mein khaya, Mumbai mein piya, Mumbai mein jaga, Mumbai mein soya ... aur Vada Pav ki burai karke tera dil ek pal bhi na roya

Leave my red rose you bloody red bullies ... varna tum sabka red red blood flow hoga in all the gallis

Tumhara face football se tennis ball kyun ban gaya?

Yeh show business hai ... is mein joh dikhta hai woh bikta hai ... lekin woh kahan dikhta hai isse tay hota hai ki woh kitne mein bikta hai

Hum mein di pyar ki sazaa ... aur khud ladki ke saath maar rahe hai mazaa

Aaj raat uski shaadi hui hai aur thodi der mein manayega honeymoon ... woh bhi night se lekar afternoon

Ek baar joh biwi ke saamne jhuka ... samjho jhukta hi chala gaya

Har patni bidaai ke waqt rone ka dhong karti hai ... phir poori zindagi pati ko rulati hain

Aye Brian Lara ... chal ho ja nau do gyarah

Aye kisne ki hai ungli ... kaun hai hamare beech mein Ganguly?

Tu marega nahi ... tu sadega!

Usne kaha ki karna mujhe phone ... humne kaha hum aapke hai kaun?

Aatma udh gayi chhodkar shareer purana ... didi tera devar deewana, kudiyon ko dale dana

Le pakad khambha ... do ghoont mein tujhe dikhne lagegi Menaka aur Rambha

Yeh zindagi ke mele duniya mein kam na honge ... of course hum na honge, almost hum na honge, at the most hum na honge

Ab ishq waalon ki duniya hogi tehas-nehas ... jab ghar ghar pahunchega yeh MMS

Maine tujhko pyar kiya, tere baap ne mujhko peeta ... tann ki shakti, mann ki shakti Bournvita

Yeh dharti roh rahi hai, yeh aasman roh raha hai ... nonsense yeh sab kya ho raha hai?

Gents kapde seene mein main failure hoon ... issi liye main ladies tailor hoon

Haadse batakar nahi hote

Zindagi ka koi bharosa nahi hai ... lekin ek baat ka bharosa hai ... life insurance ka

London ka mausam aur London ki ladkiyan inka koi bharosa nahi hai ... yeh kabhi bhi rang badalte rehte hai

Matlab nikal gaya toh pehchante hi nahi ... ladki kya mili hum mein jaante hi nahi

Thappa ko ishq ne bana diya langda ... varna woh bhi karta disco aur bhangra

Pizza ke tukde hote hai toh pet bharta hai ... aur jab pyar ke tukde hote hai toh aashiq marta hai

Aam aadmi ka naam sirf do hi baar aa sakta hai ... ek toh baap ke paise se shaadi ke card pe ... aur doosri baar mufat mein marne ke baad shok samachar mein