Jokes | चुटकुले

Doc or MBA mar jate h
Yamraj:
dr. ko 11 or MBA ko 9 saal NARAK ki saja
Doc:muje 2saal jada kyon
YAMRAJ:
ye MBA. Karke nark bhog chuka h

College me student Notice Board ko dekh kar Ro Q rahe the??


Guess..


Are Woha likha tha
EXAM Suru

Ladka: Kaha Ja rahi ho janeman..
LADKI: Besaram Tumhare Ghar Me Maa Behan Nahi He Kya?
LADKA: Pata Nahi Aaj Mai To Subah Hi Ghar Se Nikal Gaya

Girl-Aajtak Tumne Kiss Nhi Kiya,Kiss Karona
Santa-Nhi
Girl-Q Nahi?
Santa-Baoji ne Kaha He Aurato K Muh Nhi Lagana Chahiye..

Girl : Kya Aapne Meri Judwa Behan ko kahi dekha hai?

Santa : Nahi Abhi tak to nahi dekha,Ha!par wo kis ke jaisi dikhti hai?

Mum.Studnt:Exam thik tha
UP st:Exam badhiya tha
Delhi st:Exam ko mar goli,bagalwali ladki pat gayi..

Tumhe Biwi pasand hay Ya Sharaab
Santa: Sharab
Banta: Q?
Santa: Jab biwi marte hay to Shrab se kuch mahsus nhi hota

Amul ghee ki Ad. ke liye Rajpal Yadav ko sign karne gaye...

Rajpal:- isme to Sunny Deol ko lena chahiye

Director:- wo toh hain he ..!

Rajpal:- to mujhe kyun?

Director:- nakli ghee ka asar dikhane k liye!

Dukaandar:Aap Ye PEN Le Jaiye Khub Chalega


SANTA:Mujhe Chalnewala Nahi Likhnewala PEN chahiye.

Pati = Tere Baap ki Ungli karne ki aadat gayi nahi ? :@

Biwi = Kyu ,

ab kya hua ? :o

Pati = Aaj phir se pooch rahe the...

'Meri beti se shaadi karke khush ho na'

Agar 25 rupaya me PAAV BHAJI milta hai to 100 rupaya me kya milega..


?



Santa- Poori BHAJI..

Nirmal baba akhirkar dukhi hokar shiv ji k pas gaye

bole sare bhakt piche pade h,

shiv-beta kbhi jail gye ho.

Baba-nhi.

Shiv ji-jail hokar aao.

Kripa aani suru ho jayegi...

Judge: Tumse is Baar koi Narmi Nahi Barti jayegi, Chor: kuch to Reham karo mai Apka Pakka Grahak hu.

Operation k bad patient bola: 'doctor saheb Kya ab me ROG MUKT hu..?'
Samne se Jawab mila: 'Beta,doctor saheb to niche reh gye,
me to CHITRAGUPT hun

2 Ladkia Aapas Me Lad Rahi Thi

To Pas Me Se 1 sharabi Guzra.

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1st Girl: Ye shrabi Tera Bf

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2nd: Ni Tera BF

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1st: Tera

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2nd: Tera

.

.

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Sharabi: Mai Ruku Ya Jau?

Papu 2 Papa- Papa Ye Star Log Jab Mandir Ate hai Tab Kala CHashma Kyu Pehnte hai
Papa- Kahi Bhagwan Unhe pehchan k Autograph na Mangle..!!

Malik-Dekh Bahar suraj nikla ha q nahi
Srvnt-lekin,bhar to andhera hai
M-ja torch jala k dekh

ladkiwale-hame aisa ladka chaiye jo kuch khata pita nahi ho.
pandit-aisa ladka to ICU me milega

Teacher : Jis aadmi k dono haath na ho

usey Hindi aur English me kya kahenge.?

Santa: Hindi me THAKUR

aur

English me HANDS FREE.!

Santa:Roz mere sapne me 1 ladki scooter le k ati he,aaj nehi ayi.
Banta:Scoter Punchar ho gaya hoga

Sharma: Yaar mere Baal bhot Gir Rahe hain.
Varma: par kaise ?
Sharma: Tension Se.
Varma: kis baat ki Tension?
Sharma: Baal girne ki.

Teacher: Tum log roj 8 ghante soya karo.

SANTA : Impossible Sir! College sirf 6 ghante ke liye hota hai!

Chintu ne bled se grlfrnd ka naam apne haath parlikha
Aur
5 min baad jor jor se rone laga,
Uska dost: Q ro rha ho?
Chintu:Abey,purani wali ka likh dia..

Jailer: Faasi se pehle kisse miloge?
Santa: Biwi Se
Jailer: Maa-Baap se nahi
Santa: Maa-Baap to agla jnm lete hi mil jyenge
biwi ke liye sala phir 25 saal wait karna padega!! :d

Judge-Na Jane Kyu

Mujhe Tumhari Shakl Jani Pahchani Si Lag Rahi Hai!

Mujrim-Huzoor!

Main Reshma Bai Ke Kothe Me Tabla Bajata Hu.

Teacher: Tumhare Papa Kya Karte Hai?
Mintu: Wo Sabke Such-Dukh Bantate Hai.
Teacher: Kya Matlab!
Mintu: Wo Postman Hai.

4 boys on bike...
Police:- triple riding is
banned aur tum 4 baithe
ho??
Boys shocked...
.
.
.
look behind..
.
.
and says:- saalo 5wa kaha
gir gya...??

Ek shayar garibi se tang aakar daku ban gaya..

daketi karne bank gaya

or

kaha..

Arz kiya hai..

'taqdeer me jo hai wahi milega,

hands up..

koi apni jagah se nahi hilega...' .

phir cashier se kaha..

kuch khawab meri aankho se nikal do,

jo kuch bhi hai jaldi se is bag me dal do..

Aunty: Arrey beta tum kitne badey ho gaye ho.

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Beta: Haan aunty,

aur koi option hi nai tha

Boy to his gf : u knw what??

Aaj mene blackberry liya :))

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Gf : ohh woow

mere dad bhi aaj yellow mango layee the :))

badaa maza aaya khake :p

MORAL : Aur Phansao GOVT Colg ki Larkian

PM to Secretary- Jab se me PM Bana Hu

Meri Maa ko Hichki Bahut Aati Hai.

.

Secretary- Actualy Sir,

Petrol ke daam badhne se

Log Aapki Maa Ko Bahut Yaad Karte Hai.

santa to banta:
agr tumhe tabele me bhense gin ni ho to kaise ginoge???

banta:very simple,



unke singh ginke use 2 se divide kar dunga.