Jokes | चुटकुले

Sir:Bijli Kaha Se Aati Hai?Banta: Mama K Ghar Se.Sir:Wo Kaise?Bnta: KyuKi Jab B Bijli Jati Hai Papa Kahte Hai Saalo Ne fir kaat di!

Aik dewar pe lika tha, Kutta thook raha hy

Pathan ne wahi par thooka aur hans ne laga hahaha
Thooka ham ne naam kutte ka aya.

Boy friend:Darling,I love u.
Girlfriend:Kutte ke bache....
Boyfriend:Kya!
Girlfriend:Kitne cute hote hain na.

1 pagal khane me pagal nach rahe the...
1 pagal khamosh baitha tha

dr ne pucha tum q khamosh baithe ho

pagal ne kaha-bewkuf me dulha hun!!!

Tourist - Is Fort Me Koi Bhoot He Kya?
Guide - Me Yaha Itne Saalo Se Kaam Kar Raha Hoon,
Aaj Tak Nahi Dekha,

Tourist - Kitne Saal Hue?

Guide - 300 Saal.

santa:tum bike itni fast kyun chala rahe ho?

banta:ye khat urgent pohchana hai

santa:kaha?

banta:address padhne ka tym nahi ha

Sheikh ka 1 rupiya chatt se gir gaya,

sheikh neeche pohncha to rupiya nahe mila

kion??















sheikh rupiay se pehley pohnch gaya tha!:-

SMS karne ke fayde
1.mai bhi khush

2.jise bhejo wo bhi khush

3.yado ka silsila bana rehta hai

4.kaun KANJUS hai wo bhi pata chalta hai..

Ek behra dusre se: Nahane ja rahe ho?
Dusra behra: nahi, nahane ja raha hun.
pehla: Acha, mujhe laga nahane ja rahe ho...

Why did HARBHAJAN slap Srisanth..?Aftr d match he asked Bhajji Oye Paji, LOG CHLOROMINT KYU KHATE HAIN?Bhajji slapped & said DUBARA MAT POOCHHNA

An Elephant meets an Ant.

ANT: Tumhari umer kitni hai?
ELEPHANT: 5 saal.
ANT: 5 saal aur itne barrey.
ELEPHANT: Main NEEDO jo peeta hoon.

ELEPHANT: Tumhari umer kitni hai?
ANT: 30 saal.
ELEPHANT: 30 saal aur itni chhoti…
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ANT: I use LUX, meri khoobsurti se umer ka pata he nahi chalta…

Ek Ladka Ladki Dekne Gaya
Dono 10 minute Tak Bat karte rahe
Ladki - Bhaiya aap kitne bhai-Bahen Ho?
Ladka:- Abtak 3 The par Ab 4 Ho Gaye

Wife:Tum muje kitna Pyar karte ho?Hus:Shahjahan
jitna.Wife:Mere marne k bad Taj banaoge Hus:Maine to Plot
le liya hai,Der to tum kar rahi ho.

ghor kalyug ka sabhut..!


boy-'kya me tumara hath chum sakta hu...?
girl- kiu? kutte ....!]
kamine...!
haramjade..! mere hoto me kya jahar laga he kya..??

Santa pravachan sun ne gaya, ghar aaker biwi ko god me utha liya, biwi boli kya baat hai pravachan me romantic karne ko bola hai.santa bol nhi pagli bola hai ki apne dukho ka bhaar khud uthao...

Ek mahila ki aankh suzi hui thi, Padosan-Kya hua?

Mahila-Pati ne mara

Padosan-Lekin mere khyal se tumahre pati Delhi gaye hue the Mahila-Mera bhi yahi khyal tha

Lallu Ke Ghar Chor Aaya, Lallu Ne Dekha To Chor Bhaga.
Lallu Bhagte Bhagte Chor Se b Aagay Nikal Gaya.
Lallu: Ek To Chori Uper Se Hum Se Race ?

gango ki race main ek gangge ne mari bazi.. par inam lene se inkar kar diya.. puchne pe bola ye bhi koi khel hai jahann gango ka inam kangi aur tel hai...

Biwi Husband Se, Yeh Apki Shirt Par Lipstick Ka Nishan Kaha Se Aaya?

Husband: Men Khud Pareshan Hoon Mene To Us Waqt Shirt Utari Hui Thi

The doctor told Santa

The doctor told Santa that if he ran 8 kms a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Santa called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem. Doc: What’s the problem? Santa: I am 2400kms away from home.

Santa: Yaar meri aankhen kabhi dhang se nahi khulti, koi tarika toh batao.
Friend: Kisi din achanak apne ghar bedroom mein chale jao, aakhen khuli ki khuli reh jayengi.

Santa’s donkey was missing

Santa’s donkey was missing. Santa was praying and thanking God. Banta saw him and asked, “Your donkey is missing; Why are you thanking God?” Santa: I am thanking Him because I wasn’t riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would also have been missing.

Teacher: Dhritrashtra Ke 100 putra the aur Pandu Ke sirf 5, aisa kyu?
Student: Madam, kyu ki Jinki aankhe hoti hai, unhe aur bhi kaam hote ha

A 60 year old bachelor advertizes his zaroorat-e-rishta in newspaper. After a month, he gets a letter saying, 'Miyan! Is umar mein farishtey aatey hain, rishtey nahin.'

BHIKARI: KUCH KHAANE KO DO BABA...
AADMI : TAMATAR KHAO.
BHIKARI: ROTI DE DO BABA...
AADMI : TAMATAR KHAO.
BHIKARI: TO CHALO TAMATAR HI DE DO.
AADMI KI PADOSI BOLTI HAI: YEH TOTLE HAIN. KEH RAHE HAIN 'KAMAKAR KHAO'.

Santa- “i m going” ka kya matlab hota hai?
Banta(khub soch ke)- “me ja raha hu.”
Santa(gusse me)- “oye! nahi jaane doonga. pehle matlab bata.”

patient asks doctor: yeh foolon ki mala kis liye? doc. agar operation successful hua toh mere liye nahin toh tumhare liye!!

Ladka- “Tumharaa Ghar Jane Ka Kya Iradaa Hai?”
Ladki- “Tumhare Paas Kitne Rupye Hai?”
Ladka- “Lagbhag Char Sau Rupye Hai?”
Ladki- “Filhal Char-Paanch Din Tak Jaane Ka Koi Iradaa Nahi.”

Pandit:- maut ke waqt aadmi ke muh me kya dalna chahiye???
Santa:-BIRLA CEMENT
Pandit:-kyun?
Santa:- Is cement main JAAN HAI...!!!

Jo 11 Saal Jail Main
Rahe,

Wo Sadar-e-Pakistan
Hai..

Jo 6 Saal Jail Main
Rahe,

Wo Wazir-e-Aazam
Pakistan Hai..

2, 4 Saal Aap Bhi Jail
Main Guzaar Aayen,

Mustaqbil Roshan

Married Women Ko PoLiCe Me Job Buhat Jald Kyun MiL Jati Hai?
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Becoz
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Wo Chapa Marnay Me Exert Hoti Hain. .

nurse-mubarak ho aapke ghar beta paida huwa hai
santa- wah g wah kya technology hai BV meri hospital me hai aur baccha ghar paida huwa hai.