Jokes | चुटकुले

Shadi k Dosre Din Beti apni maa Se:
Aj meri Unse Laraei Hogai,

Maa:
Beta Shadi me Jhagry tu Hotay Rehty hen.

Beti:
Wo tu Thek hy Par Ab Laash ka kya karen??...

Do Aadmi
First: Tere Pita Kya Karte Hai.?
Second: Logon Ko Ashirvad Dete Hai.
First: Kya Bhagwan Hai.,.,??
Second: Nahi, Bhikhari Hai

Ek aadmi university k Chokidaar se:
Ye University Kaisi hai..?

Chokidaar:
Zabardast...!
Mainey M.B.A yahin kiya
Aur
Foran Nokri be Mil gayi

IPL JUNOON-
WIFE TV PAR MATCH DEKH RAHI THI.

HUSBAND SMART BAN KE AAAYAA AUR BOLA-
'DARLING MEKESA LAG RAHA HU?'

TABHI WIFE ZORSE CHILLAY

CHAKKA!!!!!!!!!

Boy to girl-: AAJ tumne belt gutne par kyon bandhi hai. GIRL maine mummy se promise kiya hai ki tumhe BELT SE NICHE TOUCH nahi karne dungi.

Ek swimmer to his frnd: ma pani ke andr ek ghanty tk rh skata hun,kia tum aisa kr skte ho?
Frnd: ma boht din pani k andr rh skta hun
swimer:wo kaise?
Frnd:kyun k mujy swimming nhi ati.

MASTI
Teacher: Tum school kyu aate ho? Nikhil: Vidhya ke liye sir. Teacher: Phir tum soo kyu rahe ho? Student: Aaj Vidya nahi aayi hai isliye.

Mungerilal ko 20 saal baad bachha hua!
Wo udaas ho gaya!
Naurangilal- Yaar udaas kyun hai?
Mungerilal- Yaar! 20 saal baad bachha hua wo bhi itna sa??

Ladkiwale Hamko Ladka Pasand Hai Shadi Kab Krni Hai? Ladkewale Abhi To Ladka Study Kar Raha Hai, Ladkiwale Hamari Ladki Koun Si Bandariy H Jo Kitab Faad Degi

Circuit : Bhai jail ko Hindi mey Hawalat kyun kehte hai ?



Bhai: Boley to jail mein Khane ko Hawa aur Laat hi milte hai.

ustaad pathan se pakistan k kitny soobay hay?
pathan (4)
ustaad sahabash un k naam batao pathan: mashrik, maghrib, shumal, junoob.

Banta Ki Maa- Puttar Tujhay Yahan Se Jalindhar Janay Mein 1 Din Laga
Aur Wapas Aanay Mein 3 Din Wo B Naye Car Se?

Banta : Maa Ye Car Bananay Wale Bhi Pagal Hein Janay K Liay 4 Gear
Or Aanay Ke Liay Sirf 1 (Reverse) Gear.

Unse Pyar Karke Kismat Jaag Gayi; Wah-Waah-

Unse Pyar Karke Kismat Jaag Gayi; Wah Waah-!

Itne Love Letter Post Kiye Ki Woh POSTMAN Ke Saath Bhag Gayi...

Wife-Aap Bahut Mote Ho Gaye Ho
Husband-Tum Be To Kitni Moti Ho Gayi Ho
Wife-Me To Maa Ban Ne Wali Hu
Husband-Me Be To Baap Ban Ne Wala Hu
5 days, 23 hours ago by via web

Boy:'Dear! Look into my eyes,what do you see? Tell honestly' Girl:'true love' Boy:'O True love wali ! ! ! Machar najar nahi aya kya? Jaldi nikal.'..

Gabbar:
ae murgi tune ek anda kyu diya. tujhe darr nahi lagta
Murgi:
sardar darr lagta hai tabhi to ek diya hai warna main to murga hu

Ek bus mein bahut bheed hone ke karan ek ladki ne ek ladke se kaha, “are bhaijaan jara side toh dena” Ladka: Are kyon konfuse karti hai ya toh bhai bol ya jaan bol

1 Murgi market gai ek ande ki dukan pe aur kaha 1 Anda dena.

Shopkeepar: Ande ka kya krogi?

Murgi: Mere pati ne kaha ke 2 Rs ke liye tum apna figure kharab mat karo.

In park, a boy & girl were sitting!
2 dogs kissed each other..
Boy- Jaanu agar tum bura na mano, to main bhi..
Girl- Ok! Par sambhalkar! Kutta kaat lega.. ;-)

gabbr --- o murgi tujhe 2 ande dene ko kaha tha tune 1 q diya ..tujhe mujhse dar nhi lagta ????


murgi -- dar ki vajh se hi to 1 anda diya hai sakar .......warna mai to murga hu

Sardar 1- Train me yaar raat bhar neend nahi aayi.. Upar ki seat mili thi!


Sardar 2- To exchange karna tha!


Sardar 1- Kisse karta? Neeche ki seat pe koi nahi tha.. ;-)

janwaro ki party m chuha char peg lagakr set tha

billi -- agar aaj party na hoti to mai tujhe kha jati

chuha-- ja chali ja nhi to log khenge ki daru p kar janani koot di ..

KBC me Amitabh- Wat's ur father's name??

Santa- [kuch bola nahi]

Amitabh- Jawaab dijiye!

Santa- Sir option to dijiye!! ;-)

Jyotishi :santa ka hath dekhar-
Beta tum Bahut padoge
Santa:Saale Pad to main teen saal se raha ,yeh bata ki pass kab hunga

Ek sardar was running with his cycle.

Person- Y ru running cd cycle? U can sit & ride d cycle!

Sardar- Arrey bahut jaldi mein hoon! Baithne tak ki bhi fursat nahi hai.. ;-)

Duniya Ki Her Kali 1 Din Phool Ban Jati Hai,
Lekin Wo Konsi Kali Hai Jo Kabhi B Phool Nahi Banti?
.

.

“CHIP-KALI” / /
<:))))))))==< /

Dev das ne paro ke ghar ke samne susu kar dia.
paro ne pucha:ye tumne kya kiya
dev bola:gum itna jyada tha ki aansu ne apna rasta badal diya

Tumhare brain ki X-Ray report aa gayi hai.
10g mitti 10g kankar-pathar 25 type k kidi-mkode,5g makdi k jale n 500g bhusa.
kamal hai...!

1 Admi ka inteqal ho gya.
Uska dost us ki BV k paas aaya Or bola:
Kya main us ki jagah le sakta hoon?
BV:Mujhe koi Etraz nahi
QABRASTAN walon se pooch lo..=P;->

1 pathan ne jali note banaya orr Quaid-e-azam ki topi bhol gaya
Jab dukandar ko dia tou dukandar ne kaha:
Iski tou topi nahi hay.

Pathan Bola:
Ye Quaid-e-azam lala ki garmion ki tasveer hay...=P;->

Santa: Main ek baar jungle mein susu karne gaya toh waha per Sher tha.
Banta: Phir kya hua?

Santa: Maine Sher se kaha, “Pehle tum karlo, mera toh ho gaya hai.”

Wife to husband:Uttho raat ke 2 baje he,
Husband to wife:Itni raat ko q uthaya
Wife to husband:Aapne neend ki goli nahi li