dialogues for cast:

Har kutte ka din aata hai ... mera bhi aayega

Mehnat se sirf pasina nikalta hai ... paisa nahi

Aadmi apne aap se bhaag sakta hai ... apni kismat se nahi

Jis din haar jaoonga ... duniya chhod doonga

Choti moti machliya pakadne se kya hoga ... chalo koi bada haath maro

Ram Chandra ji keh gaye Siya se aisa kalyug aayega ... bhale bure ki jaanch bhi ek din humko credit card dilwayega ... kaho toh tumhare chehre ka badal de hum position ... yeh hai Bachchan Pandey ka Ganga kinare wala tashan

Kaan-puriya bhasha mein hello bole hai hum tumka

Joh baat hamari samajh mein nahi aati hai ... hum usse beizzati samajhte hai

Shaant, lady Bheem, shaant

Face hai bhola ... andar se bomb ka gola ... dil mein dhamaka kar gayi yaar

Asal king woh hota hai ... joh apne liye nahin doosron ke liye lade

Besharami aur imaandari farak kuch nahi haunda hai ... farak sirf sunne waale de dil vich haunda hai

Jahan pyar hota hai, wahan naraazgi nahi ... umeed hoti hai

London ... bebe Punjab jaisa hi hai ... bus farak aina hai ki London mein Punjabi zyada hai

Jab tak haar nahi hoti na ... tab tak aadmi jeeta hua rehta hai

Ek Catholic aurat Pradhan Mantri ki kursi ek Sikh ke liye chod deti hai ... aur ek Sikh Pradhan Mantri pad ki shapath ek Muslim Rashtrapati se leta hai ... us desh ki bhag daud sambhalne ke liye jisme assi pratishad log Hindu hai

That's a sexy name and I must say that's a sexy frame

Desh se door rehta hoon ... lekin desh ko apne dil ke kareeb rakhta hoon

Yeh lo khao ... aur apne bachcho ko bhi khilao ... taki woh hari bhari poty karen

Tere hoothon ki muskurahat ki hifazat hum karenge ... tere aankhon se behte huye aasoon ki bagawat hum karenge

Itna susu laate kahan se ho tum?

Iske mooh mein pehdaishi supari hai ... yeh totla hai

Amir aadmi pandhra minute mein apne kapde badalta hai, aadhe ghante mein apna ghar badalta hai, ek ghante mein apna dhanda badalta hai ... aur do ghante mein apni biwi badalta hai

Pachtava bahut aasaan hai ... lekin prayashchit karna bahut mushkil

Zindagi mein kuch aise rishte ban jaate hai ... jinhe hum samajhte toh hai, lekin samajhna nahi chahte

Oonchai par pahunch kar hi hum, jeevan ke naye raaston ko dekh paate hai

Kehte hain baarish ke baad ki dhoop bahut khoobsurat hoti hai

Pyar mein shak ki koi jagah nahi hoti hai ... jahan pyar hota hai, wahan sirf pyar hota hai ... sirf pyar

Sapne aur haqeeqat mein sirf palak khulne aur band hone ka farak hota hai ... palak band toh sapna, khuli toh haqeeqat

Pyar mein sab kuch aasaan hota hai

Tum ladkiyan bhi na badi chalaak hoti ho ... jaanti sab ho lekin humse sunna chahti ho

Mangetar ek aaisi suvidha hai jisse woh har sukh milta hai joh hum mein biwi se milta hai ... lekin biwi se joh dukh milta hai woh hum mein mangetar se zara sa bhi nahi milta