Jokes | चुटकुले

Santa sing ka 20 saal bad bacha hua.
Wo udas ho gaya.


Banta : Yaar udas kion ho?
Santa : 20 sal baad bacha huwa wo bhi itna sa.

Santa: Express kitne baje ki hai?

TT:1 baje

Santa: local?

TT:9 baje

Santa: maalgadi?

TT:12 baje

TT:jana kahan hai?

Santa: Patri pe potti karni hai...!!

1st child-mere papa bhahut darpok hai.2nd child-kaise?ist child-jab bhi road cross karte hai meri ungli pakad lete hai.

Pathan Watchman ne Sher (Lion) ka pinjra khula chhor diya..

Officer: Tumne sher ka pinjra lock nahi kya?

Pathan: Kya zaroorat hai,
Usko kon chori karega?

Santa se kissi ne poocha k santa ji agar app ko garmi lagy to app
kya karo gay?
santa bola jenab hum a.c k pass ja k beth jain gay,
admai ne bola jenab agar phir bhi appko garmi lagy to kya karo gay?
santa bola, jenab tab hum a.c on kar lain gay.

Ek sharabi bus me sawar hua
seat pr bethe molvi ne kaha k tum jhannum k raste par ja rahe ho.
Sharabi chila kar bola
O ruko ruko

me galat bus me beth gaya hon

santa : sholay ke waqt kitne aadmi the...








banta : mujhe kya pata shooting ke samy mai wahan nahi tha

American: Humare kutte to bomb dhondh lete ha

Japani:HAMARI machliyan to foot ball khel lete ha

Pakistani:Ye to kuch bi ni hamare to ghadhe bi sms perh lete ha

Larka: Tum kitni haseen ho,

Larki: choro na

Larka: tumhari ankhain kitni haseen hain,

Larki: choro na tum be

Larka: itni dair se chor hi to raha hoØn.

Banta- Tumhara Bhai Gora Aur Tum Kale Kaise Ho?

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Santa- Kyo K.. Me Raat Ko Paida Hua Tha Aur Wo Subah Hua Tha..!!

99 saal ka Buddha mar k swarg pahuncha!
Apsaraon ka Dance dekh kar bahut pachhtaya!
Bola- Baba Raamdev k chakkar me na padta to kabka yahan aa gaya hota!!

Ox- ae kya bolti tu
Cow- Ae kya mein bolu
Ox- sun
Cow- Suna
Ox- ati kya gaushala
Cow- kya kru, a k me saushala
Ox- are mundi hilynge, ghaschabaynge, gobar failaenge or kya

Santa was riding a cycle n hit a girl!
Girl shouted- 'Ghanti nahi maar sakta tha???'
Santa replied- 'Poori cycle to maar di! Ab ghanti alag se maaroon kya!!'

Bas chali, Jhatka laga
1 ladka 1 ladki par ja gira.
Ladki boli, Badtamez! Kya kar rahe ho??
Ladka bola, Vidyapeeth University se BAMS!!

Santa To Bill Gates:- Tussi Bade Pagal Ho!!
Bill Gates:- How????????
Sardar:- Surname Gates Rakha Hai............ Aur Bussiness Windows.... Ka Karte Ho????

Boy 2 Girl- Frindship karogi.?
Girl- Mere Ghar wale allow nahi karte.
Boy- Ha, Mere Ghar walo ne to jaise mujhe Aashiqui Society ki Membership Dila rakhi ha

Doctor: App k bachhe ki taang katni pdegi


Santa:Pehle btana tha me bache ke new shoes nhi leta

What do u cal elephants knee?
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Gajni.
Itna b nahi samjhate.

Bhikhari: Sahib ik rupaiya de do.

Sahib: Kal anna.

Bhikhari: Iss kal kal ke chakkar mein iss colony mein mere lakhon rupaiye fasse hue hai!

Do arabi ek dosre ko arabi main galiyan de rahe tahe
qareeb se guzarte hue pathan ne un se kaha:
Bhaiyon! humare liye bhi dua karna

Aadmi Apne Bachay Se
Baita Sharab Mat Peena Wrna
Yeh Jo 2 Aadmi Ja Rahay Hain Tumhain
4 Nazar Ayeinge.
Bacha: Magar Abbu Wo To 1 Aadmi Hai..

SANTA: (biwi se) Koi aisi baat kaho mujhse ke mere pair zameen par na rahe.
BIWI: Tujhe phansi kyu nahi laga lende

Teacher : you are late today,
school 7 baje lag jata hai or tum ab aa rahe ho???

Student : sir aap mer fikar na kia karen
aap school shuru karwa dia karen.

santa- 1+1=3 karna ho to? do ki shadhi karwa do

banta- 1+1=11 karna ho to? do ka nikha karva do

Sardar: Agr 1 Hathi Sui k Surakh me se guzarne ki koshish kr rha ho

to usy rokny k lie kia krna chahye?

Pathan: Us ki dum pe girah laga do, phans jae ga…

Santa : pehle me apni biwi ko BA karwaunga fir MA fir Phd karwaunga fir badiya si naukri dilwaunga.

Banta : fir acha sa rishta dekh k uski shaadi bhi krwa diyo

Zardari MILK SHOP per gaya

Zardari= Bhai 1 kilo Doodh dena kuttay k liye

Doodh wala= Yaheen piyo ge
Ya
Pack kardon?

man knocks d door.
a 10yr old boy cum wid
cigrate & beer in othr.
man:beta papa ghar pe hai
boy:bhutni k,mujhe dekh k lagta,papa ghar pe honge?

Kisi ko board main number barhwane hon

to mujhe Naam or roll number Sms Kardain.
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Mai dua kronga..:->

MALIK:abhi tak tujse machar nahi mare ? mere kano me gunguna rahe hain.
NOKAR: sahab maine machar maar diye hai ye to unki biwiyaan hain jo vidhwa ho ke ro rahi hai

Joke of the day:
LALU bus k uper khada tha. Raste me TUFAAN aya or unki DHOTI ud Gyi, Phir BIJLI KADKI...
LALU - Ek to hamaar dhoti Cheen li, Upar se Sasura Fotu Lewat hai..

dad apnay betay ki kamyabi per khush ho kar bola,
mang beta jo mangna hay,
beta: dad sochnay kay leyae 1 min dain.
Thori dair baad beta bola dad mujhay car chaheay,
dad: beta tum nay 1 min manga tha woh mene deydiyah
ab aish karo