Jokes | चुटकुले

Sath chutne se rishte nahi tuta karte,
Waqt ki dundh se lamhe nahi tuta karte,
Log kehte hai mera sapna tut gaya,
Tutati need hai sapne nahi tuta karte…!!

Agar ho waqt to ek mulakat kijiyega,
Dil kuch kahena chahe to kuch bbat kijiyega,
Yu to muskil he fursat nikalna,
Par 1 lamha miljaye to hame yaad kijiyega…!!

Aankho main bhar loge to kante se chubhenge,
Ye ashk to palkon per sajane ke liye hain.

Khuda jaane ye husn waale chashma kyon lagate hain,
Inhone kiya hai kya aisa jo ye aankhe churate hain.

Aankho main bhar loge to kante se chubhenge,
Ye ashk to palkon per sajane ke liye hain.

Khuda jaane ye husn waale chashma kyon lagate hain,
Inhone kiya hai kya aisa jo ye aankhe churate hain.

Chale aao hum AAPKO Yaad karte H,
ye wo gunah h JO hum bar-bar karte He,
jala k DIL ME hasrato k Chirag App ka,
or aapke msg ka intezar krte hai.

Hum apne aap per gurur nahi karte,
kisi ko kuch bhi karne per majboor nahi karte,
magar jisne ek bar apna kah diya hame,
marte dum tk use dil se door nhI krte.Gn

Kuch Rishte Anjane Me Ban Jate He
Pehle Dil Se Fir Zindgi Se Jud Jate He
Kehte Hai Us Daur Ko Dosti
Jisme Anjane Na Jane Kab Apne Ban Jate hai.

Chand ki chandani,
Basant ki bahar.
Phoolo ki khushbu,
Apno ka pyar.
Mubarak ho aapko Navratri ka 'TYOHAR' JAI MATA DI

Nurse : Mubarak ho aap ke ghar ladka paida hua hai.
Santa : Wah g wah kya technology hai, Biwi meri hospital hai,
aur bacha mere ghar paida hua hai!!!

Height of jhatka :
“A boy after spending great time with GF,
Saw a guy’s photo in her bag
Asked – Is he ur X BF?
GF kissed him said no dear thats me before surgery…;)

Jo dete hai ladki ko tohfe,
Wo late hai unki shaadi me sofe,

Jo jate hai unke piche,
Wo aate hai caro ke neeche,

Jo kehte hai JAANU,
Wahi bante hai baacho ke MAMU!!!

A policeman to his son : Tumhara result aacha nahi aaya.
Aaj se tumhara khelna aur TV dekhna band.

Beta : Ye 50 rupay pakdo aur ess baat ko yaheen dabado

Moti ladki bade mein du ladka bat kar rahi hai

1st ladka:Uski weight key hoga?

2nd ladka: uski ek pas ki weight jodi 24 kg, to uski dono ki weight 48 kg, plus karo skeletan ki weight.

Ek ladka ko kuch log nangto kia aur uski land ke picture akaye aur bola jao

Uha ek ladki betha hai uski kach se attested karke le ao.

Ladka gaya:pls attested ki dijie.

Ladki: maine original copy ke bina attested nahi karung

Ladka ek ladki se offer kart waqt

Ladka: I love you.

Ladki: kayse ab soch lia class four ki ek ladki khali hai.

Vul number dial karne se:

Ladka:I love you janu.

Ladki ki maa:oh, really.

Ladka: aaj rat a jao na,pls.
Us samay line kat gaya.

Ladki phone kia aur bola hi janu kayse ho?

Ladka: meine jo bat kia to kissee?

Ladka: meine itni mana karne ki bad vi tum cigerett piti ho?Tum janti nahi hai cigarette
Meri dusman hay.

Ladki:janta hu, iss liey dushman ko pura kar rag kar deti hu.

Do ladki aur ek ladka alap kar rahi hai.

1st ladki: Is desh ki economics jhul rahi hai,

2nd ladki: do vag mein vag ho gaya,

Ladka: ko shakt hat mein dharna parega

Ek ladka ek ladki se is tada offer kadti hai

Ladka: I love u I like u I love u very much meri jaan.

Ladki: baatki andar ektu space dena jara.

Ladki der se an ke bad ladka bola
Ajki bikal jara der se suru hua.

Ladka: wo sab samay uski cousin ke saath miste hai.

Guru: aap uske doubt karte hai?

Ladka: no no kabhi nahi

Guru: toh thik kia, payar ki bich mein doubt nahi hona parta hai.

Ladki: wo abhi vi phone karti hai

Guru: ap uski phone dharti hai?

Ladki: keya karti maine uski phone ane ki bad sab bhul jata hu.

Guru: tab tum thik kia. Payar to iske kehte hai,dilki aarman sunna parega.

Ladki: wo abhi vi phone karti hai

Guru: ap uski phone dharti hai?

Ladki: nahi.

Guru: thik ki, wo apki saath jo kia uski saaja ye hai.

Ladka:agar tum chaho to meine chand se hamari bari bangaonge

Ladki:sorry, admi bina kisi patang par meri koi interest nahi hai.

Ladki:humko aankh duto na ho kar ek ho to keyaa hota tha?

Ladka: Shanti se aankh marna jata tha.

Ladka:meine basa ja kar jara dhayanse parata hu, mere kach aapki beti parega to wo A+ paega

Ladki ki baap: meri beti ko tum parane ke badle tum payar sikhaya us liee wo aajvi S.S.C pass nahi kar paya

Ladka:wo to uski galti hai,maine to payar se paraya…

ladka: aaj tumhare mann itni khush hai keyaa baat hai? Statistic office pe gayaa tha keya?

Ladki: aur tel marne ki jarurat nahi hai. Jao parlar ki bill bhar ke aao.
Joke
Ladki ke bap:Nargis tum laut aao,tumhare maa bahut bemar hai.

Ladke ki pati:Nargis tum kabhi nahi laut aana,tumko le ane par baba ki ye chal hai

Ladka:meine tumko chand ke saath tulna nahi karunga.

Ladki:kiun?

Ladka:kiun ki usme chand ki kalank aur vi bar jayata hai.

Ladka:Taka ne Taka anti hai aur paysa keyaa anti hai?

Ladki:Taka ki vangti.

Ladka:maine tumhare boyfriend banna chahta hu,tumhara koi apatti hai?

Ladki:are keyaa bolti ho. Tum to bohot funny ho.iss liee tum mere bohot assa friend ho. Mere boyfriend Sakib ye sunega to bohot moja payega.