Jokes | चुटकुले

gir;mujhe kyoun dekh rahe ho?
tumari koi behan nahi he kya
boy;hai is liye to dekh raha hoon
girl; koun?
boy ; meri behan ko bhabi cahiye..........

Master-2 me se 2 gye to kitne rhe?

Golu-samjh me nhi aya.
Master-Beta tumare pas 2 Roti h,tumne do roti khali,tumare pas kya bacha?
Golu-sabj

Kirayedar- Malik rat me kamre me chuhe bahot nachate hai.
Malik-Arrey 500 rs kiraya dete ho, itne rupayo me kya SHAKIRA ko nachau fir?

Once a Parrot took his pregnant wife 2 operation room 4 delivery..
after n hour doctor comes out
Parrot : kya hua ?
.
Dr (laughingly) : Popat hua

Santa ne pressure cooker kharida;
dusre din wapis kiya;
S'keeper-
Q wapis kiya ?

Santa-
ghar me jawan betiyan he or ye sala sitiya bajata hai . .

Sante Ne 1 Makkhi Pakdi Or Pankh TodKar Bola: Ud Ja!
Makkhi Nahi Udi!
Santa- Isse PROVE Hua Ki Makkhi K Pankh Tod Do To Wo Behri Ho Jati Hai..

Snta-Yaar lag rha hai mujhe bird flue ho gya he.
Banta -Tuje kaise pata?
Snta-Yaar mera kal se udne ko man kar raha he..

GOLU:
Khudkushi pr Bol rha tha
Khudkushi
Hram hy
Zulm hy
Gunah hy
Buzdili hy
Pagalpun hy
Aisi haram mot marne se behtr he insan apne ap ko Goli mar dy.

BOSS-itne kam kapde pehan K Q Aai Ho?
Aadha Jism Dikh Raha Hai
Girl-Itni Salary Me Yahi Aata He
BOSS -Manager, Ishko 3 Month Tak Salary Mat Dena..

Santa ne chalenge kiya.....
'Ke wo kutubminar ko sar pe rakh k mumbai le jayega'




Saare news wale waha pahuch gye....

Tab bola 'Bas koi utha k sar pe rakh de'

Sharabi: Doctor,Aap meri sharaab chhudva sakte ho. Kya?
Doctor: Haa kyoun nahi.
Sharabi: To police ne meri 20 bottle pakri hai plz chudva do.. (-;

Saas: beti ab tum mujje apni maa or apne Sasur ko pita hi samjhna,
Tabhi darwaje par ghanti baji,
Bahu ne darwaja khola to pati aaye tha
Saas: Kon aaya hai beti,
Bahu: Maa bhaiya office se aaye hai.

Tony: Boss Maine Galati Nhi Kiya.
Fir B Aap Muje Saza Q De Rahe ho?
Ajit: Idiot,Zamana Pre-Paid Ka Hai
Pahle Saza Bhugato,Baad Me Galti karo..

Shadi me Santa bahot der tak kha Rha ta
Bnta-kab tak khaoge
Snta-Mai Khud kha- kha k dukhi hu
per kya karu card me likha tha Dinner 7 to 10 PM

Snta-Ladki ko prapose karne ki sabse safe jagah konsi he?
Bnta-Mandir
S-Mandir kyu?
B-Qki waha ladkiyo k pairo me CHAPPAL nai hoti.

Car me baithi 1 Lady ne, 1 bhikhari ko 1 rupya dekar,
Aasirvaad dene ko kaha!

Bhikhari: Car me to baithi ho, ab kya aasmaan me baithogi?

Santa to bill Gates:
Tusi bade pagal ho!

Gates: Why?

Santa: surname Gates rakha hai. Or business WINDOWS da
karde ho ji.?

Snta Mehmaan Se- Thnda Loge Ya Garam.?
Mehmaan-Dono Le Aao..
Snta-Preeto.. Ek GLass Freezer Se, Aur Ek GLass Geezer Se Pani Le Aao..

Ek Beggar nE Darwazay Per Dastak Di,
Admi Ne Andr Se Poch Kon?
Faqeer:ALlAh Ka Mehman.
Ye Sun Kr Wo Admi FaqeEr kA Hath Pakr Kr Masjid Le gYa,
or Bola Apko Galti Hui Hai.
ALLAH Ka Ghar yE HaI. .

dad-exam kaisa hua?
son-Q. no 1 chhut gaya. 3 ata nahi tha. 4 karna bhul gaya. 5 nazar nahi aaya.
dad-Q. no 2 ? son-bas wahi galat ho gaya.. (-;

son-papa mujhe circus dekhna hai chale?
papa-i m busy
son-papa waha 1 ladki chote kapde me sher ki sawari karti hai
papa-chalte hai bahut din ho gae sher dekhe

Ek Andha Police Me Bharti Hone Ke Liye Gaya.
Officer Ne Pucha 'Tumhe Hum Kis Liye Rakhe.?'
Andhe Ne Fauran Jawaab Diya 'Andha-Dhund Firing Ke Liye

Wife:Samne wale ghar me Miya Biwi k bich kuch fight chal rhi he. Aap 1bar jaiye na


Husbnd:Me 1 do bar gya tha.Shayad ye usi ka natija hai! ;)

Beta : 500 Rs Do na.

Papa : Kya Karega ?

Beta : Mere Sare Friends Ka A/C Hai,
Mai Bhi Khulwaunga.

Papa : Very Good. Kaha Pe ?

Beta : Cigrate Ki Dukan Par.

Boy-Mujhe Acchi Ladki Dila Do..!

GOD-Tu Muslim He To KATRINA..
Hindu He To BIPASHA..
Christain He To GENELIYA..
Bol...Tera Naam?

Boy-Abdul Rambhau Disouza!

Girl says:
Na dekh Hasino ko Azab Hoga,
Tu B ek din kisi Hasina ka Baap Hoga

Boy says:
Khuda kary teri zuban suchi ho
Muje Papa kehne wali teri hi bachi ho

Santa asks Dr-kya DUDH pine se rang gora hota he?
Dr-yes,isme calcium hota hai.. .
Santa-chal jhute..
Phir bhains ka baccha kala kyu hota hai...?..?

Sonu-Tune Uss Ladki K Liye Cigratte Chhodi
Monu-Ha

Sonu-Daru
Monu-Ha

Sönu-To Shadi Q Nahi Ki
Monu-Itna Sudhar Gaya Tha Ki
Uss Se B Achi Mil Gayi..

EK KHUBSURAT LADKI SANTA SE MARKET ME TAKRA GAYI
TO BOLI:Oh, I am sorry'..!
SANTA:HI, I am santa singh...
nice to meet
u MISS SORRY..!

Snta- Dr. mujhe aisa Lagta he ki mere kaan me koi gunguna raha he..

Dr- Tumhe aisa kab lagta he..?

Santa- Jab mai kaan me walkman sunta hu...

SNTA Radio Thik Karwane Gaya..
Mechanic Ne Dekh K Kaha-Ye Thik He Par MAUSAM Kharab H,
Isliye Nhi Chal Rha.!
SANTA-Le 100 Rs. MAUSAM Naya Daal De..

Teacher ne 1 cote bache se pucha tumhare papa ka nam kya hai ?
Child - abhi nam nhi rakha hai . Pyar se papa papa kehta hu.........