Jokes | चुटकुले

Santa:Aaj kisine mere BAAP ko gaali di.
Patni:Fir?
Santa:Maine bhi uske baap ko gaali di.
Patni:Lekin wo kaun tha?
Santa:Mera BETA..

1 Andha aadmi air force mein bharti ke liye gaya

Major: Main tumhe kiss kam ke liye rakhu?

Aadmi: Sirf andhadhundh firing ke liye!

bhagvan shankar; bhakt main teri tapasya se khgush hua, bol tujhe kya chahiye?
bhakt;muze dj system do prabhu.
shankar; abe sale dj hota to main damru q bajata?

1 Baar 1 chor ne apni mangetar ko sone ka set dia

Mangetar ne khush ho k pucha is set ki keemat kya h?

Chor ne jawaab dia....:

Teen Saal Qaid...!!!

Customer: Ek kilo gaay(cow) ka doodh dena.



Shopkeper: Lekin tumhara bartan toh bahut chhota hai.

Customer: Theek hai toh phir bakri ka de de.

Ladka:hum 25 bhai bahan he
Ladki:kya aap ke ghar family planning wale nahi aate?
Ladka:aaye the par school samajh ke vapas chale gaye

Munna bhai:apun ko kaisy pata chalay ga k ye bakra hai ya bakri?”
circuit:”simple bhai ,pathar mar kar dekho,
ager bhaga to bakra aur ager bhagi to bakri.

Madom - Bachcho batao kis devi par kaun sa prasad chadhta hai ?

Ek bachcha - Yes mam RAVRI DEVI par LALU PRASAD chadhta hai.

Santa : Kal papa Kuwe me Gir gaye, Bahut Chot Lagi, Bahut Chilla rahe the. Banta : Ab Kaise hai? Santa : Thik hi Honge, Kal se Kuwe se Koi Awaaz Nahi aayi Na.

Man - Shirt ke liye koi badiya kapda dikhao.
Shopkeeper - Plain main dikha doo.
Man - Abbe hawai jahaj mai jane ki kya jaruurat hai?

patient-mujhe aisi dava do jise khane per me murker jinda ho jau?
doctor-aisi dava to sirf Ekta kapoor hi de sakti hai.

Santa Bus stand jane k kitne paise?
Rikshwala 10Rs
Santa: 2Rs mein chalega.
Rikshwala 2Rs kaun le k jayega?
Santa baith piche me le jata hu

Ek baar exam me question aaya- HIPS PE ESSAY LIKHO!
Santa apni pant kholkar hips dekh raha tha tabhi Banta bola- MAM! USNE KUNJI KHOL RAKHI HAI!!

Santa jangal ke raste ghar jaa raha tha. Raste mein ek chudail ne uska raasta roka aur boli: ha ha ha ha mein chudail hoon. Santa: Mujhe malum hai aur teri ek behan mere ghar pe hai.

All happy Husbands behave like Amir Khan in Ghajini -
Biwi ki sunte hain,
Samajhte hain,
Aur.







15 Minute ke Baad sab Bhool Jaate Hain.Gud mrng...

IIT Exam, Santa got 1 question

Proove : SIN X = 6N
Santa cancelled 'N' from both the sides.
Then SIX = 6 & wrote 'Kuch to standard rakha karo IIT ke questions ka'

Akbar & Santa best frnds

Santa went to Masjid 1st time with Akbar

Akbar: Allaahoo Akbar

Santa: Allaahoo Santa

Santa-: Yaar nave surf naal apna kachha dhota si.. Sala chuttran kolo tight ho gya, hun ki kara..!! Banta-: Aida kar, ohi surf naal apne chuttar dho lai....!?!

SANTA ki 1 tang ki haddi toot gayi
Hospital gaya to waha 1 admi ki dono tange tooti dekhkar bola

'Kya aapki 2 biwiyan he'

ek bhera scooter start kar raha tha..
2 bhera:kya hua petrol khatm ho gaya kya ..
1 bhera :nahi petrol khatm ho gaya ..
2 bhera:mujhe laga ki petrol khatm ho gaya ......

Santa-Mere pass gadi hai ,bunglow hai,paisa hai tumhare paas kya hai ?
Banta- Mere paas bhi gadi hai bunglow hai paisa hai.
Santa-to saale apni maa kiske paas hai ?

Ek rangile ne apne girlfriend ke kuch jyada hi kareeb aane ki koshish ki.
GF : yaar, shaadi se pehle ye sab nahi.
Rangila : Don't worry, mein pehle se hi shaadi-shuda hu!!!

3 idiots dekh ke kisne kya seekha??
Medical student :use of vaccum cleaner
MBA student:jo dil kahe wohi karo
Engineer:naak beech mein nahi aati

Boy: Me 4 years ka hu, aur tum?
Girl: Me bhi 4 years ki hu
Boy: To fir chal na, sharmana kya?
Girl: kaha?
Boy: Polio ki dawai pine...

Girl - Kya Tum mere Asiqe ho?
Boy - ha hu..
Girl - To Mujhe 10000 ka Recharge Bhej Do.
Boy - 'Me Tera Asiqe Hu AirTel walo ka Damad Nahi...'

Santa-Tum Meri Shadi Me Aaoge Na?

Banta-Mai Un Logo Me Se Nahi

,Jo Musibat
Ke Waqt Dost Akela Chhod De.
Main Zarur Aaunga

Aadmi Kafi Der Se WAITER Ko KHUJLI Karte Dekh Raha Tha

Aadmi Ne Use Bula K Pucha-KHUJLI H Kya

Waiter-SAAB, Agar Menu Me Likhi H To Zarur Milega.

Pathan: Station Jany K Kitne Paise Logay?
Ricksha Wala: 50
Pathan: 20 Lelo
Ricksha Wala: 20 Main Kon Le Ker Jayega.
Pathan: Tum Peeche Betho Hum Le K Jayega.

Teacher:Montu tere Papa kya krte hai?
Montu:Sir HDFC ke Malik hai!

Teacher:WAH! HDFC Bank?

Montu:Nahi Sir, Henu Dahibade & Faryali Center.

13 days ago
Santa apna sar pani me duba rha tha
Biwi-kya kAr rhe h?
Santa-Dimag chalta nhi h Sala

dekh rha hu kahi Puncher to nhi.
:-)
Smile wit me..!!

Ek newspaper me chapa'50%'
'ladkiya bevkof hoti hai'
Is pr ladkiyo ne khub halla machaya.
Fir chapa'50% ladkiya bevkuf nahi hoti'
tab jakr ladkiya shant hui.

Girl Demand For Ice Cream..
Boy Purchased it..
Girl: Thank U
Boy: Only Thank U?
Girl: U Want Ki$S Na?
Boy:Chup Kar!! Aadhi Ice Cream De Mujhe.