Jokes | चुटकुले

Teacher:- MotorCycle k Kitne Tyers Hote hai?
Smart Santa:- 6 Tyre
Teacher(Gusse se): How?
Santa:- 4 Motor k 2 Cycle k!

Santa ka bacha-Teri MAA itni moti he
k sab usko TRUCK kehte he

Banta ka bacha: Teri MAA moti nai he
isliye sab log use cycle cycle kehte he

KanJoos Ashiq
Kr Diya Izhare-Ishq Hamne Mobile par
Lakh Rupaye Ki Baat thi
Do Rupaye Me Hi Ho Gayi

PATI-Tum Aisi Roti Nai Paka Sakti
Jesi meri Ammi Pakati Thi
BV-Paka Sakti Hu
Agar Tum B Aisa Aata Goondho
Jesa Tumhare Abbu Goondha Karte The

Santa Haircutting k kitne lete ho?
Banta Barber:- Rs 30
Santa:- Shaving ke?
Banta:- Rs10
Santa:- Shave My Head

RAAZ Dr. ne kha he k muje blood pressure he
Jiski vaja se muje hert attack b ho sakta hy
FARAZ-Nhi aa skta.
R-Q.
F-Q..ki Ap Pathar dil he

Pappu-dada ji kya aap badaam khate he?
Dadaji-nahi, mere to daant hi nahi hain
Pappu-fir thik hai, ise aap rakhiye, mai school se aakar le lunga..

GOLU SCHEME Wali Bottle ka Dhakan

Baar Baar Khol K Dekh Raha Tha

MOLU- Kya Hua?

GOLU-Dhakkan Me Likha Hai 'Try Again.' :-)

Santa: Tumhe pata hai Mere papa ek ungli se 8logo Ko Utha sakte hai
Banta:wow! Wo kaise?
santa: Qki Mere papa Lift Operator hai.

Samajne ki kosish kro muje tang N kro
Akela chor do
Rat tmhari waja se so nhi ska
Mat khelo mri zindgi se

GOLU hath jor k machar se kh rha tha

Gahak: (doodh waly sy)
Tumhari gaay kita doodh deti he
Doodh wala: 5 kilo
Gahak: is main say kitna bech letey ho?
Doodh wala: yehi koi 12 kilo

Teacher-Bacho kasam lo ki daru, cigrate or ladkiyo se dur rahoge or desh ke liye jaan bhi doge.
Boys-De denge! Saali aisi zindagi ka karenge bhi kya?

Girl : Main tere pyar me mar gayi, lut gayi, barbaad ho gayi..



Ashiq: Main konsa tere pyar me Ambani ban gaya. .

Kutta punch Q hilata hai ? . . . nahi pata Ans :- Qki punch me itni takat nahi hoti K wo kute ko hila sake. ha ha ha...

Aik Pathan Cycle Sath Lay Kar Bhaga
Ja Raha Tha
Rastay May Kisi Nay Kaha K
Khan Sahib Chay To Petay Jao
Khan: Agr Itna Time Hota
To Cycle Pay Na baith Jata

Santa:Yaar raat
Me Suraj kaha chala
Jata he??

Banta:Suraj kahi nahi jata he
Sirf andhere ki
Wajah se hum use
Dekh nahi paate...

A Policeman to his son- Yeh kya hai itne kam marks??
Aaj se tumhara khelna,T.V.dekhna,ghumna sab band.
son- Yeh lo papa 50Rs. Baat ko yehin khatam karo..

santa: uth...uth... bhukamp aa raha h...
banta: soja.. soja.. makaan girega to makaan maalik ka girega, hum to kirayedar hain...

Neil Armstrong lands on Moon & sees two men !!!!!

Asks them: Who are you ?????

Reply !!!!!
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Deepak Chourasiya with Cameraman Santosh from Aaj Tak !!!!!

munna bhai: amirican rastrapati sala kaha rehta hai....?
circut: dhobigath pe....
munna bhai: dhobigath bole to.....?
circut: bhai englih main usko washington kehte hai....

Bap-Aj tak tumne aisa koi kam nahi kia jisse mera sir uncha ho gaya ho
Beta-yad kar Ke papa ek dafa Maine apke sir k
niche 3takye rakhe the ;)

Texi Wala-Sir Sorry

Mai Meter Chalu Karna Bhul Gaya Tha

Ab Kitna Bhada Lu?

GOLU-Oye Praji Koi Gal Nhi
Maii B Apna Batva Bhul Gaya Hu

Patni- Mobile,
Pati- Sim Card,
Dono Mile To Hua Reacharge,
Beta Hua To Incoming,
Beti Hue To Outgoing,
Two in One Hua To Bonus Talktime,
Kuch Nahi Hua To Network Problem.

Aaj Maine ek Jaan Bachai,Pucho Kaise?

Ek Bhikhari Ko Maine Pucha
1000 Ka Note Du To Kya Karega?

Wo Bola-Khushi Se Mar Jauga!

To maine use paise nahi diye..!

GOLU Ne A.C Lgwaya
MOLU-Apko To Sardi Bahut Lagti He?
GOLU-Oye Mene Ulta Lgwaya He
Garam Hwa Andar Or Thndi Hawa Bahar Jati Hai

SANTA- maine apni biwi ko 12th karwayi
Fir B.Sc,Fir M.Sc,Fir usko job b lagwa di.Ab OR kya karWAU?BANTA- acha sa ladka dekh k shadi b karde

Makan Malik-Mai tumko kiraya dene
k liye aur 3 din ki mohlat deta hu

Std-Theek hai ji,

Main
Diwali
Holi
Or
Chrismas

ke 3 din select karta Hun

Wife:
Meine
'GADHO' par research ki Hai,

wo apni
'GADHI'
ke siwa kisi aur 'GADHI' ko dekhta tak nahi!

Ek pathan ka school main 7th class main new admision howa .

Teacher.beta batao Allama iqbal koN hain?

Pathan.hum ko kya pata hum to school mai naya hai..

1 Pathan Ko Road pe say 100 Rupay Ka note mila
Jis par likha tha,,
.
.
. 'Eid Mubarak'

PatHan Ne Note Pocket mein dala or Bola


'khair Mubarak' ;p :

Pathan Larki Se: I Love You.

Larki: Tameez Se Baat Karo.


Pathan: 'Assalam-o-Alaikum'

I Love You. :-)

1 Banda Bus me 1 Molvi ko daikh kr

darty darty pochta hai.

“Movi sab,
Ap
?
?
?
?
?
?
Dam Darood waalay Molvi ho , ya bomb BArood walalay.. ?