dialogues for cast:

Har koi apni biwi ko pyar toh karta hi hai ... aur na bhi karta ho toh karne ki acting toh karta hi hai

Saboot aur saza jaise jacha aur bacha ... tandurust jacha toh mazboot bacha

Log kehte hai ki shaadi ke baad zimmedari badh jaati hai ... asli zimmedari toh saali divorce ke baad badhti hai ... yeh koi nahi batata

(Main tera sar phod doongi) ... Arre phod de chahe gaud mein rakh ... ab toh mundi bhi tumhari hai aur munda bhi tumhara

Sunday ko uthke phone tatol-tatolke aaise dekh raha hai baar baar ... jaise Katrina Kaif nikalne waali hai phone se

Ek relationship mein pade huye aadmi ka dimaag nichhodke agar aap dekhe ... toh aapko balti bharke ch*tiyapa milega

Aadmi ka dimaag jeevan ka gyan sookne ke liye bana hai ... lekin kuch ch*tiye isse auraton ka ch*tiyapa sookne ke liye istemaal karte hai

Zyada chabar chabar aur buri khabar ... Chabuki ko dono pasand nahi

Chaar kandhe arthi ke, kursi ke chaar paaye ... joh chahiye woh soch lo, kahe durjan Kabirai

Saare shareer par maar aur ladai mein haar ... mujhe dono pasand nahi hai

Main woh agjar hoon joh apne shikaar ko apni phoonkar se kheenchkar bina chabaye nighal jaata hoon

Kehte hai ki sachai ki hamesha jeet hoti hai ... par burai kabhi haarti nahi

Hakuna matata ... mere jeevan mein sirf raas, garba aur batata

Joh bhabhiyon se kare pyar ... woh shaadi se kare hamesha inkaar

Jab sulphate, oxygen, nitrogen aur hydrogen in chaaron ko ek cylinder mein bhar do na ... toh choola nahi ghar jalta hai ... blast hota hai blast

Kehte hai doodh ka jala chaas bhi phoonk phoonkar peeta hai ... lekin aadmi ka waqt bura ho toh ice-cream se bhi mooh jal jaata hai

Shaadi kitna bhi dukh de ... kehte usse "Shubh Vivah" hi hai

Woh joh dar-badar ghoomte rehte hai ... woh ya koi kahani bhulana chahte hai ya dhoondna ... ya dono

Hum sab apne apne raaz ke shikaar hote hai

Bura waqt koi jagah nahi hoti jahan se aap bachke nikal sakte hai ... bura waqt aapke saath saath chalta hai ... aur jitna hi aap usse bhaagne ki koshish karte hai ... utna hi woh aapki taraf badhta hua nazar aata hai

Woh baatein joh hum kisi ko bata nahi sakte ... tanha toh woh baatein hum mein banati hai

Hum jism nahi, rooh ko bas mein karne ka shauk rakhte hai ... ujaalon mein nahi, andheron mein savarte hai

Tere is chehre pe main sanam marta hoon ... toot na jaye dil, main sanam darta hoon

Yeh ajeeb sa khela hai ... haan aur na ka mela hai ... shakkar ka daana kabhi karela hai ... kabhi Savita, kabhi Sunita, kabhi Bela hai

Second best pe line maaro yaar ... patne ke chances zyada hote hai

Chota Chetan dekhne aaya tha ya Chota Chetan bada karne aaya tha

You are my Mr. Right ... but I need your body tight

Pyar karne waale kabhi darte nahi ... joh darte hai woh pyar karte nahi

Jab ghee seedhi ungli se na nikle toh ghee chamach se nikaal lo ... kyun ki har jagah ungli nahi ki jaati

Pyar mein pada aadmi aksar apni aukaat se zyada bada kaam kar jaata hai

Jab hum log sach-much hawai jahaz mein behetke udhenge ... toh inki toh patloon agwaade se geeli aur pichwaade se peeli ho jayegi

Crime mein personal touch aa jaye na ... crime passionate ho jaata hai