Jokes | चुटकुले

Teacher: Batao saal me kitne mausam hote hain?
Student: “Sir 4 mausam.”
Tchr: Kaun kon si?
Stdnt:”Hadtaal, Election, Imtehanaat, Hungame

1000 Pages ki book kitne din main padhi ja sakti hai? WRITER-6 MNTH, DOCTOR-2 MNTHS,LAWYER-1 MNTHS, ENGINEER-PEHLE YE BATAO EXAM KAB H, RATO RAAT NIPTA DENGE.

Yeh student ki pehchan hai.
Hath mein cigret mun me pan hai.
Mashoor ye shetan hai.
Yeh student ki pehchan hai.

Parhna isay ata nhi,
Class me kabi jata nai,
Canteen iski jan hai,
Yeh student ki pehchan hai

Taxi driver to
Sindhi passenger :
”Sir, taxi ke brakes fail
ho gaye hain
Kya karoon.?”
Sindhi passenger :
”Bhenya Charya, pehle meter band kar”.

1st Friend: Yar Me Jis Larki Ko Chahta Hun,
Usne Mujhse Shadi Nhi Ki
2nd Friend: Tumne Usy Bataya K Mera Chacha Karorpati Hai
1st: Bataya Tha
2nd: Phir
1st: Ab Wo Meri Chachi Ha

GABBAR: Ye haath humko dede Thakur.

THAKUR: Theek hai, lele. Par 1 shart hai.

Vada kar?.

Roz ?POTTI? dhone tu ayega. . . . . .

nepali-ye sham singh ka mobile kaha milega?santa-pta nahi nepali-itni bari company hai or apko pta ni santa ko baad me pta laga wo samsung keh raha tha....

Baap, Bete Se Tum Barey Ho K Kya Bano Ge
Beta! Abu Me Jangi Jahaz Ka Poilet Banu Ga
Baap, Lekin Hame Kaise Pata Chaley Ga
K Tum Kon Sa Jahaz Urah Rahey Ho
Beta! Abu Jab Me Apne Gaon Ke Uper Se
Guzrun Ga To Bomb Giraa Dun Ga,
Aap Foran Samj Jaiye Ga Ke Ye Hamara Beta Hai

Techer : 2mrow Thr Wil B A Lectur
On Sun Every1 Mst Attend It.
Kid : No Mam I Wil Not B Able 2 Attend It
T : Why
Kid : My Mother Will Not Allow Me To Go So Farr

Santa ki wife inspecter se!
Mera husband ek hafte pehle aaloo lene gaya tha abhi tak wapis nahi aaye:-(
Inspector banta bola:- to behan kuch or paka lo

Reporter ne 1 zakhmi se pucha jab BOMB gira....
'kya wo phat gya tha?'
Zakhmi gusse se:'Nahi..!wo raing kar mere paas aaya aur pyar se bola

'THAAA'

Santa : Cheel ko English main Kya Kehte Hain.
Banta : Eagle
Santa : Agar cheel bimar ho jaye to?
Banta : Illeagal...

a depressed engg. Student went 4 sucide
train come closer & closer
but suddenly jumped out of the track & said
yaar kal to assignment dena hai

Madam=Tum bahut badtameez ho gaye ho,main tumhe kya szaa du ? Kid=Wo Ldki Jo 2nd banch Pe baithi hai, mujhe uske Saath bathroom mein bnd kr do..

Ek 10 saal ka bachha bahot dhyan se ek book pad raha tha, jiska title tha: “Kids ka paalan poshan kaise kare”.



Mother: Tum yeh book kyon pad rahe ho.

Kid: Main yeh dekhna chahta hoon ke mera paalan poshan theek tara se ho raha hai ya nahi.

Santa Went To A
STD/ISD/PCO Shop And
Slapped The Operator Twice.
Guess Why ?
Bcoz There It Was Written
“number Dial Karnay Se Pehley Do Lagain”

Dada-Beta Andar Se Mere Daant Lana

Pota-Par Dadu Abi Roti Nhi Bani Hai

Dada-Oy Roti Ko Mar Goli Yar Samnewali Buddhi Ko Smile Deni Hai..!

Gujju premi:darling mere kan me kuch halkasa kuch narmsa kuch namkin sa kuch mitha sa kaho Premika:dhokla.

Santa To Guest: Thanda Piyoge ya Garam

Guest: Dono le aao

Santa: 1 Glass Freezer se Aur 1 Glass Geyser se Pani ka le Aao

santa:aisi jindagi se to maut achhi.
achanak yamdut ayaaur bola:tumari jan lene ka hukam he.
santa:lo batoa aab insan majak bhi nahi kare..

Santa Angoor bech rha tha Magar Keh rha tha
'Aalu Le Lo Aalu'

BANTA: Ye to Angoor he

Santa: Chup ho ja Warna Makkhiya Sun legi

Santa:Yaar tune apni Biwi ko Talak kyu diya?
Sardar:Yaar wo badi character less thi.Shaadi mujhse ki aur Baccha Bhagwan se mangti thi

S-Mere Uncle Ko Marne Se Phle Mrne Ki DATE Pata Thi
B-Kaise
S-Judge Ne Batai

Santa Ka Dhaba !
Customer: Mere Soup Me Makhi Doob Kar Mari Padi Hai.
Santa: To Kya Karu, Dhaba Chalau Ya Inhe Tairna Sikhau

Ladka: ghire hue badlo mai teri yaad aati hai,
sawan k aane se teri yaad aati hai,
Barish ke bundo mai teri yaad aati hai,
Ladki: haan haan janti hun mujhe teri chatri deni hai..

Aurate 3Type Ki Hoti H

1.Jiske Bina Aap Reh Nhi Skte
2.Jo Apke Bina Reh Nhi Skti
3.Jiske Sath Ap Rehte Ho

Life while doing m.b.b.s

1sr yr: yahoo i’m in Medical college
2nd yr: kahan phans Gaya? Help me
3rd yd: severe Migraine, sometimes Pagalpan bhi
4th yr: aah soon it’ll b over
5th yr: finaly it’ll b over
job : i love myself

W8 a min !
Something is missing
Ohhh !!! Meri “jawani”

Santa-Yaar Meri Door Ki Nazar Kharab Hai,
Chashma Lena Padega

Banta-Wo Kya Chamak Raha Hai?

Santa-Suraj

Banta-Sale Aur Kitne Dur Dekhega

girl-Mujhe ek aisa husbend chahiye jo achi achi baten kre hansi mazaq kre or raton ko muje songs sunaye
sam-tussi husbend chaddlo FM radio le lo

Santa: RAAZ Par Jo Musibat aayi hai
Uske Bare me Tumne Suna kya?

Bnta-
Nahi to ki hoya?

Santa: Are Meri biwi Uske Sath Bhag Gai hai

Boy: Tujhko Kya Bhejon?

Barish Ki Pehli Boond?

Aasman Ka Sab se Roshan Tara?

Shakh Pe Khila Surkh Gulab?

Muthi Main Qaid Ik Jugnu?

Honton Pe Saji Ek Khuahish?

Ya

Aankhon Ka Ik Khuaab?

Girl: Mujhe Bas 5 Kilo Cheeni Bhejdo. :-)

Girl: Na chhod ladki ko paap hoga,
Kal tu bhi kisi bacchi ka baap hoga.
Boy: Khuda kare teri baat sachchi ho,
jo mujhe baap kahe woh teri bachchi ho.