Jokes | चुटकुले

Nurse-mubarak ho aap ke yaha beta hua he
kya naam socha hai iska
baap-chhedte hue
ap itni khubsurat ho ap batao
nurse-Kutte ka bacha rakh do

Judge: Tum pichhle ek hafte mein saat choriyan kar chuke ho!
Shyamu: Woh ji main bachpan se hi bada mehnati hu

Boy:Mai Tuje Bangla Dilauga,Car Dilauga,Gold K Dhair Laga Duga

Girl:Shaam Ko Park Aaoge

BOY: nahi,aaj CYCLE repairing ko di hai.

Premika Ke Der Se Aane Pe Premi Bola-Intzar Ki Ghadiya Bahut Lambi Hoti..
Premika-To darling Ek Kaam Karo Kisi Or Company Ki Ghadi Kharid Lo

Beta- “Pitaji, koi aaya hai|”
Pita- “Kaun?”
Beta- “Koi mooch waala hai|”
Pita- “Keh do, nahi chahiye|

Techar-Kisi Teen Indian Khano Ke Naam Batao
GOLU-Ji,Mai Batau
Techar-Ha,batao
GOLU-SAHRUKH KHAN,SALMAN KHAN,AAMIR KHAN

Geeta- “Seeta, meri ghadi kho gayi,
kya tumne kahi dekha hai?”
Seeta- “Nahi, chalti thi ya band thi?”
Geeta-”Chalti thi|”
Seeta- “Tab jaroor kahi chalkar gayi hogi

1 Gav me kisi Buzurg k Mar jane se Schol me Chutti ho Gyi
Schol se ate wqt 2 Bacho ne 2 Buzurg ko dekha to Ek bola-Dekh Do aur Chuti aa rahi hai

Grl in Burkha!!

Boy-Kaha ja rahi ho meri jaan!

Grl-Tere Ghar,

Boy-Main bhi aata Hu

Grl-Aaja beshram, Ammi ko bataungi Apni bahen ko Chedta hai

1 Ladka 1 Ladkise bola- Main teri julfo ki thandi chhav me rehna chahta hu.
Ladki-Abe pagal pichle janam me Juu tha kya?

2 ullu ped par ulte tange the
.
.
.
.
acchanak unme se 1 sidha khada ho jata hai
.
.
.
1st ullu - kya hua?
2nd ullu - kuch nahi chakkar aa gaye

1 Ladka 1 Ladkise bola- Main teri julfo ki thandi chhav me rehna chahta hu.
Ladki-Abe pagal pichle janam me Juu tha kya?

Admi bakriyan chara raha tha

Pathan:
ye bakriyan kahan ly ja rhy ho?


Admi:
Inhen school chorne ja rha hon


Pthan:
Mjy pagal smja ha?







Aj to itwar haI

Science Techr:
Agar kisi ladki ko Mirgi ka attack ho to usko lambe time tak kiss karo wo theek ho jayegi.
Student:- Par sir, usko ye attack dilaayen kaise?

TEACHER- Agar Duniya Ki Sari Aurton Ka Chehra 1 Jaisa Hota To Kya Hoga?

SANTA- Hona Kya Hai Sir?
Gas Cylinder Ki Tarah Aaj iske Ghar Kal Uske Ghar.

Munni:-Mere se achha koi nahi nachta.
Pranav Mukhrji:'Janeman tumne hamare SENSEX ko THUMKE Lagate nahi dekha. Ek Ek THUMKE pe HAZARO log Marte hai...

2 cockroach ICU mein ek dusre ke bagal mein Admit the...

Pehla cockroach (sympathy k saath):-
'Kya 'Baygon' se...?'

Dusra: 'Nahi re'
Paragon se...!

Madam boy se-
Kahan hai copy?
Kahan hai pen?
Boy-Jabse tumhe dekha kya copy kya pen???
Tere mast-mast 2 nain,,mere dil ka le gye chen gayab hai copy or kho gye pen!...

Santa:doctor ne kha tha k T.V cabel Se bache kharab hote hai aur parhai
B nhi krte,mene cabel katva diya
Batna: Good?
S: Ab humne dish TV laga liya

Santa- Insaan Ko Zindagi Mein Koi Bhi Problem Hoto Kiske Pas Jana Chahiye...?
Banta- Farmer...!
Santa- kyu..?
Banta - Uske Paas 'HAL' Hota Hai...

Chuhe k bacche khel rahe the tabhi 1 billi aayi,
1 chuha- Bhow Bhow

Billi chali gayi

Chuha apne friends ko bola Dekha Foreign Language sikhne ka Fayada!

Santa ko rota dekhkar friend ne pucha kya hua?
Santa: Bohat bada dhokha,
maine 2 ton ka AC kharida, ghar aakar tola to sirf 35 kilo ka nikla..

Santa-English me jhopdi ko kya kehte h?
Banta- Hut
Santa- English aati nahi to daant te Q ho

DaDaJI;Beta Muje Ye Naye Vikram Aur BeTaaL Ki FiLm DekHne Le Chal.
Pota:-Dadaji,Ye Vikram BeTaaL FiLm Nahi,
Amitab Or Abhishek Ki Paa FiLm He..

PAPPU:Madras ka naam Chennai kyon pada?

NIKKU:Madrasi kya pahante hain?

PAPPU:Lungi.

NIKKU:lungi me chain nahi hoti isliye Chen nai....!

Teacher:santa tense kitne prakar k hote h
Santa:3
T: very.gud. example batao
Santa:kal apki beti ko dekha. Aaj pyar krta hu. Kal bhaga k le Jaynga

Santa propose a girl..
Girl replied-
Thapad marungi...

Santa replied-
Thapad maregi toh mukka bhi khayagi.....

Tinku: Mera Kutta Tommy Kho Gaya Hai.
Mintu: To Tum Kisi Akhbar Me Vigyapan Kyo Nahi Dete.
Tinku: Usase Kya Hoga?
Tmmy Ko 2 Padhna Nahi Aata.

Ramu: Tumhe Pata Hai Smart Husband Jaisi Koi Chiz Nahi Hoti Hai
Golu: Tum Kaise Keh Sakte Ho?
Ramu: Smart Log Husband Hi Nhi Bante.

Pati- Aaj Khana Tumhari Maa Ne Banaya Hai Kya

Patni- Haa, Par Tumhe Kaise Pata Chala

Pati- Roz Khane Me Kale Baal Milte Hai, Aaj Safed Mile Hai

Grl:mat kr picha mera,1din pchtyga,bahr collage k tu samose ka thela lgyega
boy:tu mt thukra mere pyr ko,1din pchtygi usi thele pe brtan manjti tu b nazr aygi..

Ek Ladki Ne Ladke K Kandhe Pe Sar Rakhkar
Puchha- Ye Kandhe Pe Kab Tak Sar Rakhne Doge?



Best Reply Ever Given By Boy- Jab Tak Log Mujhe Kandha Nai Dete..