Jokes | चुटकुले

Delhi or haryana k logo me kya fark hai
.
.
8 peg pine k bad delhi ka admi gud9ite n sweat dream
haryanvi- ib bta kon sa faltu bolle tha...

Santa Ne Anda Fry Kia To Wo Jal Gya
Murgi Ne Dekh lia
Murgi Ne Santa K
Zor Se Thappad Marte Hue
Kaha:Sale Tujhe Dena Pade To Ehsaas Ho

Santa to Shopkeeper: Tumne Mere Naukar Se Badtamizi Ki.
Shopkeeper: Sorry Sir, Ab Se Aapka Kutta Bhi Aayega To Hum Samjhenge Ki Aap Aaye Hai

Lalu:Murkh admi k biwi bahut sundar hoti hai.
Rabdi:Ap k pas to humre tarif k alawa r kono kaam nahi

Santa:Ye Kela Kitne Ka Hai?
Man:1 rs
Santa:60ps Me Dega?
Man:60ps Me Sirf Chhilka Dunga.
Santa:Le 40ps,Sirf Kela DE

Man-Hamare America mein War ho Gya H
Snta-Hmare India me to roz hi war hota H
Man-wo kaise?
Snta-
SomWar
MangalWar
BudhWar....

Stdnt:madam aap murghi hein kya?

Teachr:Kyun?

Stdnt:aap hamesha muje test mein anda deti hai

Snta Riksha Lekr Road pr Khada Tha
1 Admi Ne Puncha:Bhai Bus Stend Chaloge
Snta:Me to chala jaaungalekin mere Rickshy ka kon khyal Rakhega

Santa:Mere biwi muze bahut marte hay
Banta:to police me complain kar
Sn:O khud POLICE INSPECTOR hay

Boss:mere liye 1 aisa mirror lao jisme mera face achha se dikhai de Santa:Boss Nehi mila me sab dukan gay par sab me mera hi face dikhai dia

Teacher: Agar Electric Invent Nahi Hota To Kya Hota?
Santa: Hume Candle Jala Kar T.V. Dekhna Padta!

Snta: Dr sab hmara bacha ne chabi kha liya h
Dr:Kb?
Snta: 3 mah phle
Dr;Tum 3 mah se kya kr rhe the
Snta:Duplicate chabi use Kar Rha tha

Bnta:tera mobile kaha hy?
Snta:mar gaya

Bn:kaise?
Sn:Pani m gir gaya,Usko tairna nhi aata tha

Banta:En Ladkiyo ke Lips lal Q hote hay?
Santa:Aray yar Ladko ka khun pine se hote honge

Santa Apne Baap Ki Kabar Pe Gya

Or Haal Chal Pucha
Kabar Se Awaz Nehi Ayi

Santa Kabar Pe Likh K Chala Aaya Ki


AISA KAROGE TO KON AYEGA

Santa Swami se-
Sawami ji Aisi biwi ko kya kahenge jo Shareef, Dayalu Sanskari ho,
Sawami 'AFWAHA'

Padosi: Aap Bahut Bahadur Ho
Aapne Uss Chor Ko Itna Mara
Woman: Mujhe Kya Pata Wo Chor Hai Mujhe Laga Mera Pati Thoda Late
Ghar Aaya Hai.

SANTA gave Card 2 Dad on B-day:
Phul Bahut he Gulab Jaisa Koi Nhi Baap to bahut he Ap Jaise Koi Nhi

Snta-Mera Kutta Wafadar He
Roz Akhbar Utha Kr Lata He
Bnta-Isme Wfadari Ki Kya Bat He?

Snta-Wo Padosi Ka Akhbaar Utha Kr Lata Hai.

Angraiz Pathan Se-Whats Ur Name?

Pathan- 'OMER DARAZ KHAN'

Angraiz-Whats Mean Of Ur Name?

Pathan Soch K- 'Long Life khan'

Judge:Tum Dakaiti Dekhte Rhe,Roka Q Nhi

Gawah:Agar Meri Jan Chali Jati To Chasmdid Gawah Kon hota

Chintu: Papa bahot sarif he na mama
Mom: kaise beta.....????
Chintu: Ladki ko dekhte hi 1 ankh band kar lete he...

Banta:Wife agr hsbnd ko naukar samjhe
to hsbnd ko kya krna cahiye?
Santa:Zyda nhi,
2-4 ghar or pakad lene ka

Santa=10 rupaya ka recharge kiye to kitna milta hai?
Shopkeper=7 rupai TALKTIME milta hai
Santa=Thik hai Baki 3 rupai ka choclate do.

Turist:yeh kiska Kankal he???

Santa:Tipu Sultan ka

Turist:Or wo chota wala???


Santa:Ji wo Tipu Sultan ka bachpan ka hai....

Dr.ne Santa se kha
'pani ko boil kr k pya kro'

Santa ne Dr. ko bahut mara ur bola
'Bewakuf etni garmi mai kehta hai k boil pani piyo'.

Teacher-Zindagi Main Aisa Kaam Karo K Aap ka Naam Dunya K Charo'n Kono Me Phel Jaye .

Sardar- ''Aisa Nai Ho Skta''
Kunki
Dunya To Gol h

Santa drives into one way and crosses 'No Entry' board Police: Oye 'No Entry' ka board nehi dekha ? Santa: Mujhe laga ki film ka poster hai

A lucknowi nawab meets Santa..
Nawab-Janab kya me apko ek takleef de sakta hu?
Santa-oye!!kutte kamine hath to lagake dikha hath ukhad dunga

Grl:jb b me
tumre pas
ati hu to tum
CHSMA
pehnte ho
By:Dr ne kha h jb SRDARD aye
to chsma pehen lena

Sir: Film Ghajini Dekh k Aapko Kya Sabak Mila ?

After few min



Student: Sabak ye Mila K Ab Ganje Bhi Maang Nikaal Sakte Hai....

Police:Wada Karo Aage Se Jeb Nhi Katoge

Chor:Mai Wada Karta Hu Ab Aage Se Nhi Pichhe Se Jeb Katunga