Jokes | चुटकुले

Ek aurat coma main chali
gai . . .
Pati murda samjh kr jalane
chala ....
Raste main arthi khambe se
takrane se aurat ko hosh agaya...
1 saal bad aurat sach main mar
gai . . .

Sab log RAM RAM SATYA hai
bolty ja rahe thy
. Lekin .

Pati ki zuban pe ek hi baat thi

KHAMBA BACHA ke.

Santa ko uski Girl Friend ne sms kiya....
'I Miss Your'

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Santa Ne Apna Khatarnaka Dimag Lagaya,
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.aur Do Ghantea Baad Reply Bheha.........'I Mr. You........

Accident k baad:

Driver- maine car ki headlight on kar k bataya tha ki

pahle mujhe nikalne do

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Santa- humne bhi to wiper chala kar bataya tha ki

'Na Kake Na'. .

Banta:aj party kis khusi me?
Santa:meri scooter kho gayi
Banta:to


Santa:shukar mano me us par nai baitha tha warna me b gum ho jata.

True love:

Baba :- beta tujh par chudail ka saya hai

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Ladka :- baba me thappad mar dena

agar

meri gf k bare me kuch kha to...

Snta-Ye Nya Mobile Kab Liya?

Bnta-Liya Nai..

Gf Ka Uthaya H

Snta-Q?

Bnta-Wo Roz Kahti K

Tum Mera Phon Nhi Uthate..

Aaj Mauka Dekh K Utha Liya

Ravan=Bhiksha de do

Lady=Ye lo

Ravan=Ha ha ha..
Main bhikshuk nahi Ravan hu.

Lady=Main bhi Sita nahi Rakhi sawant hu...

Teacher: Gaali kya hai?
Student: Krodh ke smay mukh se nikle ashudh shabdon ka samuh
Jinke uchcharan ke paschat Vyakti ke hriday Ko ShantiKa anubhv hota hai.

Doctor To Santa:

Aap ki Ek Kidney Fail Ho Gayi Hai..

Santa Pehle To Bohat Roya

Phir Aansu Ponchte Huwe
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Kitne Number Se ??

Mareez- Dr. Sahab Mein boht khush rehta hoon,

Neend sukoon se aati hai,

Zindagi main Aman hi Aman hai,

Har kaam main Dil b Lagta hai,
Koi pareshani hi nahi.

Aisa kiyon hai ?

Doctor: Mein aap ki Bimari samajh gaya hoon.
Aap ki zindagi may
Vitamin 'she'' ki kami hai...

santa; kal mittra ne kudiya de college di bus rok layi..
banta ; fer..?

santa.......fer ki apa kiha shabeel laggi aa pani pee k jaeo

Santa Zebra Crossing Ke Black & White Lines Par

Baar-Baar Idhar-Udhar Chal Raha Tha,

Aur

Soch Raha Tha Ki

Sala Ye Piano Bajta Kyo Nahi. =D =))

B0y- hey, i l0ve u,

meri gf ban0gi..?

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Grl- hmmmm!

Apna numbr de d0,

jab current bf se break-up h0ga

t0 miss call kr dungi...

Dedicated 2 0l Girls:
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'Apki kahani humari zubani'
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Apke pas dimag hai,
chalta ni alag bat hai.
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Ap smart hai,
k0i manta ni hai alag bat hai.
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Ap sareef hai,
lagta ni alag bat hai.
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Kaafi izzat hai apki,
k0i karta ni alag bat hai.

Santa jab bhi kapde dhota,

baarish ho jaati.

Ek din dhoop nikli.

Usne bhagwan ka shukrya kiya

aur

dukaan se surf lene gaya.

Tabhi achanak zor zor se badal garazne lage.

Santa fatafat aasman ki taraf muh kar ke bola

'kidhar..???

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mai­ to biscuit lene aaya hu.

madm children se poochti hai 'batao sabse zyada barish kaha par girti hai ' ek bacha thodi der sochne ke baad kehta hai 'mam zameen par'.

Girl: Chalo main chupti hu tum mujhe dhundna.
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Agar dhund liya to hum shoping chalenge.
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Boy: Agar nahi dhunda to?
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Girl: Aisa mat kaho na jaanu main darwaze ke piche hi chupungi

student[shoking]-miss jaldi police ko phone kro jaldi
miss[shoked]-par kyon kya hua????
student - vo meri pencil kho gai hai report likhwani hai

Boy: Tumhara Naam
Kya H?
Girl: Mina, Aur Tumhara?
Boy: Kamina
Girl: Jhut Mat Bolo
Boy: Tum 5mint Pass
Beth K Dakh Lo Tum Isi
Naam Se Bulaogi

WIFE(seeing stars)- Btao

wo konc Chiz h jo tum Roz Dekh Skte hopr Tod nhi skte?

HUSBAND- Mai nhi btaunga.

WIFE- Bolo na plz.

HUBY- Tera MUH.. xD

Ek dukhi pati apni patni se bola :

Kabhi kabhi mere dil mei khayal aata hai,

Ke zindagi teri zulfoon ki ghani chhaon me kat jaye.

Toh

'Home Loan' lene ki zarorat hi na pade....

Light jane k baad candle leke pappu toilet ja rahatha
kai kambakhat phook marke keh gaya
Happy birthday 2 u

Batao yaar Emergency ke wqt bhi mazak

Teacher : A. B. C sunao
Pappu :A . B . C

Teacher:Aur sunao

Pappu :Aur Allah ka shukar hai, sub theek thaak hai.
Aap sunao...???

1 admi ka mobile toilet me gir gya tbhi toilet devi prakat hui ar 1 golden color ka mobile usey deney lagi.
tab vo admi bola ki nhi mera mobile soney ka nhi tha
devi ; abey gadhey dho ley isey ye tera hi hai

Two girls are traveling in a train
Girl-1: Tujhe kaisa pati chahiye?
Girl-2: Mujhe Crorepati chaiiye.
Girl-1: Crorepati na miley to?
Girl-2: 50 lakh ke 2 pati chaleñge.
Girl-1: 50 lakh ke na miley to?
Girl-2: 25 lakh ke 4 pati bhi chaleñge
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UPPER birth pe soya hua
Pappu bola: JAB YE 1000 RUPAYE
PE AAYE
TO MUJHE UTHA DENA..!!!!!

Ek Ladki,

ek din Art Gallery dekhne Jati Hai

Aur

Ek Tasveer Dekhkar,

Gallery Ke Malik Se Kahti Hai:

Ladki : iss Bhayanak Tasveer Ko Aap Modern Art Kehte Ho !?

Maalik : Meri Maa

Tu Dimag Mat Laga,

Ghar Jaa,

Ye Aaina ( mirror ) Hai

Boy-Tum ladkiya inti sunder kyo hoti ho?
Girl-Kyonki GOD ne hume apne hath se banaya h.
Boy- Kamini bol to ese rahi h jese k humko net se download kiya h.

Teachar: Whats Full Form Of M.A.T.H.S....??

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Student: Meri Aatma Tujhe Hamesha Satayegi....

Beta- Papa, aap jaise mujhe marte ho, vaise dadaji bhi apko marte the kya?
Papa- Bilkul marte the
Beta- Toh yeh khandani gundagardi kab tak chalegi?

Pappu :- Janu ab tum change
ho gayi ho.

GF :- Wo kyun ?

Pappu :- Ab main tumhe KISS
karta hu to tum Eyes Close
Nahi Karti.

GF :- Haramkhor, Pichli Bar
Close ki thi to Mere Purse se
100 Rs. Gayab The.

Boy:'hey,

i love u,

meri gf banogi.. ??

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Grl:'hmmmm!

Apna numbr de do,

jab current bf se break-up hoga

to miss call kar dungi...

Lalia Majnu Ko Dhokha De Deti Hai.
Majnu : Tune Dil Jalake Mera Uske Raakh Kar Diya.
Lalia : Teri Ye Kurbani Bekar Nhi Jayegi
Ghar Bhaj Dena Raakh,
Bartan Saff Karne K Kam Aayaga.