Jokes | चुटकुले

Solid Insult'

Girl To Slim Boy: Apni Body T0 Dekho Jaise Haddiyan Hi Haddiyan Hon,,


Boy: Isliye Itni Dair Se Soch Raha Hu K Mere Pas Kutti Kun Khari Hy... ;->

3 Kale Dosto Ko GOD Ne Vardan Offer Kia

1st-Muje Gora Bana Do
2nd-Muje B
3rd-Hi Hi Hi,Inko Fir Se Kala Bana Do

Moral-Kch Dost Kamine Hi Rehte H

teacher: tum apni mummy ko mum kahte ho,to apni mumy ki badi bahan or chhoti bahan ko kya kahte ho?
boy: MAXIMUM & MINIMUM

santa daru pee k tala kholne laga, hath kapne ki vajah se tala nhi khula,
banta- mai khol du,
santa- mai khol lunga, tu ghar ko pakad, sala bahut hil raha hai.

Tom-Papa Mai Kal School Nai Jaunga
Papa-Q Beta?
Tom-Aj School Me Hamara Wazan Kiya Gya
Papa-To Kya Hua?
TOm-Aaj Wazan Kiya Hai Kal Bech Diya To?

Santa Amrud bech rha tha
Banta- Agar amrud me kida nikla to?
Santa-To saaf baat hai...
Phale Hi Bol dete hai
hum kide ke alag Paise Lenge

lecature k darmayan aik larka uath kar cahla gaya
teacher; yea keo uth kar cahla gaya? larke ka dost; sir is ko nend me cahlny ki adat ha

Dad: Beta Apko School Jana Kaisa Laga?
Beta: School Jana Acha Laga Aur School Se Lautna Bhi Acha Laga.
Bas Beech Ka Samay Hi Acha Nahi Laga.

Boy: Yaar Bohat Mushkil Hai ''Teacher'' Se Pyar Karna.

Friend- Kyu?
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Boy- Love Letter Bheja Tha Assignment Samajh Kar Check Kar Dia..!!
Or Boli Handwriting Improve Karo

Pita Tum Pass Nahi Hue Ho Tumhara Naam Paper Me Nahi Hai
Beta Sabhi Panne Bhare Hue Hain,
Ab Mera Naam Kahan Likhte.?

Judge-Tumne Dn me Chori Karne Ki Himat kaise ki?
Chor- Mujhe is baat ka dar tha ki
Raat ko Mujhe akela Paakar Koi Loot na le..

Boy : Why
You Did Not Close Your Eyes
When
I Kisses You ?
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Girl : Kaminey .. Last Time Eyes
Close Ki Thi, Tab Tu Ne Mere
Purse
Se 500 Rupy Chura Liye The

Doctor Tum to Mamuli Pith Dard Bata Rahe The
Lekin Tumhari to Dhadkan Bhi Kafi Badhi Hui Hai...

Banta-Wo 2 Apki Fees Dekhkar Bdhi Hai.

Girl:
Jaanu,
Agar tumhara sms nahi aya tho mein Roti nhi khaungi

Boy:
Sach?

Girl:
Haa,
Mei sirf Paneer partha, Ice-cream Kha Ke Guzara Karlungi

Pati- Aaj Kiska Chehra Dekha Tha.
Sara Din Khane Ko Nahi Mila.
Patni- Bedroom Ka Aaina Hata Do.
Warna Roz Yahi Hal Hoga. , :)

Girl:
aap Ka Mobile Bohat Acha Hey Kitney ka Liya

Boy:
Race Mey Jeeta Hey

Girl:
Wow
Race Me Kitne Log They

Boy:
3 Police Waley 1 Mobile Shop Wala Or Main.:)

santa- Ye mera Door ka bhai ha
Man- Dur ka me Smjha nhi
Santa- Iske or humare darmiyan 13 Behane ha

Son:
Hey mom, wats der 2 eat?

Mom throws a stone at him..

Son:
Hey mom
I just askd 4 sumthin to eat!

Mom:
Hum
Eat ka jawaab
pathar se dete hai..:)

Pati: Aaj Office Me Sara Din Tanav Raha.
Patni: Kyo? Kya Hua?
Pt: Pehle to Kaam Ka Dher, Fir Boss Ki Dant
Aur Fir Lunch Box Me Kaddu Ki Sabji.

Maa:Apne Janmdin Par Kisko Bulana Chahte Ho?
Pappu:Dadaji ,Mamaji, Chachaji Ko.
Akhir Gift Aur Rupaye 2 Inhi Logo Se Milenge...

MOLU-jb Tu school me padhta tha to Teri clas me sabse mehnti kon tha?
GOLU-mai tha
Baki sare bche to bethe rehte the
Mai bench pe khada rhta tha

Santa Ek Bache Se: Beta 1 Accha Sa Jhoot Bolo
Agar Mujhe Pasand Aaya 2 Mai Tumhe 5 Rs Dunga.
Bacha : Ye Lo kar Lo baat, Abhi 10 Rs Kahe The.

GOLU Faqir se: Baba din me kitne paise kama lete ho?
Faqir: 500 ya 600,aur agr ye maaf karne wale kamina pan na kare
to araam se 1000 ho jyee

Tom: sale! 1 laat marunga mumbai ja k girega!
John: mein marunga to america me girega!
Santa: bhai mujhe dhire se 1 LAAT maro..pas k gaon jana hai

father: Tumhari mmumy ne mera dil tod diya, isliye mai sharab p rha hu.
sonu:mummy ne meri pocket money b rok d, isliye mere liye b 1 glass lagao papa.

Customer-Ye bakra kitne ka hai
kasai:-Rs.500. Customer:- Itna sasta.
kasai:-China ka hai koi gurantee nahi hai, ho sakta hai kal bhokne lage

Ramesh: Meri Biwi Kahti H Ki Usne Mere Jaisa Koi Dusra Aadmi Nhi

Dekha?
Raman: Kya Wo Kabhi Chidiyaghar Nahi Gayi Kya?

Beta-
Me Bada Ho K
Air Force Me Jaunga
Maa-
Mujhe Kaise Pata Chalega
K Ye Mere Bete Ka Plane He?
Beta- Me Guzarte Waqt
Ghar Pe BOMB Fek Dunga

To Reduce Depression Of Students, Sir Showed Them 3 Idiots
Sir- What Did U Learn 4m D Movie?
Students- KISS Karte Waqt Naak Beech Me Nahi Aati

1st Behra:
Kya Tum Mumbai Ja Rahe Ho?
2nd Behra:
NaHi,
ME To Mumbai JaRaha Hu
1st Behra:
Accha,
ME Samjha Tum Mumbai JaRahe HO.!!

Teacher Itihas Rochak Hai,
Isme Atit Ki Jankari Milti Hai.
Student Mujhe Nahi Padhna,
Kyoki Isme Koi Future Nahi Hai.

Beta papa se kahta hai papa mai jab business karunga to achche achche ke hath me katora pakada dunga.
Papa: kaise?
Beta: Gol gappe bechkar...