Jokes | चुटकुले

Tamam bewaqufon
ko ittala di jati hai…
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Aap to aise parh rahe hen
jaise ye ittala aap k liye ho.:p

GIRL- Main humara rishta khatam karna chahti hu. Main tumhe vo sab vapas de dungi, jo tumne muze diya.
BOY- OK. Let's Start with Kisses.

A foreign couple told 2 his wife
'am ur husband n u r my wife'
A village couple beside them wanted 2 repeat it n told 2 his wife 'am ur handpump n u r my pipe'

2 ladies baat kar rahi thi.
1st: Ye HUSBAND kya hota he?
2nd: Tu nahi janti?
Ye ek tarah ka BAND hota he, Jise ladies BELAN se bajaati he

santa bus se utarte hi mitti utha ke bola- ye mitti ki khushboo ki baat hi alag he.
banta- thik se dekh ye mitti nahi gobar he.....
lol

Maa:- Beti Badi hokar Kya Karogi?
Beti:- Kuch Nahi , Maa Banugi, Padhungi,Shadhi Karungi............Aur Kya?
Maa: Jo karna hai karo par serial me Karo.......

Santa: Maa
Gud news!
Hum 2 se 3 Ho Gaye Hai!
Maa: achha,
beta Hua ya beti?

Santa: nahi Maa,
teri bahu ne Dusri Shaadi karli !!

Lady: doctor mere lips pe infection ho gaya hai, doctor: kiss kitni baar karti ho? lady: saal me ek baar, doictor: infection nahi JUNg lag gaya hai

Ek admi Pandit se=
Pandit ji Aazadi or Mukti me kya Faraq hai?
Pandit ji-Agar biwi Maykay jaye to Aazadi
or Upar chali jaye to Mukti

Teacher- Soch or Veham me kya fark hai,.. Student- aap ki beti sundar hai ye hamari soch hai,or woh hamare hath se bach jayegi ye aapka veham hai.

Passengr 2 Bus-Conductor:Kitne Ghante Bus Me Rahete Ho?
Conductr-24 Ghante!
P-Wo Kaise?
Cond-'8 Ghante BUS Me Baki 16 Ghante BIWI KE BAS ME'

Santa : Soch Raha Hu Ki USA Ghum Aaun,

Kitna Paisa Lagega?

Banta : Kuch B Nahi

Santa : Kaise?

Banta : Sochne K Liye Paise Nahi Lagte

LARKI : JAN MUJE AISE PURPOSE KARO JAISE AAJ TK
KISI NE NA KIYA HO
LARKA : KAMINI, I LOVE YOU,MUJSE SHADI KAR KE
MUJHE TABAHKAR DE KAMBAKHAT

Santa- V Need A Bridge In Our Village.

Minister- How,There Is No River In Ur Village?

Santa ne Banta se pucha ke teri ab tak shadi kyo
nahi hui? Banta bade zor se chilla kar bola-

'JAAKO RAAKHE SAAIYA, MAAR SAKE NAA KOi'

Santa: Mujhe Shadi Me BMW Mili He.

Banta: Pr Tumhare Pass To Koi Car Nahi He!

Santa: Abye Ghadhe,
BMW Ka Matlab

Bahut Motti Wife

Boss: Santa tumhe pata nahi ki permission ke bina andar aana mana hE.

Santa :-Sir main permission lene hi to andar aaya hu

Question: Wife maike jakar Husband ko roj phone kyon karti hai?
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Answer: Taki Husband ko yad rahe musibat tali nahi hai.

Gal v/s boy-

Ladki-
Musibat ke waqt hamasha muskarate rahna chahiye

Ladka-
Is liya to mene tumhe dekh kar muskarata rehta hu.

Bhikhari: Hello Hotel Taj, one Pizza, one Biryani aur one Non Veg Dish Bhej Do.

Waiter: Kiske Naam pe bheju, Sir?

Bhikari: Bhagwan Ke Naam Pe.!

Girl : Meri Har Saans Pe Kai Ladke Marte Hain

Boy: Toh Tum Koi Acha Tooth Paste Istemal Kyu Nahi Karti

Desi Teacher: Itni pitai ke baad bhi tum hass rahe ho.

Desi Student: Gandhi Ji ne kaha hai, musibat ka time hass hass ke gujarna chahiye.

Doctor or daku me kya fark he
doctor ghar bula k luta he or
daku ghar aake lut ta he

Company ka Employee
Toilet gaya.
Andhar ja kar
seat pe betha.
Saamne Deewar pe likha thaa

“ABEY ITNA ZOR BUSINESS
PE DETA TOH TARGET PURA HO JAATA

Santa,banta dono bhai same class me they

Teacher-Tum dono ne father name alag kyu likha?

Brothers-Madam tusi Fir kahoge nakal maar li.

bhikari -kuch khane ko de do
ek aurat-baba abhi kuch nahi bana hi.
bhikari-theek hi mera no. le lo jab ban jaega to mujhe miss call kar dena

boy prpose to a girl - do you love me?
girl - shakal dekhi he apni isse to accha me sucid kar lungi.
boy - kamini mar jayegi per 1 garib ke kaam nahi aaygi.!

Ye batao ki aap mein aur pepsi mein kya samanta he?
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Both are cool, sab pasand karte he,
Most IMP- Dimag ki jagah dhakkan he

Bhoot Ne Tapasya Ki. God Khush Hoke Bole- Vardan Maang
Bhoot: Muze Khubsurat Ladkiyon Ka Khoon Chusna He.
God: Tathastu, Ja Whisper Ban ja.

Jyotishi- Aaj teri patni ko dhan-laabh hoga.
Aadmi- Aap sach kah rahe he, aaj main apna purse ghar pe bhool aaya hun.

Antar-Mantar
Jaadu-Jantar
Chhhoo.
Kuch Mahsoos Hua?
Nahi Na?
Jaadugar Ne Bhi Yahi Kaha Tha Ki
ye mantra sirf insaano pe asar karta he.

Murga- I love you.
Murgi- Hahaha, tum mere liye kya kar sakte ho?
Murga- Kuch bhi kar sakta hun.
Murgi- Ok. chalo ek anda dekar dikhao.!!