Jokes | चुटकुले

Maa: Beta ya Kar Rahe Ho??
Beta: Padh Raha Hoon.
Maa: Shabash! Kya Padh Rahe Ho??
Beta: Ji, Film Shole Ki Story..

1 ladka ladki ka picha kr raha tha
girl-Tumhe pata hai piche meri maa aa rahi hai
Boy-hum to khandani aashik hai teri maa kay piche mera baap bhi aa raha hai

aaj mere paas mobile hai, no hai, battery hai, balance hai, tumahre pass kya hai? agar hai koi msg to bhejo.. agar nahi to mobile becho.

Pathan: ye bakray ki raan kidhar gai?
Qasai: Bakra langra tha
Pathan: r Dil?
Qasai:Wo bakri legai
Ptan:Baba dimagh to hoga?
Qasai:Sorry Lala.
Bakra b PATHAN tha.

SANTA-KYU RO RAHE HO
BANTA- MERI MURGI MAR GAYI
SANTA- TO KYA HUYA MERA BAAP BHI MARA THA
LEKIN ME NHI ROYA
BANTA -ABE TERA BAAP KYA ANDE DETA THA

Pathan sharab peeta raha or rota raha.

Ek admi ne pucha:
'kya huwa khan sahab?'

Pathan: 'jis larki ka nam bhulana chahta hon uska nam yad nahi aa raha&qu

Wife:- Bakray ki zubaan pakaai ha khaao gay?
Husbnd: Main moonh se nikli huvi cheez nahi khata.,.
Wife: To phir anda bana doon?:-P

Santa:'Maths vich fail kyu hoya'..

SON:1st day Tchr kendi 5+3=8..

Agle din kendi 6+2=8..

fir kendi 4+4=8
ullu di pathi khud confusd hai menu ki padaeygi..:-

Molana sahab jumay k khutbe mein: Ajkal cable pe channel bohot kharab aa rahe hen!Pathan: Nahi, hamare ghar to saaf aa rahe hain. Aap apna taar check karo..

Husband gusse may:aaj tmne ye kesa khana bnaya hy?
Bilkul Gobar jesa!!

Wife: uff Mairey khudaia!! Iss Admi ne kia kia chakkha huwa hai.;-)

wife:mere irade bade nek hai, aap 1000 me se 1 hai.
Husband: dimag ke hum bhi don hai,pehle ye bata kamini,baki ke 999 kaun hai....

Biwi pathan se:

khan hum ko hamara salgirah me chain gift karna.

pathan: wai qurban!
Laalay ki jaan!

zaroor dega batao

CYCLE KA DE
YA moter cycle KA?..

Santa= Aisi ki tesi kab hoti hai.
Kab lagta hai ki ab to bhagwan v nahi bacha saakta.
Banta= Jab loose motion lage ho aur pajame ka naala na khule...

1 bibi janat ma gai to farishty se boli.
'mari shadi kisi molvi nal hi karayo..'
farishta: 'sabr kr la bibi, pehly kisi molvi nu janat vich aan te de'

Santa 60th B'day Bnta-Ye Cake Pe bulb Q lagaya he? Snta-60 Candls lagane Me Mushkil ho Rhi thi Isliye 60Watt k bulb laga diye

Girl: Teri judai mein neend urti hai, jan jati hai, chein khota hai, dil rota hai...!

Boy: Check karwaley bibi Dengi Virus me bhi aesa hi hota hai!

2 bache jungle me potty kar rahe the. Achanak sher aa gaya1st-chotu, tu dar raha hai?2nd-nahi, main nahi darta 1st-to saale apne dho, mere kyu dho rha hai.

Ek Larka Ghar Dair Se Lauta,

Maa: Kahan Thay.?

Beta: Film Dekhne Gaya Tha,
'MAA DA PYAR'

Maa: Ab oopar Ja k ek Aur Film Dekh...
'peoo DI MAAR'

Pathan mobile company mei job k lye gya
1st question k answer pr hi usay laat maar k bhaga dia


Ques:Which is the most popular network?


Pathan: AL-QAIDA :-D :-D :-P

1 Pthan ka Air Hostes sy jagra hogya Pilot:Sir kia hua? PTHAN:isny hmari chai me Taweez milaya hy Air Hostes:Sir Khuda ka nam len,wo..'Tea Bag'tha..

Geo Tv ka wo konse programs he jin k nam khawateen lene se hich kichati hain?
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'HUM SUB UMEED SE HAIN'.
or

''AAJ RAAT KAMRAN KHAN K SATH''. ('.')

Ik “PATHAN” apnay Ser pe “TOTA” bitha kar ja raha tha,

Rastay main 1 admi ne rok k pucha,

bhai ye konsa janwar hai

“TOTA” bola ”
PATHAN” hai salaa.

Ustaad: Sab se ziada nasha kis cheez mei hota hai?
Shagird: Taleem me...
Ustaad: Wo kaisy
Shagird: Janab,
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Kitaben kholte he neend aa jati hai... :-)

Santa- Ladki ko chidate hue, or sohneo ki Haal chal hai twade?
Ladki-(Gusse me) jo teri bhen ka hai, Santa-(hass ke) wo to maa banne wali hai.

Grandpa: Teri Teachr aa rahi hai.Ja chup jaa. Grandson: Pehle aap chup jao. Aapki maut ke bahane maine do hafton ka leave le rakha hai.

Q:Wo Konsi ek Baat hai jo Hazaroon Saal Pehle bhi Students kehte the,Aj b Kehte hen Or Qayamat tak Kahngay?








Ans:Bus Kal se Parhai Start.

Rat k 3 bje santa k phn per phn aaya=HELLO yahan FATIMA MAHFOOS rahti hai kya? Santa-kutte itni rat ko ager fatima mere pas hoti to kya mahfoos rahti..

Phathan ne ghar ka darwaza ukhara aur kandhay pe rakh k bazar mai gya, ek aadmi ne poocha khan kya dawaza bechna hy?
pathan: nahi yaar taala khulwana hy :)

Bubbli ne ghar se bhag k shadi ki
5 din bad Bubbli rote hove waps aagae
Baap:Ab kyu aai ho?
Bubbli:
Papa wo BMW ka driver nikla
N95 b china wala tha

Jagjit Singh: Ye daulat bhi lelo.. Ye Shaurat bhi lelo. . . Ye daulat b lelo,ye shaurat b lelo... Santa: Ye bechara bahut pareshan hai iski aurat bhi lelo..

1 boy to another:

Yaar tum ne kabhi koi larki phansai hai?

2nd boy!
Yaar larki main ne phansa leni thi pr tum logon ne ye mohalla hi chor diya…! Hahahaha

Sweet insult- 1ladka gadhe k samne gir gaya. 1khubsurat ladki ne dekha aur kaha: apne bade bhai k pair chhuu rahe ho? Ladka: hanji bhabhi ji.