Jokes | चुटकुले

Bhikhari: Beti, ek rupya Deti ja
Tera suhaag sau saal jiye.

Woman: Ab to Main Tumhe ek phooti

kodi bhi nahi dungi.

Ek commerce ki ladki kaise gali degi?
Saale bounced cheque,dharti pe liability,pedaishi bad-debt,insolventaadmi,itna marungi Balance Sheet tally nahin hogi..

Sardar: AAj mae ny PAni ko Ullu bana dia.

Frnd: Pani ko Ullu? Wo kaise?


Sardar: Oye!Subah maeny Pani GARAM kiya or THANDAY pani se NAha liya

SARDAR 100 VOLT K BULB PR BAP KA NAM LIKH RAHA THA...

KISI NE POCHA YE KYA KR RAHE HO?

SARDAR: BAP KA NAM ROSHAN KAR RAHA HOON..

Son-hum patakhe yaha se lenge
Mom-ye to grls hostl h?
M-papa khte the sab phuljharia yaha milti he

Boy- chal shadi kr ke bhag jate hai ya bhag k shadi kr le. Gil- fate hue chappal se mar khayega ya chappal fatne tak mar khayega.

Santa Banta ko – Yaar lag raha hai menu bird flue ho gaya
Banta :-> Tenu keda pata
Santa :-> Yaar mera hai na kal se udne ko man kar raha hai.

Memon At Petrol Pump

Bhai 1rs Ka Petrol Dal Do

Salesman: Bhai Itna Sara Petrol Dalva
K Kahan Jana Hai?

Memon: Jana Kahan Hai Hm
To Aise Hi Paise Urate Hen

Child:papa aunty ka pait kion phola hai?
Father:tujhey sub pata hai!
Child: nahin pata promise!
Father: in k pait main pani bhara hay
CHILD:Oh No! Bacha to doob jaye

Ek 16 saal ka ladka mar gaya..

Uski maa boli- isne toh abhi duniya bhi nahi dekhi

1 ladki boli- aunty aap chinta nat karo maine dikha di thi

6 Hijede badhaai dene gaye.
-:Haye-Haye:- **Hume to 2100 Lenge 2100**
piche se aawaz aaiiiiiiiiiiii
abe 2300 lelo Usme FM Bhi Hain.

Kanjoos to dukandar: Yaar zara toothbrush dena mere brush ka 1 baal toot gaya hai
Dukandar: 1 baal toota to naya q lerahe ho
Kanjoos: jo toota hai woh akhri tha…

Titanic

Pagal khane me pagal nach rhe the
In me se 1 pagal khamosh baitha tha
Dr.ne pucha
tum q khamosh baithe ho ?

pagal ne kaha
bewquf mai Dulha hu....

Sante ne Apni Biwi ko Dost k sath ghumte hoye dekh kr Dost ko goli mar di
biwi boli
Apne Gusse pe kabu rakho Varna 1din sare Dosto se Hath
dho bethoge.

Santa- Sir aap apni patni ko party me kyun nhi le jate?

Boss- Bcoz vo gaon ki hai.

Santa- sorry sir mujhe laga k vo sirf aapki hai....

bandar ki beti ne kaha papa main sadi karna chahti hun to bap ne kaha ruko dulha sms padh raha hai.agar w muskura de to samjho rista paka ho gaya.

Boy- Nice dress!
Girl- Thanx!
Boy- Lipstick bhi acchhi hai..
Girl- Thanx!
Boy- Make up bhi achha hai!
Girl- Thanx bhaiyya!
Boy- Phirbhi sundar nahi lag rahi... ;-)

salman:aaj mere paas 14 cars, 18 bikes, 4 bunglow,3 farmhouse hai......
tere paas kya hai?

amitabh: mere paas beta hai...
jiske paas teri item hai!!

GIRLS 1970: Jia beqraar hai aai bahar hai, aa ja moray baalma taira intzar hai
GIRLS 2009: Jia beqraar hai aai bahar hai, aa ja moray baalma WERNA DOSRA TIYAR HAI..

MUSHARAF narak me yamraj se: Ek call pakistan kar lu?
yam: Ok !
call ke baad,
Mush :kitna bill hua?
Yam :kuch nahi.
Mush :kyon?
Yam : Narak 2 narak free hai...

Teacher:Oxygen is must for Breathing . It was discovered in 1773.
Sardar:Thank God I was born after that .
Pehla Paida hota to mar hi jata .

Aman To Chaman: Tell Me 5 Animals Living In Water?
Aman: Hmmm…..Fish.
Chaman: Thik Ha Aur Chaar?
Aman: Fish Ke Brother, Sister Father And Mother

Ek boyfriend apni girl friend se bola, darling mere kaan mein
kuch naram sa, kuch halka, kuch mulayam sa kaho.
Girl friend boli 'DHOKLA'

Wife : Kal rat tum nind me muje galiya de rahe the
Husband : Tumhe galat-fehmi hui he

Wife : Kaisi galat-fehmi?
Husband : Yehi ki me nind me tha

Santa: Doctor, when I take a bath I get wet. Doctor: Ok, next time when you are going to take a bath, turn off the tap.

zardari cycle pe ja raha tha nwaz sharif mila or bola ALLAH ke nam pe kuch de do saieen zardari.. aa chal tuje aik or chaker doon

pagal-Dr. sahab main khud ko bhagwan samjhne laga hu.doctor-ye problem kabse hai? pagal- jabse maine ye duniya banai hai

Jahaz tofan me ghir gya

CAPTAN : ksiko tofan sa bach nklna ki dua ati ha?

A man raisd hand

CAPT said: OK ap dua pr gzara krn hmary pas 1 life jackt km hy ;->

Mallika Sherawat ne Baba Ramdevji se pucha ke me nahate samay kya lagun ki mera yauvan surakshit rahe ?

Baba ne kaha -
CHITAKANI

Tufani barish me rat ko pizza hut par Santa pizza lene gaya..Waiter : Ap maried hO?..Santa : .....is tufani barish me kya meri maa muje pizza lene bhejegi..

Gabbar Wala darr Ab Purana Ho Gaya
Aajkal Door Gao Me Raat KO Jab Maa-Baap Sote Nahi.
To Bachcha Kehta Hai:So Jao Bapu..Nahi To Ek aur HO jayega.

Aik Pagal: “Mujhe Katrina ne shadi k lye haan bol di hai”

Doosra: “Dikha di na usne apni auqat.
Main bhi itni asani se tallaaq nahi dunga.