dialogues for cast:

Yeh democracy nahi ... dum ghootne waali cracy hai

Neem ke paan kadve hai ... Pavan Babu bhadave hai

Filmy struggler us message ki tarah hai ... jise saala jitna bhi delete karo utna aur zyada aate hai

Golf mein stick mazboot honi chahiye aur nishana sateek ... taaki ball seedha hole mein jaaye

Bhoot log bhootiyapanti karne aa rahe hai

I'm a chooza ... pure chooza!

Tum yahan mujhe support karne aayi ho ... ki visphoot karne aayi ho

Zinda aadmi ki baat pe koi vishvas nahi karta ... magar marte huye aadmi ki baat sab sunte hai

Dilli ki ladki hoon ... dhakke aur ragad ke beech ka farak jaanti hoon

Hum do jism ek jaan hai ... unhi se mera savera, meri har ek shyam hai ... unhi ke charano mein mere charon dhaam hai

Ek sainik jeete ji toh samman paata hai ... lekin shaheed hone ke baad bhi usse ekkees toppon ki salaami milti hai

Imaandari na bazaar mein khareedi jaati hai aur na hi kagaz par likhi koi aaisi pankti hai jisse yaad karlo ... imaandari ek sanskar hai

Har love story mein ek hero hota hai, ek heroine aur ek villain

Gunahgar hamesha wahi lautta hai jahan usne gunah kiya hai ... aur aashiq hamesha wahi lautta hai jahan usne aashiqui ki hai

Shaitan ki ek khasiyat hai ... apne hi janaze mein shamil hona uski fitrat hai ... nafrat uska hathyar, gussa uska barood ... humdardi usse aati nahi aur pyar koi usse karta nahi

Sach bolega ek baar maroonga ... jhoot bola toh iktaalis bar maroonga

Paisa aadmi ka style badal deta hai

Jab tak seh sakte the seh liye ... jab bardasht nahi hua toh thok diya

Jab maine usse khaas nigah-e-naaz se dekha ... aaina fir usne naye andaz se dekha

Cool banne ke chakkar mein kulfi jamne waali hai aaj

Har computer ki wahich kahani ... kahin porn star toh kahin sapnon ki rani

Hum mein toh lagta hai ki life ek ice cream ... taste karoge toh bhi pighlegi, waste karoge toh bhi pighlegi ... so taste it, don't waste it ... enjoy your life

Jhoparpattiyo mein toh sirf umeedein palti hai ... aur sapne ... sapne toh sirf achche ghar mein hi poore hote hai

Zindagi 50 50 hoti hai ... kabhi haar toh kabhi jeet hoti hai

Aaisi jagah laat marenge na ... ki poori zindagi apni aurat ke paas jaane se gabrayega

Mumbai mein kuch log aane ke liye marte hai ... aur kuch aakar marte hai

Jaise surya ko koi mitta nahi sakta ... ussi tarah se Hindustan ko koi hara nahi sakta

Ramp ka seedha rasta 35mm ke parde tak jaata hai

Hum bajaye toh kaano mein pain ... aur yeh paade bhi toh Tansen

Agar paisa chahiye toh pyar ko bhool jao ... aur pyar chahiye toh paise ko bhool jao

Bhenchod eklauti aaisi gaali hai joh hamare desh ke har language mein, har culture mein is tarah gul-mili hai ... jaise whiskey mein soda

Dost aur mauke baar baar nahi aate