dialogues for cast:

Jitna talk time hai utna bol

Duniya mein har cheez badalti hai ... mausam, rishtey, naseeb

Loan aur shaadi ek jaise hai ... loan liya toh chukao, shaadi kiya toh nibhao

Informers police waale ke teesre kaan hote hai

Tumhare aur mere beech sirf ek hi cheez ho sakti hai ... maaro ya marro

Aadmi khatam ... toh files khatam

Tum logo ke bheje mein baat toh jaati nahi hai ... sirf goli jaati hai

Kayde mein rahega toh fayde mein rahega

Agar aap miss world mein khadi ho gayi na ... toh 1st, 2nd, 3rd ka title aap hi ko milega

Kehte hai waqt har zakhm bhar deta hai ... magar waqt hi mera zakhm hai

Isko toh electrician hona chahiye tha ... har baat pe fuse udhta hai saale ka

Mumbai nagariya, maya ki nagariya ... idhar har type ka aadmi milta hai ... aur har aadmi ka alag alag type se vaat lagta hai

Tera get well soon ho jayega Mamu

Apun ke saath kuch khunass hai kya ... kaiko sab khudkhushi waale idea derela hai

Apun ke pass Bapu hai Mamu!

Apun ke bheje mein saala chemical locha hai

Bole toh Gandhigiri zindabad!

Jab dono gaal pe padh jaye toh kya karneka ... yeh Bapu ne nahin kaha apun ko

Desh toh apna ho gaya hai ... lekin log paraye ho gaye hain

Sita Ram, Radhe Kishan yeh misaalen hai bhagwan ki ... insaano ki agar deni hai misaal toh dena Shaadi No. 1 ki

Aaj raviwar hai is liye tum log bach gaye ho ... lekin yeh na samjho ki roz Sunday hai ... aaj Ghasitaram ke pedhe khalo ... kal se toh khane Lakhwinder ke dande hai

Gas ho jaye khatam toh jala lo chula ... shehar mein swayamvar kyun kare jab bagal mein ho dulha

Choona jamke padna chahiye, chahe paan ho Banaras ya Kolkate ka ... saboot tagda hona chahiye, chahe thank you bolna pade kisi bhi ullu de pathe da

Jab ghar pe ho sakta hai zukaam ka ilaaj toh kyun dhoonde kisi doctor ka address ... ki farak penda hai ki ilaaj kare Munnabhai ya M.B.B.S

Eent ka jawab patthar ... gudh ka jawab shakkar ... aur sajan ko sabak sikhana ho toh chalao dooja chakkar

Yeh ghar hai ya veerana ... na aadmi, na uski jaat ka thikana

Jaise kamino ki pechaan jail mein piste hue chakki ko hoti hai ... vaise apne jijo ki pehchaan Lakhwinder Singh Lakha urf Lucky ko hoti hai

Honi ko kaun taal sakta hai ... joh hona hai wohi hoga ... bachche ke diaper jitne bhi badalo ... geela toh woh karega bichauna

Jiski ek biwi uska bhi bada naam hai ... washing machine ghar te lalo, te dhobi da ki kaam hai

Jab cycle pe behto ho toh chalana padta hai pedal ... agar duniya mein aaye ho toh punya karo, ki fayda cheque aur medal

Daag jaisa ho kameez pe, woh nikalta hai Nirma ya Rin se ... joh aaya hai karke mooh kala, woh nikalta hai dustbin se

Titanic kab ki doob chuki hai varna us mein bithakar pyar se bhejta yeh bhaiya ... train ki ticket book ho chuki hai, biwi ghar se nikal de na toh chale jaana karte "Chaiyya Chaiyya"