Jokes | चुटकुले

Babu apni girlfriend se- darling kal ghar par aa jana koi bhi nahi hoga!
Jab ladki ghar par aati hai to sachmuch koi nahi tha.

Chayewala – bholi si surat aankho me masti dur khadi sarmaye haye haye!!
Ladki- kali si surat hatho me ketli dur khade chilaye chaye-chaye

Ladka : jaaneman is dil me chali aao
Ladki : chapal nikali kya?
Ladka : pagli, ye koi mandir nahi hai, aise hi aa jao.

Ladka ladki ko dekhne gaya,
unko baat krne k liye akele bitha diya
girl-(darte hue)bhaiya aap kitne bhai-behen ho
Boy-abhi tk to 3 the,ab 4 ho gye.

Boy- Bus,train or ladki ek jesi hoti hai,ek jati hai to dusri aa jati hai
Girl- Taxi, Autoriksha or ladke ek jaise hote hai, ek bulao 4 chale
Aate hai..!

Old : pehla pehla pyar hai, aayi bahar hai, aaja more sajan tera
Intazar hai.
New : Duja teja pyar hai, dil bekarar hai, aaja mere sajana verna
Chautha taiyaar hai…!

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
isme 1 missing hai
find it...
2 times padhte ho
sharam nahi aati ?
ABCD me 1 kaha aata hai?

Premika: Aisa Letter Likh Sajna, Meri Umar Beet Jaye Padhne Me....
Premi:(!=!0!>XE~?1!!:E'&A?>#^^E'!$>,'>,'E=*?#:P(+>!*'@&= Le Padhle.....!

1 shrabi roz SHIV mandir pe sir tekta tha.
1 din pujaari ne SHIV ke jagah GANESH murti rakhi,
Shraabi aya dekha bola- Chhotu papa se bolna main aya tha.

Bahut der k baad train chali.Muslim bola_ya Ali ! Hindu bola_ jai bajrang bali.Ek sardar bola_kya Ali,Kya Bali?Ullu k pattho, Train to baju wali Chali

PITA:AGAR TU IS BAAR BHI FAIL HO GAYA TO MUJHE PITA MAT KEHNA.
KUCH DIN BAD
PITA:KYA HUA TERE RESULT KA?
SON:SORRY YAAR RAM PRASAD MAI FAIL HO GAYA.

1 dukhi Aadmi bola-Aisi zindagi se maut achi.
Achnak Yamdut aaya aur bola-'Tumhari jaan lene ka hukm h'
Aadmi-Lo Batao,
Ab Insan Mazak b nahi kar sakta.

Teacher-tum bde hoker kya karoge
Student-shadi..
Teacher-nahi, mera matlab hai kya banoge
Student-dulha..
Teacher-oho,i mean bade hoker kya hasil karoge
student-dulhan!

Ek Murgi Market Gayi aur..
Kaha- Ek Anda Dena..
Dukandar-Tum Anday Ka Kya Karogi??
Murgi- Mere Husband Ne Kaha 2Rs. Ke Liye Apna Figure Kharab Mat Karo.

Wo konsa 1 mazak he Jo salo pehle b studnts karte the,
aaj b karte hai or qayamat tak karte rahenge
?
?
Bahut masti ho gayi yar
ab Kal Se Seriously Padai karnge

Ek aurat:-jab tumhara talak hua tha tab to tumhara ek hi bachcha tha.ab 3 kaise?
Doosri:-who kabhi kabhi maafi mangne aa jate the.

Mareez:-doctor ,mujhe ek serious bimari hai,main jo kuch bhi bolta hoon bhool jata hoon.
Doctor:-aapko ye bimaari kab se hai?
Mareez:-kaun si bimaari?

Student:-sir, kya aap mujhe us kaam ke liye bhi saza denge jo main nahin kiya hai?
Adhyapak:-nahin nahin,bilkul nahin.
Student:-sir, maine aaj ka homework nahin kiya hai.

Judge:-pichi baar bhi tum 500 rupyee churaane ke ilzaam main pakde gaye the.
Chor:-huzur,500 rupyee s kitne din kaam chalaya ja sakta hai?

Traffic police:tumhara scooter itna uchhal kyon raha hai?
Scooter chaalak:-huzur, scooter nahin uchhal raha hai. Mujhe hichkiyaan aa rahi hain.

Pahli ladki:- maine faisla kiya hai jab tak main 25 saal ki nahin ho jaati main shaadi nahin karungi.
Doosri ladki:-aur maine faisla kiya hai jab tak main shaadi nahin kar leti 25 ki nahin houngi.

Do abhinetao ke bachche aapas main baat kar rahe the.
Pahle bachcha:-pata hai,mere papa kal nai mummy laye hain ,wo bahot achchi hai.
Doosra bachcha:- pata hai pata hai, pichle saal who meri mummy reh chuki hain.

Ek aalsi se uske dost ne kaha:-suna hai tum faoj main bharti hone ja rahe ho.
Aalsi Dost:-are nahin,mujhe to ye bhi nahin pata ki badook ka muh kidhar karna hai?
Pehla dost:-koi baat nahin, kahin bhi rakhoge, desh ka bhala hi hoga.

Teacher:-batao baad aur sukhe main kya fark hai?
Mantra ka beta:- sir zamin aasmaan ka.
Teacher:-batao who kaise?
Mantra ka beta:- sir, sukhe main mere papa jeep se daura karte hain aur baad main helicopter main.

Ek padosan Ne Sunita Se Kaha:- are sunita gajab Ho Gaya.dekh to Pados Ki do Auraten teri Saas ki pitaai kar Rahi Hain.
Sunita padosan Ke Sath chat per Aayi Aur chhupkar pitaai Dekhane Lagi. padosan Ne Pucha, Aap Madad Karane Nahi Jayengi ?
Sunita - Nahi nahin do Hi bahot Hain

Naukraani:-malkin aap mujh per bekaar hi shak kar rahi hai,main aapko kaise samjhaau mujhe to shabd nahin mil rahe hai.
Malkin:- tujhe shabd nahin mil rahe hain,aur mujhe 1 thaali,5 katori aur 2 drzan chammach nahin mil rahi hai.

Ek aadmi:-kyon bachche yeh gend tumhari hai?
Bachcha:- uncle kya isse koi sheesha toota hai?
Aadmi:-nahin to..
bachcha:- haan to phir meri hai.

adhyaapak:-bachcho batao ki doodh ko kharab hone se bachane ke liye kya karne chaahiye?
sonu:-ji sir use pi lena chahiye.

manager ne aanewale se poocha, 'kya tumhe pata nahin ki aagya ke bina andar aana mana hai.'
aane wala, 'janab, main aagya lene ke liye hi andar aaya hoon.'

ek chhota bachcha doosre bachche se:-agar din ko suraj nahin nikala to kya hoga?
doosra bachcha:-bijli ka bill bad jaaega.

teacher:-bahcho aaykar,bikrikar,bhoomikar se milta jolta koi aur shabd batao.
bachcha:-sir ek nahin teen shabd sune hain,sunil gawaskar,sachin tendulkar aur dilip vangaskar.

Ek jagah sangeet ki mahfil chal rahi thi.ek gayak ne jaise hi gana gaya ,
sab bole , “once more”.gayak ne gana phir suna diya. Sab log phir se bole ,
“once more”.gayak nephir se ganae suna diya.abki baar phir sab bole ,
“once more”.gayak ne kaha,”mere pyare sunne walo,
main aapka mere liye pyaar samajhta hu,
per meri bhi kuch maryada hai,main itni baar nahin ga sakta.”
Tabhi mahfil main se ek aadmi bola,”jab tak tum thik se nahin gaaoge,
tumko gana padega.