Jokes | चुटकुले

Boy- I love u
Ladki-tameez se baat karo.
Boy-Om manglam bhagwan vishnu with due respect I BEG TO SAY THAT 'I LOVE U'
DEVI JI !

Techar: Ye Kiska Signature H
'@@@@@@@'

Student: Mere Pitaji Ka.?

Tchr:Aisa Kaise?

Student:Ji,Wo 'JALEBI' Bechte Hai..Hath Aise Hi Chalte Hai

Ek Chor Ne Apni Bibi Ko Sone Ka MAHENGA Set Diya.
Bibi Khush Hoke BOLI-Janu IsKi Kimat Kya hai?
Chor:3 Saal Ki Qaid

Judge:Tumne Apne Malik Ko Zehar Q Diya

Mulzim:QK Unho Ne Kaha Tha K Aisa Thanda Pani Pilao
K Thanda Ho Jau Maine Zehar Daal Kar De Diya

Santa- Doctor saab 1 pareshani hain ki main jab bhi nahata hoon geela ho jata hu!
Doctor - kal se nahate samay nal band kar liya karo.

1 gav me nadi pe bridge banaya Gya
People:bahut accha ho Gya
GOLU: ha ji pehle dhup me tair ke nadi paar krte the ab Chav me tair ke par krenge

Knjus-Ek Or Ice-cream Khaoge
Beta:Pr apne 1 icecream b nai dilai ab tk
Bap:Bhool Gye jab hum pichle sal yaha aye tha to 1 icecream nai khai thi

GOLU:Dehaat se aye ek admi ko english ke sirf do words aate the, phir b usne shehar ja ke lakho rupye kamaye. MOLU: Kaunse words
GOLU: HANDS UP

Teacher- Batao banjar kise kehte hai GOLU- sir jis par hariyali na ho
Teacher- bahut khub kisi banjar jagaha ka example do
GOLU- Ji aapka sir

Train M Sawar GOLU:Thookna H,Kaha Thooku
MOLU:Agle Aadmi Ki Jaib Me Thook
G:Use Pata Chala To
M:Jb Maine Teri Jaib Me Thooka To Tuje Pta Chala Tha

1 Admi GOLU Ko Mar Raha Tha
Logo Ne Poocha K Q Maar Rhe Ho
Aadmi-Sala 1 Ghante Se Pooch Raha Hy K
Phir Sailab Kb Aaega

Muje Rashan Nai Mila

Aman : Maine tujhe khat likha
that fir bhi tu nhi aaya?
Chaman : Mujhe toh khat mila hi nhi,
Aman : To sale maine to likha tha ki khat
mile na mile aana zarur. Rly...!!!

Khaufnak andheri raat me 12 baje 1 bhoot 2nd bhoot ko samja raha tha
ghabra mat. Ye sab tere dimag ka vahem h

koi Rajnikant- vajnikant nai hota

A onion get married to cabbage
d nxt morning a friend asked
onion “How did u spend your first
night?”,
Onion said arre ek dusre ko
kholte-kholte hi subah ho gayi...!!!

Doctor: kiske liye chasma banana chahate ho ?






GOLU: MASTER JEE ke liye me unhe Gadha dikhaye deta hu

Larki:
Mein Ne Socha Tum Miss Kar Rahe Hoge,
Call Karlun.

Larka: Acha Aur Jo Aik Ghante Pehle Ki Thi Woh?



Larki: Ooh Sh!t...

Senior Doctor Junior Doctor Se:
Ward No. 12 Main Behosh Paray Patient
Ki Kya Report Hai?

Junior Doctor:Sir Uska Tou Maine Postmortem
Kr Diya

Bhikari Pathan Sy!
Mujhy Khaany Ko Kuch Mill Sakta Hai.

Pathan: Kal Ki Roti Kha Lo Gy?
bhikari: G Han Bilkul.

Pathan: Acha To Phir Kal Time Se Aa Jana... ;->

Ek Aadmi Ladies ward me admit ho gaya.

Nurse:-
Tumko sharm nahi aati.

Aadmi bola:-
Sharm kaisi...!
Hum to Paida hi Ladies Ward me hue the.

Aman and wife waiting
for train itne mein PUNJAB MAIL
aayi Aman bhag kar train mein
chad gaya or wife ko bola…
.
.
.
Jab PUNJAB FEMALE aaye
to tu bhi aa jana...!!!

1 dost ne dusare dost se 7 saal baad milne per pucha :Yaar tumhare bache Pappu or munni ka kya haal ha
Dost-Ji pappu pas ho gya
or
munni badnam ho gai.

MALLIKA KO AIRPORT PE CUSTAM WALO NE PAKAD K PUCHA IS TIFIN BOX MAI KYA HAI. . . MALIKA GUSSE SE, -KAMINO YE MERA SUTCASE HAI . . . . .

MAA=beta kya kar rhe ho...?

BETA=pdh raha hu.

MAA=excelent ! kya pdh rhe ho...?

BETA=ji...GIRL FRIEND ke message..

G:Maine Aisa Mashroob Banaya He
Jise Pete Hi Insan Such Bolne Lgta He Pi Kr Dkho
M:Aakh Thoo,Ye To Tail H
G:Dekha Such Bola,Ye Waqai Tail H

Ek baccha mummy se pitne ke baad apne papa se :
Papa kabhi aap Africa gaye ho ?
.
.
.
Papa: nhi beta ..
.
.
.
Baccha: fir itni khofnak item kahan se le aaye...!!!

Aman : Yar chaman, sir ka msg aaya hai
ki aaj extra class hogi, kya karoon ?
Chaman : “Message sending fail” likh ke
bhej de...!!!

Ek baar ek pagal bidi bina jali bidi
pee raha tha
Dusra Pagal : Yaar bidi se koi dhuan
nhi nikal raha hai?
Pagal : Kar di na phir paglon wali baat,
Yeh “CNG” bidi hai...!!!

Lucky Jha

Theacher- 'LAdki sab ladko se hans ke baate karti hai. Batao is sentence me ladki kya hai?'
Student-'Sir, ladki bahut chaalu hai'

Exam me SIR ne nakal Krne Di or kha Bahar jake Na khna k maine nakal krai h
GOLU-na g hum kahenge sir to bhut harami tha,kutte ne hilne b nhi Dia

SANTA Roti Ka 1 Tukda Khud or 1 Murge Ko Khila Raha Tha.

BANTA- Ye Kya Kar Rahe Ho?

SANTA- Hum Khaandani Log Hain
Roz Roti Chickn Ke Saath Khate hain.

2lady ped k niche baithi Kafi der se bate kr rahi thi

Achanak 1aam gira
1lady-ye aam kese gira

Aam bola-

PAK GAYA HU TUMHARI BAATE SUN-SUN KE

Beta -Kya pari aakash me udti hai?
Ma- Ha
Beta - To apni kamvali Q nahi Udti?
Ma- Wo Pari Nahi Hai.
Beta - Per papa to use pari kahte hai.
Ma - kal suha ud jaygi.