Jokes | चुटकुले

खाना खाते खाते अचानक पतिदेव बोले,

पति – ये सम्मोहन करना किसे कहते हैं

पत्नी – अरे किसी को अपने वश में करने को ही
सम्मोहन कहते हैं,

पति – चल झूठी,

उसे तो शादी कहते हैं :) :)

Bus me sardar 1 ladki pe ja gira tab ladki boli:Battamiz kya kar rahe ho....
Srdr bola:Ji PUNJAB UNIVERSITY se BCOM kar raha h..

BE, ME, MBA kar k kya karna hai,Aakhir ek din sabko marna hai,Chaar din khushi se kat le dost,kyunki agle jnam me phir nursery se Hi Shuru Karna Hai.

Beti.- gov me foji aaye hai.
Maa- unki niyat kharab hoti hai tu andar aaja.
Beti- ma vo pakistani hai.
Maa- to bakari ko bhi andar lade.

Girl: mom aaj 1 ladke ne mere gal pe kiss kiya.

Mom:tune usko chata mara ya nahi.


Grl:mujhe achanak Gandhiji yaad agaye aur maine dusra gal age kar diya.

Tu sawal nahi ek paheli hai
:
Meri manzil tu nahi teri saheli hai!

Husband aur wife ghumne gaye Raste me ek gadha ghaas kha raha tha, wife boli- dekho tumhara Rishtedar ghaas kha raha hai Namaste karo,
husband- Namaste Sasur ji

Jack:ek din jack bike par apne 2 friends ko bethakr le ja raha tha.
Police:oi stop..
Jack:bola bike par jagah nahi hai ..

Boy-Ro Q rhi ho..
Grl-Mere marks bahut kam aaye h.
Boy-Bata kitne aye h..
Grl-Sirf 90%
Boy-Khuda ka khof kar zalim itne me to 2 ladke pass ho jate

Dosti Karo College Wali Se
Pyar Karo Office Wali Se
Programme Karo Pados Wali Se

Love Karo Dil Wali se

Aur Maar Khao Gharwali se

Bihari Aurat Cheque Cash karane gai
Clerk- Sign karo
Aurat- Kaise?
Clerk- Jaise Khat k end me likhti ho.
Aurat ne likha-
'TOHAR CHUMMA KE INTEJAR Me, BiiiJLi.!

1 terorist ne 1 budhiya k ghar me bomb rakh diya.
Log chillaye- Budhiya bomb h!
Budhiya bomb h!
Budhiya sharmakar boli- DHATT, Wo to me 'JAWANI' me thi. Ha,HA.

5th class ka student apne dost se: Kitna MuskiL H SchooL Ki 'Teacher' Se Pyar Karna,
2 Dost: kyun?

'LOVE-LETTER' Beja Tha...
Home Work Samz Ke Check kar DIA.

1 ladka gadhe k samne gir gaya. 1 khubsurat ladki ne dekha aur kaha,'Apne bade bhai k pair chhu rahe ho?' Ladka bola,'JI BHABHI JI!'

Sir-'Samundar Mein Nimbu ka Ped Ho To Tum Kaise Todoge?'
Santa-'Chidiya Bankar.'
Sir-'Aadmi ko Chidiya Tera Baap banayega!'
Santa-'Samundar Mein Ped Aapka baap lagayega!'

Bihari boy to a girl- 'PHONE NO DEBU HO..??'
Girl-'Tamiz se baat kro.'
Boy-'My dear with due respect I would like to say that PHONE NO. DEBU KA..??!!!!'

1st woman-kuchh suna ya nahi bharat ne hindustan par hamlakardiya hai
2nd woman- hame dar hai ki kahin ek missile mere pe nagir jaye
3rd woman-arre tumsab fikra kyon kartihohum india me rahte hai.

12 Saal K Ladke Ne 20 Saal Ki Ladki Ko Phool Dia

Ladki Ne Kiss Dia
Wo Ghabra K Bhaga

Ladki Ne Pucha:
Kya Hua

Ladka:
Guldasta Le K Aa Raha Hu

अंग्रेज:- हमने चांद पर पानी और बर्फ की खोज
कर ली है...
नन्दन
:- तो हमें अब सिर्फ दारू और नमकीन लेकर
आना है

Gf- I love you.
Boy- Tell me any diffrant style.
Gf- TERE LASH KO AAG LAGANE KAMOKA MERE BETE KO DEGA KYA.

Munna Bhai Ke ghar LADKI hUE.
Circuit- Bhai ab to muhale ke, Sare ladke isko line marenge.
MUNNA- Tu fikar mat kar re, Apun iska naam DIDI rakhenge.

A girl comes late to class

Teacher: Why ru late?

Girl: 1 boy was following me.

Teacher: so what?

Girl: d boy was walking very slowly!

Papa- Beti 12th K Bad Kya Karogi?

Beti- B.B.A Karungi.

Papa- Wat is BBA!

Beti- Boyfriend Ki Bike Pr Aish ..!

Teacher asks children,
what do u wish 2 do in future?
Vinod: I want 2b a doctor.
Deepa: I want 2b a good mother.
Ravi: I want 2 help Deepa

Teacher: Jawani aur
Budhape me farak batao?

Student: Jawani me mobile me “HASEENO”
k numbers hote hai,
Aur Budhape me “HAKEEMO” ke..!

Master ji studnt se bole koi ashiqi wala sher sunao.
Studnt-kutta marta haddi pe,
bhuka marta roti pe,
masterji tumhari do beti hai,
par mai mrta hun choti pe.

In a examination hall,
a girl asks a boy sitting
on d desknxt to her 'mujhe is ans ki starting batade baaki main likh loongi'
boy says...........'THE'

Students k Dard ko University Kya Jane
College K Riwajon ko Parents Kya Jane
Hoti hai Kitni Taqlif 1 Paper Likhne Main
Wo Paper Check Karne Wala Kya Jane….

Movie titles related to engg students:
exams – socha na tha,
classes – kabhi kabhi,
question papers – na tum jano na hum,
copying – yaarana,
maths2 – asambhav,
maths1 – mission impossible,
environmental sciences – pyar mein kabhi kabhi,
1st semester – kuch to hai,
2nd semester – yeh kya ho raha hai,
distinction – kal ho na ho,
1st class – raju bangaya gentleman,
2nd class – dil mange more
fail – phir milenge

Question: Collage Me Ladkiyo Ke Kitne Naam Hote Hai?

Ans: 4
1 Tere Wali
2 Mere Wali
3 Teri bhabhi
4 Meri bhabhi

Teacher: Dhobi ka kutta na ghar ka na ghat ka
ab aisa 1 aur sentence banao..

Student: Sania ka baccha na india ka na pakistan ka!

Father to his son- How was the paper?

Son- bas pehla sawal chut gaya.

Father- acha,aur baki?

Son- 3rd mujhe ata nahi tha,
4th main karna bhul gya,
5th mujhe nazar nahi aya nd 6th paper ki pichli taraf tha meine dekha nahi.

Father gusse me bola- aur 2nd ques?

Son- bas sirf wahi galat hua hai!