Jokes | चुटकुले

1Rat 1Kanjus K Ghar Aag Lgi Thi
Wo Apne Ghar Ko Bacha Nahi Saka

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Q Ki Wo Sari Raat FIRE BRIGADE Wale Ko Mis cal karta raha!
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Waiter gives bill 2 Santa
Santa:Take this card.
Waiter:But sir,this is voter card.
Santa:So what?u hav written there-ALL CARDS ACCEPTED

aik pathan bachpan sai hi pareshan tha kai
meri behan kai 3 bhai hain lakin meray 2

jinn: kya hukum hai mere aka?
Aaka: mere acount me 10crore cashaur katrina se shadi 10 sec me kara do
jinn: aaka hukum karo haramipana nahi....!!

What is common between Allama Iqbal, Gandhi and
Qaid-e-Azam?
Pathan replied
“All r born on govt holidays”

Jailor-Tum kis zurm mai andar aye ho


Qaidi-Sarkar Se competition ho gaya tha


Jaiol-Kis baat ka


Qaidi-Note chap ne ka

American pathan se : Hum chand par ja sakta hay.
Pathan : To kia hua ham sooraj par ja sakta hay.
American : Impossible Tum jal jao gay.

Pathan : Hum pagal nahi hay ham raat mein jaiga

aurat jyotish k pas jakar hath dikhati he
Jyotsh: Aap 3 mahine me vidhva ho jayogi.
Aurat:Ye to mujhe bi pata he,ye batao pakdi jaaungi ya nai

Pathan Cycle Ka
Brake hath mein
Lekar nach
Raha Tha
Sardar: yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Pathan: oye!
Yara dikhta nahi kya?
BRAKE DANCE!
More Sms

2 Aadmi kabrastan me
1 bola-Ye log bade Aaram se sote hai
1 Murda kabra se utha or bola Kyo na soye
Yeh jagah Jaan dekar hasil ki hai

Santa:Mujhe to aankhe band karne par b dikhayi deta hai

Banta:Acha! Kya dikhta hai?

Santa:Andhera!

3 pagalo ko hospital se discharge karte samay doctors ne test kiya dewar per door ka scatch banaya aur teeno se kaha yeh door khol kar ghar jao 2 pagal bhag kar door kholne lage doctors ne pehle wale se pocha tum door nahi khologe to us ne kaha yeh dono pagal hai us door ki key mere pass hai

Child: Mom is bar hum sare patakhe is shop se lenge.
Mom: lekin beta ye to girls hostel hai.
Child: Papa to kehte hai ki sari phuljadiyan yhi rahti hai.

Ladka Shadi ke liye ladki dekhne gaya,
usne ladki se pucha,
Tumpe me Vishwas kaise karu?
Ladki Boli pehle istemal karo phir vishwas karo.

pandit- tumhare jeevan mein 6 ladkiyaan aayengi...
boy- kab aayengi???
pandit- jyada khush hone ki jarurat nahi hai, 1 biwi aur 5 daughters hain...

Patient - Dr. sabah ye dava kisi bhi medical store me nahi mil rahi.
Dr. - Ohh sorry, medicine likhni to mein bhool hi gaya, ye to mera signature hai

Aap ko macharone bhahoot pareshan kiya usaki khopadi ghoomi,usane zahar piya aou bola kato kato ab sab mar jaogey.

Maalik to Santa: Tu to kehta tha ke tu thakta nahi hai. Aaj fir tu sota hua paya gaya hai.

Santa: Mere na thakne ka yahi to raaz hai.

Man: sir i m married, i had 10 childs, plz tell me my favorite stone, favorite star, & favorite number, Astropamist: Oh. No. ab ap ka guzara SABAZ SITARA sey hi ho ga

A boy told his friend, “yar aik larki mujh ko hans k dekh rahi hai”. Friend answered: “Sahi se dekh, hans k dekh rahi hai ya dekh k hans rahi hai :-)”

Boy: BUS aur LARKI
aik jaisi hoti hain,
1 jaati hai to doosri aa jati hai.

Girl: RAKSHAY aur LARKAY
ek jaisay hotay hain,
1 ko bulao 4 chale aate hain

Next Generation sholay dialog-
Mom: Beta so jaa warna gabbar aa jayega..
Son: 100 rupya do warna papa ko bata dunga ki mere sone ke baad gabbar aata hai..

Boy went 2 drop AuntyA:Raat ho gai Bitu k Pas So jao B:No Anty Sofe Pe So JaungaNxt day a Sexy GIRL brng Tea B:Aap?Gal:me Bitu & UBoy:Ulu ka patha;-)

sales man:sir cokroach ke liye powder loge kya?
santa:nahi hum cokroch itna lad pyar nahi karte aaj poder dege to kal deo mangega

..

baap: beta mene tumhare liye ek ladki dhundhi hai

wo roopvati, gunvati aur sarasvati hai..

beta:lekin me kisi aur ladki se pyaar karta hu

aur wo GARBHVATI hai..

Santa visits Mysore palace. Guide: Please don’t sit there, this is Tipu Sultan’s chair. Santa: Don’t worry, I will get up when he comes.

Santa apne bete se bola Bevakuf kaisa machis leke aaya hai, ek bhi tili nahi jalti
Beta : Kya baat karte ho papa sab tili test karke layah hu.

Munna Bhai > Abay Sirkit,
Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula ke laa,
meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.
Sirkit > par Bhai aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna Bhai > Bolay to meri fees buhat zyada ha

Banta: Kal Muje 10 logo ne Peeta.
Santa: Phir tune kya kiya?
Banta: Maine kaha salon ek-ek karke aao.
Santa: Phir?
Banta: Phir kya, Salon ne ek-ek karke dubara Peeta

taxi driver:madam me abtak 10 pregnant ladkiyo ko airport chhod chuka hoon.... Girl:But i am not pregnant.Driver;Abhi tak airportkaha aaya hai????

Santa: Why has the Govt. fixed voting age 18yrs & marriage age 21yrs?
Banta: Govt. ko pata hai ki desh sambhalna aasan hai, lekin biwi ko nahi.

Teacher Kisses Ko Sentence Main
Is Tarah Istamal Karo K Word Kiss Bhi
Na Aaye Aur Meaning Aajae

Student Aaj Subah Subah
Begam Se Buhat Moun Maari Hui