Jokes | चुटकुले

Grl-Will u marry me?
Santa-No,Hmare me shadi relatives me hi hoti he,
Maa ne papa se ki,Didi ne jijaji se or me b apni BV se hi kruga

Santa horse par ja raha tha.

Voh red light jump karta hai.

Police vala siti bajata hai.

Santa ghode ki tail opar kar ke kehata hai: Le karle number note.

Teachar-2 aisi cheezo k naam batao,jinhe nashte me nhi kha skte
Santa-Sir,LUNCH AUR DINNER

beta: maa meri kya keemat hai, maa: beta tu to lakho ka hai, Beta: to lako mein se 5 rupaye dena, mujhe ice cream khani hai.

santa--lalaji detol soap hai..
lalji-- hai..
santa-- to haath dhokar 2 kg chinni de do...

mangal laddu kah raha tha.
deepu:kya khah rahe ho ?
mangal:jahar khah raha hu ,tumhe kya?
deepu:lao mujhe bhi khane do,tumhare bager mai bhi kya karuga.

Santa ka RADIO kharab ho gaya, khol k dekha to ander CHUHA mara hua tha, dekh ke santa bola: AE lo, SINGER to mar gaya..

chotu:papa,aaj school me bilkul bhi mar nahi padi.
papa:sabash beta, aase hi roz mar se bacha karo.
chotu:roz roz bum ki aapwah se chutti thori milegi.

Mental hospital ka doctor apni wife ko kehta hai: Pagalon ke saath reh reh kar mein adha pagal to ho hi gaya hoon.

Wife: Kabhi koi kaam poora bhi kar liya karo.

bahut sare chiti ek talab me naha rahi thi. tabhi ek hathi talab me kuud gaya .ek chiti hathi pe chad gaya ,tabhi ek chiti ne kaha duba de saale ko.

Doctor: aap ko brain tumour hai.

santa: Oh, that's GREAT !!.

Doctor: Aap itni khush kiyun hai?

santa: Iss se yeh sabit hota hai ke mere paas brain hai

Why boys think that love mariage is beter thn arrange marige/???????

B'coz A Known bhootni is better than unknowm chudail

lallu: Mera kid bohot fast english bolta hai.

ballu: Beta bolke dikha.

Kid: english english english english english...

Ek bar ek ladke ko kute ne kaat liya to uski ma kute ke malik ke pass chali gayi or boli tere kute ne mere bete ko kata hain , to usne jawab diya to kya hua tum apne bete ko kaho wo mere kute ko kaat lega hisab barabar ho jayega.

ek bar ek admi nanga naha raha the tha dusra bola abe tere kapde kaha gaye usne kaha abe me naha raha hu na kapde gile ho jayenge

a pig & pigi go to a restorent pig orderd-1 malai potty, 1-sahi potty, 1-kadai potty 1-potty mixed. then pigi said-plz pyaz mat dalna smell aati hai

Ques : shadi me dulhe ke saath
Baarati kyun jate hain ? ? ?
Ans :- kyunki bade kehte hain ki kisiki khushi mein
Jao na jao par musibat me zarur jana chahiye..
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Ek bar 300 pathan ship main travel kar rahe tahe,
Lekin sare k sare mar gaye.
Kaise?
Nothing serious.
Ship bich main kharab hogai.
To dhakka dene niche utar gaye.

Hathi aur chenti ka prem vivah hua,
Dusre din hathi mar gaya,
Cheenti boli “wah re mohabbat”
Ek din ka pyar mila,
Aur sari umar kabar khodne ka kaam mila

Teacher : Bunty ! Tumhara Sara Homework Galat Hai.
Aakhir Iska Kya Kaaran (Reason) Hai ??

Bunty : Ji, Kaaran To Papa Hi Bata Sakte Hain.

Sardar sharab peeta ro raha tha.
Sharab wala : kyon ro rahe ho?
Sardar : aur kiya karon? Main jis larki ka naam bhulana chata hoon. Us ka naam yaad he nahi aa raha

Santa Water-Tank Saaf Karne Ke Liye Apne Ghar Ki Chhat Par Gaya.
Water-Tank Par Ek Kauwa (Crow) Baitha Tha.

Santa Jaldi Se Neeche Utra Aur Seedhi (ladder) Hata Lee,
Aur Kauwe Se Bola, Beta, Main To Neeche Utar Gaya, Ab Bina Seedhi Ke Tu Neeche Kaise Utrega ??

A Muslim Couple Came Out of Court After Divorce,

Husband - Ab Humare Beech Koyi Rishta Nahi,
Vife - Aisaa Mat Bolo,
Hum Ab Bhi, Mausere Bhaai Behan To Hai...

Ek admi bhagwan se : Bhagwan g aap kab khush hote hain?

Bhagwan : jab Indian flim main koi vilan larki ko pakarta hai.

Aur larki kahti hai, Please mujhe bhagwan k liye chor do.

PASSENGER:tumne mere jeb me haath kyu dala?

SANTA: muje Machis chahi thi

PASSENGER: tum muz se maag shakte the

SANTA: mei ajnabi se baat nahi karta

Customer: ye cow kitney ki he?
Cow saler: 30,000 ki or 2 saal mai 1 bacha deti he.
Customer: or ye cow kitne ki he?
Cow saler: 10,000 ki or ye 2 saal mai 5 bachey deti he.
Customer: ye cow itni sasti kion he jabke ye tou saal mai 5 bachey deti he?
Cow saler: sahab CHARACTER bhi koi cheez hoti he.

Bhikhari Ne Fon Kia - Hello Taj Hotel,
Ha Ji
1 Pizza
1 Biryani
1 RasMalai Bhej Do
Taj - Kiske Nam Se Bheju Sir,

Bhikari - Allah K Nam Pe Bhej Do..

James Bond once met a dog in a jungle and said:

?i am Bond,
JAMES BOND?

Dog bites him and said:

?i am Kutta,
PAGAL KUTTA?

computer teacher askeda kid: what r d 3 version of java ? kid says: Mar java, Mit java , lut java ishqme dil kya jan v tera nam kar java.

Ye Badalti Rutai’n
Ye Dubte Huey Arman
Ye Terti Hui Musafatai’n
Ye Jalte Diye
Ye Pighalte Huey Badan
Ye Bhujti Shame’n
Ye Kch Or Nhi Srf
.
.
.
KESC Ki Beghairti Hy … ;->

Murga aur Murgi ki Love Story.

Murga: I Love You, I can do anything for you.

Murgi: You can do anything for me?????????

Murga: Yes ofcourse...........>>>>>>>>>>

Murgi: Ok, to ek anda de k dikhao..........

Santa sheeshe k samne beth kar study kar raha tha

why?

coz of 3 reasons

1. dobara revision na karna pare...

2. apne uper nazar rahe...

&

3. He likes combine study....