Jokes | चुटकुले

1st ladies- Bartan Dhone Ke Liye Kya Istemal Karti Ho?

2nd ladies- Bahut Si Chize Istemal Kar Chuki, Lekin Pati Se Achchha Koi Nah

Fattu : Oye Tu Ladki Dekh Aaya? Kaisi Hai?
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Pappu : Rang See Kali Hai Aur Kaan Se Kam Sunti Hai..
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Fattu : Zara English Me Kaho...
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Pappu : 'BLACK-BERRY' Hai

GOLU-Mera beta meri kahi har baat manta hai
MOLU- Are wah,Tumne ye kaise kar diya
GOLU-Maine use keh rakha hai jo ji me aaye karo

Teachar to Golu-Aisi chiz ka naam batao jo ek baar upar jati hai to Niche nahi aati

Bahut Sochne ke Baad
GOLU bola -Miss,Insaan ki umar.

Chor Aya

Tijori P Likha
Tha-Todne ki jarurt Ni,ButtonDabao Khul Jyegi
Button Dabate hi Police Aa Gyi
Chor-Aj Mera Insaniyt p se
vishwas uth Gya

GOLU-Doc. Mujhe aisa lagta hai jaise mere kaan me koi Gunguna Rahe Hai
Doc.-Aisa Kb Lagta Hai
GOLU-Jb mai kaan me headphone laga ke song sunta hu

Nurse-Udas kyu bethe he Sir ?

Darbar Doctor -
Dopahar ko jiska operation kiya tha who mar gaya !

Nurse- Sir woh operation nahi POSTMORTEM tha

Santa Apne Bete Se-Kya mai Tumhari padhne me help karu
Beta-Nai Dad,Mai Bina Apki Help ke hi fail hona Chahta Hu

Husband-kya hua itni pareshan kyu ho?
Wife-munne ne 1 rupya nigal liya hai,
hus-nigalne do aaj kal 1rs ka aata hi kya hai,

Batuni lady Ka chekup ksrne ke baad
Doc-koi taklif nah H,sirf aaram ki jarurat Hai
Lady-Lekin Meri zuban to dekhi hi nai
Doc-Use b Aaram ki jarurat Hai

girl- meri ek ek saans pe ek ek ladaka marta hai

boy-toh tum koi accha sa toothpaste kyu nahi use karti...

Boy to Girl-Jaanu,Coka-Cola Peene K Baad Kuch Karne Ko Dil Chah Raha Hai..

Girl-(Sharmate Huye) Karo na..
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BoY- Barrrrrrrah

GF: Where is my Birthday gift..
BF: you cav see that red hot ferrari on the otherside of road..
GF:(excitingly)-Yes
BF: Same color ki nailpolish li hee tere liye.

Father: beta tum history mein fail kyun ho gaye the?
Beta: papa , sabhi question us time ke the jab mein paida bhi nahi hua tha.

Two Lovers In Pak-Tower...
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Boy: Tm Itna Presshan Q Ho?
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Girl: Kuch Nhi.
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Boy: Sharma Rhi Ho Kya...?
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Girl: Nhi Woh Mein Ghalti Sy

'Letreen'

Ki Chappal Pehan Kr Agyi.. :->

Pappu-Yar Mai bohat preshan hu..
Dipu-Kyun Kya Huwa..?
Pappu-Yaar subah se hum ko koi battery low k number se miss call de raha hai

Santa asked his frend,'kya tumharay underwear mein suraakh hain?'Frend replied 'No'Santa said,'tou phir taangain kahan sey daalta hai saalay..

Air Hostess to Raaz in plane-Raaz Sahab Aap Kya Lenge?

Raaz-Mai Neeche Uter kar Rickshaw Loonga

Santa child - mere papa bahut darpok hain.

Banta child - how?

Santa child - jab bhi road cross karten hain, meri ungli pakar lete hain

RAAZ Cricket Khel Kar Aaya
FARAZ-Kitne Runs Banae
RAAZ-Century Hone Me 100 Runs Baqi The
Mai Out Ho Gya

- interview -

Question: To bataiye PANI ke bina insan kese marega?

Answer- Sir, PANI Nahi hoga to insaan tairega kaise? Tairega nai to doob jayega!! den dead...

GOLU-Tum to kaha Rahe The Ki Mai cement ki factory
Banauga to abhi tak banaya nai
MOLU-Kya karu Factory banay k liyae Cement hi
nahi mil raha

Santa was working 1st time in a Garment shop.
Girl-Jara Underwear dikhana.
Santa sharma ke-Ji Aaj nahi pehni!
Kal aana..

Patni Gusse Me- Aaj Ke Baad Mai
Tumse Baat Nahi Karungi
Pati- Kyu Tum Gungi Hone Wali Ho
Patni- Nahi,Tumhe Behra Karne Wali Hu

Aisi-ki- taisi kab hoti hai?
Kab lagta hai ki ab to bhagwan bhi nai bacha sakta
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Ans:-jab DAST lage our pajame ka naada na khule

Aankhon me Aansu, Chehre par hansi hai.

Sanso me aahen,
Dil me bebasi hai.

Pehle kyu nhi btaya

Darwaze me ungli phasi hai

Kanjus:
Aap kya Lenge,Thanda ya Garam ?
GOLU: Dono hi Mangwado
Kanjus: Sunti ho Do Glass Pani le Aana. Ek Freezer se aur Dusra Gezer se
Ha...Ha.

GOLU: Tere Ghar Se Ek Ladki Mujhe Khidki Ke Pichhe Se Rumal Se Ishara Karti Hai

MOLU- Wo Naukrani Hai Jo Khidki Ke Shishe Saaf Krti Hai...

GOLU ne naya Saloon khola.

1 Aadmi Shave karane aaya.

GOLU-Muchhe rakhni hai?

Man-Ha.

GOLU Muchchhe kaat ke-Lo ji rakh lo jaha rakhni hai

Teachar: Kya tum aisa kuch kar sakte ho jo koi aur nahin kar sakta?

GOLU: Sir, mai apni handwriting padh sakta hun

GIRL TO BOY :jab tum log girls ko
I LOVE YOU kehte ho
to un ka haath Kyu pakad lete ho
BOY: bas apni hifaazat ke liye
kahi thapar na mar de

Height of Emotional Atyachaar-

GF- Mai ro ro k tere liye jaan de dungi

BF-Ok ro le jitna rona hai par 1 buket bhar k rona
mujhe nahana hai