Jokes | चुटकुले

Santa Banta hosptl me ek doctor Se lar rahe the.
doctor:Kya hua?
Santa Banta:Doctr ne operation me orignal Chize nikal kar china ka dal diya.

Maa Bete Se-Uth Jaa Kmbakhat

Dekh Suraj Kab Ka Nikal aya Hai.

Beta-To Kya Hua Mamma
Wo Sota Bhi To Mujhse Pehle hai.

Golu-mere bete ka credit card chori ho
gya
molu-bank ko bataya
golu-nai
chor mere bete se kam kharch krta hai

Customer-Teri Cow Ki 1 Ankh Kharab Hai, Fir Bhi Tu
25,000 Mang Rha He.
Santa- Tuze Cow Dudh Pine K Liye Leni Hai Ya Nain-Matkkane Ke Liye.

athan K Mobile P Raat 2 Baje Phone Aya:
Aap So To Nahi Rahy Thy

Pathan Ghussey Me Bola:


Khabees Ka Bachcha..


Zarori Nahi K


Har Pathan Chowkidaar Ho

a boy went to doctor with ingection on his face.

after checking,
doctor said'girl friend ko bolo lipstick ka brand badle lakme se alergy hai:-]..........

1 day God askd me if u hv 2 choose b/w Luv & Frndshp whum u will choose??

& i just lukd at my frnds nd said-'salo ab to Ladki chunne do'

Bittu Ki Mummy Se Padosan: Janti Ho, Kuch Log Mujhe Meri Beti Ki Saheli Maan Lete Hai.
Bittu: Aunty Kya Apki Beti Abhi Se Apki Umra Ki Lagti hai ?

Santa: Jaldi se machardani de dijiye mujhe bus pakadni hai
Dukandar: Sorry,
mere pass itni badi machardani nahi hai jisme bus pakdi ja sake.

1 Macchar presaan baita tha.2sre ne pucha kya hua?
1st-yaar gajab ho rha h
Chuhedani me chuha,Sabundani me sabun
Mgar macchardani me admi so rha he

Mam:-Hanumaan Kiska Chhora tha?
Student:- Jaat Ka
Mam:-Woh Kaise?
STudent:- Uskay Kaam Jaato walay thay Ladai kisiki , Lugai Kisiki , Poonchh apni Phukwa li.

Jai : Apni Galfrnd k sath Pahli date pr:

Ye Meri Pehli Date H Darling, Agar Koi Galti Ya Kami Reh Jaye,To Mujhe Chota Bhai Samajh Ke Maaf Kar Dena.

Chemist: Is Dawai Se Thik Na Ho 2 Ye Parchi Lekar Fir Aana.
Grahak: Kyo?
Chmst: Mai Ek Baar Fir Doctor Ki Likhai Padhne Ki Koshish Karunga.

MAREEZ: Mujhe Ajeeb Si Bimari Ho Gaee Hai,
Jab Biwi Bolti Hai
Toh Mujhe Kuchh Sunai nahi Deta.
Dr. : Yeh BIMARI nahi ALLAH Ki MEHARBANI hai.

1 Bar Class Me 1 Ladki Gana Gane Lagi
* Jara-Jara Touch Me *
Tabhi 1 Ladka Utha Aur
Use Touch Kiya Fir Bola
Le Ab Himmat H To Aage Ga K Dikha..

Khan:Darling tumhari Zulfo Se khelne ko Jee Chahta
hai.
SHEELA ne Wig Utari Aur kaha: Lo khelo Per de dena Subah Collage Bhi Jana hai !

Santa: Kal Ek Admi Aurat Ko Peet Raha Tha. Maine Kaha Mard Se Lado.
Banta: Fir?
Santa: Jab Mujhe Hosh Aaya 2 Main Hospital Me Tha

SANTA Ki Beti 'LAADO'
Bachhpan Se Japan Mei Thi, Wo Plane se India Aai Pr raaste Se Return Ho Gyi
Q ki Board Lga Tha
''Na Aana Is Desh Meri Laado'

ek Aadmi dusre admi ko peet raha tha Aur khud jor jor se ro raha tha. jab logo ne usse pucha ki tum kyo ro raheho to usne kha- jab mai ise chodunga to ye bhi mujhe ise trah pitega.

Boy:Janu tum ab badal gai ho.
Girl:Why
B:Ab mai tume Kis karta hu to tum ankhe band nai karti
G: Hramkhor pichhli bar band ki thi to purse se100 Rs gayab The.

Boy 2 Girl= tumhara naam Kya h?
Girl=Mina
Girl to Boy tumhara?
Boy=kamina
Girl=jhut mat bolo
Boy=Tu 2min pass me baith k dekh le
Tu ye hi bolgi.

Sonu AXE-EFFECT DEO Laga K Nikla

Uske Pichhe BUDHIYA Padh Gayi

Sonu Ne Company Se Shikayat Ki

Waha Se Reply Aya- Sir Apne Expired Deo Lagaya Hai..

Santa-Mujhe pyar karti ho to kal white suit pahan ke aana

Ladki black pahan ke aayi

Santa-Tu jab jhuki to maine dekh liya ki tu mujhe andar se pyar karti hai.

USA: Hamare dog Fotball khelte hai.
JAPAN: Hamare fish dance Karte hai.

CHINA: Hamare Hathi cycle chalate hai.

INDIA: HAMARE GADHE GOVT CHALAATE Ha

Ek chote bche ne exam sheet pr POTTYkarke teacher ke hath me thama di...

Teacher- ye kya kia..?

Student- sir apne hi kaha tha ki jo aa rha hai wahi kr de...

2 pandito mei ladai ho rhi thi.
Tisre pandit ne aakr pucha kya hua ?
To 1 pandit bola : jb mei lehsun pyaj ni khata to isne mere chiken mei dala Q ?

Nark me bahut se log aram se soo rahe the. .
.
BHAGWAAN - Ye log to nark ki garmi me bhi aram se so rahe hai. .
.
YAMRAAJ -SAALE U.P. se HAI

Medam-kaha se copy ki, kahan h pen?
Boy-jbse tumhe dekha kya copy kya pen
Tere mast-2 do nain mere dil k le gye chain gayab h copy or kho gaye pen

Santa:Y do u prefer prepaid connection over postpaid?
Banta:Prepaid me bahut fayda hai,
isme call k baad bill badhne ki bajaye kam hota hai... ;-)

Ramu-Inn aalu k parantho mein aalu nazar nahin aa rahe hai
Shyamu-Yaar naam par mat ja
Kashmiri pulav mei kabhi kashmir nazar aata hai kya.?

Punjabi shaadi ki party me DJ ne puchha: Kab tak bajaana hai?

Host: 8-10 peg tak baja lo, uske baad to ye sab generator ki aawaz par bhi naach lenge!

Teacher - un do kings ka naam batao jinhone duniya ke logo ko nayi raah pe chalaya.....

Santa - sir



1.SMO KING