Jokes | चुटकुले

B S N L Customer Care
Bittu : Internet bohat slow chal raha hai
Customer Care Girl: Wow! Internet toh chal raha hai na kush raho

Agar Girlfriend H To Valentine Day;
Agar Biwi H To Mahavir Jayanti;
Agar Dono Nahi Toh Hanuman Jayanti;
Aur Dono Hain To Bajirao Mastani!

Father-Beta agar sasural wale
Scooter de to Car magna,
Shop de to Ghar mangna,
Coolar de to AC mangna.
Beta- Papa agar wo Ladki de
to kya sath me uski dusri bahan vi mang lu?

1.Saa
2.Re
3.Ga
4.Maa
5.Paa
6.Dha
7.Nee
8.Saa
Khud Ko Pehchan
Ne K Liye
Kripya 3 Aur 6 Firse DohrAYe.

Mentel hospital ke Operation Theatre me
Medicine tyar
Saman mojod
Doctor mojod
Narsen mojod
Magar pagal
SMS parhne me masrof..

1 Ko girlfriend Naraz Thi,
2 Ko shadi ke liye tayar Thi,
3 Ko Yaaro Baarat Thi,
4 Ko Mast Suhagraat Thi
5 Ko Pyar Ki Barsaat Thi.
Aankh khuli to pata chala sapno ki kali raat Thi.

Android’s versions are named as-

Cupcake,
Donut,
Éclair,
Froyo (frozen yogurt),
Gingerbread,
Honeycomb,
Ice Cream Sandwich,
Jelly Bean,
KitKat
Lollipop
Next: ?? GulabJamun»rasgulla»rasbhari

Apple iPhone 6 launched in India at Rs. 53,500.00
mene papa ko kaha papa mughe iPhone 6 chiye.
Papa ne kaha- beta etne me to 1 bike+5 months ka petrol aa jayega
Mene moka pe choka mara - accha papa to wahe khrid do
Papa Shocked but me Rock........

Santa fouj me bharti hua
2 din bad jung suru ho gai
santa ki topi per goli lagi
santa ne hathiyar phenk kar bola
aqalmand ke liye ishara kafi he.

Pappu bahut speed me Car chala raha tha
to trffic police ne use pakad liya
Pappu- Sir, Mai car chalana sikh raha hu
Police- Bina kisi Teacher ke?
Pappu- jee wo mai'Correspondence Course' kar raha hu na

Dehaati Aurat Cheque Cash karane gai
Clerk- Sign karo
Aurat- Kaise?
Clerk- Jaise Khat k end me likhti ho.
Aurat ne likha-
'TOHAR CHUMMA KE INTEJAR Me, BiiiJLi.!

Pappu : Sir Humara Poty Aaya Hai.
Math Teacher : To Main Kya Karu?
Toilet Chala Jaa.
Pappu : Up Galat Samajhra Sir,
Humara Answer Poty (40) Aaya Hai.

** Attention ** ** Attention **
please...'Lifebuoy'Se Mat Nahaya karo,
.
.
Suna hai Ye 'keedo' ko Maarta Hai..
.
.
OR hum 'Apko'KHONA Nahi Chahte.

Ek aadmi apne aap me kehta hue ja raha tha ki aisi zindagi se toh maut aachi.
Achanak Yamraj aa gaya aur bola “Tumhari jaan lene ka hukm hai”
Aadmi : Lo batao, aab insaan jokes bhi nahi kar sakta hai kya?

How to reduce weight…??
.
First turn your head to the right and then to the left.
.
..
...
....
.....
Repeat this one whenever you have given something to eat!

A father was teaching
the spelling of word “ASSASSINATION”
to his child.
.
He says:
ek Gadha(ASS),
uspar ek aur Gadha(ASS)
jispar Mein(I),
aur mujh par sara Desh(Nation)

Ab har msgs hamari diffrent hogi,
dil ki aawaz dil tak send hogi,
muddat ho gya kisi hasi ka didar kiye,
aur log sochte hai jane hamari kitni girlfrnds hogi

Kitne Tohfe Deti Hai. Ye Mohabbat
.
Bewafai Alag
Judai Alag
Tanhai Alag
Or
Mummy Se Pitai Alag.
'(',')'

Mummy Aram Se Maro
.
.
Aashiq Hon Rajnikant Nai.

Wah boli Love-Pyaar karte ho to uska Proof do, mainne kaha are pagali-crazy,
Facebook - Whatsapp mein mera Profile open karake dekh,
mere status ki saari Property Dilbar tere naam karke rakhi hai.

1 bhikhaari ko Lottery lagi to usane Mandir banavaaya
2 bhikhaari: tune mandir kyun banavaaya?
1 bhikhaari: isake saamane ab main akele hi bhikh maagunga
doosara bhikhaari: solid Investment Life long Tension Free & tax Free,
dost, tu to modi ka bhi Over Take kiya!

Ghadi Ghadi Selfie khichne wali
ladkiyo ke mobile
aab kuch kuch time ke baad khud hi
bol padte hai- chalo muh banao baby
selfie leni hai....
Baby-jara Lipstick aur Fair N lovely
bhi laga le slefie cute aaygi.......new jokes in hindi

Meri lovely GF ka Wedding-Card mila bahut bura laga yaar,
baad me soocha, shaadi me jauga jarur
kyko love apne jagah hai aur
Lazedar Puri-Sabji, Chiken-pulao aur sweets apni jahah

Subah ke shauch ke liye banenge alag Railway Track,
Rail mantraalay ki nai pahal

Blue line bus me khub bhid thi
Conductor-Chacha Gate par kyo khde ho
Bhitar to chalo
Chacha-kyo Bhitar tumne Dari bichha rakhi ha

Santa dialled a phone number.
A computerizd female sweet voice said,
'apke paas paryapt balance nahi hai - Kipaya appna mobile rechage kare'.
Santa: bas janeman tumse baat ho jati hai, itna hi kaafi hai! I LOVE YOU MISS U..phir call karna jaanuuu

JONIYA RE JONIYA.....
Hai Babuji
Chini ka taari
Naa Babuji
Jhooth Bolataari
Naa Babuji
Muhh Khultaari
Haa Haa Haa.

Dost ki shadi me 1 Ladki se mera dil jud gaya
Dost ki shadi me 1 Ladki se mera dil jud gaya
Fir kya?
Me to Evi Evi Evi Evi Lut Gaya!

1 Aadmi Ne Dawat rakha
Or Ghar Se Raat Ko Bakra Chori Kiya,
Dosto K Sath Dawat Ki.
Jab Ghar Pahucha,
Bakra Ghar Me Hi Tha.
Usne Biwi Se Puchha- Bakra Kaha Se Aaya?
Biwi- Bakre to yahi tha
tm Batao, Raat Ko Tum Choro Ki Tarah
KUTTE Ko Kaha Le Kar Gaye The.?

MOSAM SHABAB KA,
NASHA SHARAB KA,
PARDA JANAB KA,
AUR RANG GULAB KA,
IN SAB SE HASEEN,
IN SAB SE LAJAWAB
DEKHO SMS PADNE WALA..




MENDAK TALAAB KA.

Girl - kaun ho tum boy - hasrat tumhari
girl - dekhte kya ho
boy - surat tumari
girl - karte kya ho
boy - pooja tumari
girl - kamate kya ho
boy - 1 nzr tumari
girl - chahte kya ho
boy - mhbbat tmari
girl - pachtaoge
boy - kismat hamari
girl -mai married hu
boy - pehle bol deti, Manhoos Naari.

The heights of Bad Luck A boy and cute girl met last time for their break up. . girl's father N boy's Mother caught them. . Now they are married couple

My dear friends-my hands nevr pain when typing sms jokes 4U, Bcoz.. . . . . I alwys send forwarded sms jokes. Ha..ha...ha. Haso mat!Ye v frwd hi kiya hai..