Jokes | चुटकुले

Father-Raat ko tum pi k gutter mein gir gaye the,
Son-Kya bataon dad GALAT SANGAT ki wajah se hua,
Hum 4 dost,1 bottle aur woh teeno pite hi nahi the.

1 Larki ne aadhi raat ko Larke ko phone kiya:Ghar ajao ghar per koi nhi hay!
Larka chla gya..
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Ghar Waqai koi nhi tha TAALA lga huwa tha.

Ek Student Dusre Se:
Aaj Kuch Khatarnak Kaam Karne Ka Maan Kar Raha Hai

2nd Student:
To Phir Chal Kar Thori Pathai Karte Hein . . .

Pathan apni GF k sath Dte pr gya.Ahista se bola:
Mre dil me 1 bat hy mgr kehty hue gbrata hun
GF:bolo
Pthan:I realy realy Luv
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Ur Brothr

A criminal doesn't reveal secrets after 3rd degree.
Police: Ok,play Himesh's songs
Criminal screams: Batata hun,sab batata hun!!!

Pathan : yeh mera door ka bhai hai..
Man: door ka me samjha nahii
Pathan: es ke aur hamare darmiyan 13 behn bhai hein..

Jis gali se tum gujro,

Jis raah se gujro,

Kuch aisa kar gujro,

ki

har bar...

har gali se...

1 hi aavaz aaye-

'MARO SAALE KO, PHIR Aa GAYA'

lalu goes to a shop and ask...
'yeh bandarva ki photu kitne ka hai?'
shopkeeper: voh phutwa nahin sahib wo to seesa(mirror) hai

Dil ki dhadkan tej hai,
Saso me bekrari hai,
Dil ki dhadkan tej hai,
Saso me bekrari hai,
Aare! Jaldi check up kara lagta hai....Dame ki bimari hai

Mummy: Beta kyun ro rahe ho?
Beta: Papa ne mujhe kissi nahi di.
Mummy: Beta, aap ne papa ko tables nahi sunaye honge.
Beta: Kaam wali ko kaun se tables aate hein.

Teacher: Bachon kasam khao kabhi Sharab,Cigrte,Ladki inko nahi chuoge, aur desh ke liye jan doge! Bache: de denge sir, aisi jindgi jikar kya karenge.

Doctor Santa and Priest loved the same girl. Priest started giving an apple to the girl everyday. Doctor Santa asked: Why? Priest: Coz an apple a day keeps the doctor away!

Santa dialed a no..
A girl answer d phone..
Santa:Hello Kon?.
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Girl:Mai Sita...
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Santa:O! teri...
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Ye to Ayodhya lag gaya

Teacher:kG class ke bachhe se,
1 se 10 tak gino, me aapko KISS karungi…
BACCHA: 1 SE 100 tak ginu to kya package hai..

Santa sote waqt 2 glass rakhte hain.
Ek main paani aur ek Khaali.
Why socho
socho
aur socho
kyunki pyas lag bhi sakti hai aur nahi bhi.

Rawan ko court le jaya gaya, Judge- Apna haath Gita par rakho. Rawan- Sorry, Sita par hath rakh kar itna lafda hua, ab Gita par nhi rakhunga..

santa-wo Ladki behri lagti he.Me kuch kehta hu,wo kuch aur hi bolti hai banta:kaise? santa:Mene'I Luv U'kaha,to wo boli Mene kal hi Naye SANDAL kharide hai

Ek ladki ne ek ladke ko aawaz lagai….
O…Bhai Jaan..Please suneye toh zara….
Ladka bola - Oye…Pahle decide kar Bhai ya Jaan…
confuse kyu kar rahi hai…

Santa Beti ki shadi k liye 24saal ka ladka dekne gaya.Vaha se biwi ko fone kiya- oh gal sun!24 da koi munda ni milya.12-12 de 2 chalenge?

Teacher: ITTEFAQ ka koi jumla banao

Pathan: jis din mere baap ka shaadi tha ITTEFAQ se usi din meri maa ka bhi shaadi tha

Napolean:'In my dictionary there's no word called 'IMPOSSIBLE' Santa:'Abi bolne se kya faida,jab kharida tabi barabar dekhna chahie na.

Santa: Begum aj chicken bahot testy bana hai koi khas masala lagaya hai kya.?


Wife: Nahi murgi jal gai thi to maine BURNOL lagai thi..

Ek Chota Bacha Bohat Dair Se Ro Raha Tha.
Uski Maa Ne Pocha
Mele Laal Ko Ka Chahiye?
Tofee
Bishkit
Ya
Doodh..?

Bacha:
Bash Ek Nai GIRLFLEND
Khubsurat Shi :->

American child: hello mister
padri reply: u can call me father my child
bucha: acha to tm yaha ghom rahe ho aur mummy kehti he mujhe nhe pata tera baap kon hai

MeMoN: PeNt k' siLaYi KitNi Hy?

TaiLor: Rs. 150.

MeMoN: ChAddi kI?

TaiLor: Rs. 50.

MeMon: Ok. ChAddi Hi sEe dE pAr LaMbAyI pAirOn tAk rAkhNa.:

Define Girl friend:->
girl frnd wo hoti hai jo ldke ko tok-tok ker uski sari aadtein badal deti hai aur baad main kehti hai.
tum pehle jaise nahi rehe

Bush: Mere pain da char munda hua hy.
Musharraf: Mubarak huvay.
Bush: But ik masla hy.
Musharraf: o ki.
Bush: piu da pta nhe.
Musharraf: Koi gal nhe USAMA da pa diy

Ek press wala Laaloji se poonchta hain:

Aap ne apne ghar me 11 bachee kaise kiye?

To Lalooji bole:

Kyunki hum rubber se jyada rabdi ko use kiya hu na!

Pathan Received A Message From His Girl Friend,

“I MISS YOU”

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Soch Soch Kar Pathan Ne Reply Kiya,

“I MR. YOU”

Tu varan me bhaat,
Tu football me laath.
Tu tiger me lion,
Tu dadar me sion,
Tu kes me konda,
Tu dagad me dhonda,
lokanna kahihi pathva,
vachat bastat...!

commerce k student agar film banaye to filmo k naam honge-
kabhi cr-kabhi dr, main account ki deewani hun,hum tax de chuke sanam, hamra calculater apke pas hi

Ager tum kisi ghareeb ko
us ka haq nahi dila saktay to.
jo us k pass he wo b cheen lo.
Hazrat Allama Asif Ali Zardari