Jokes | चुटकुले

elephant to ant

elephant-kahan jaa rahi ho?








ant-dress silwane.

















elephant-kapda bache to mere liye bhi kuch silwalena

winter season me :
Golu-Are yaar nadi se bhaap kyu nikal raha hai..?
Molu-Lagta hai machchaliyan chai bana rahi hain

Plumber:- Sir pipe naya laga dia hai aur bill Rs.700/- ho gaya.
Engineer:- Are itna tu main engineer ho ke bhi nahin kamata :o
Plumber:- Main bhi nahi kamata tha jab engineer tha!!

Teacher: Tumhaare aur harish ka answer ek jaisa hai, woh kaise?
Student: Kyunki question ek hi tha na masterji, isliye.

Girl (romantically) to Rajnikanth: 1 chutki sindoor ki keemat tum kya jano?

Rajnikanth: 0.00078924576 Rs. per gram.
Don`t mess with Rajni!

BHIKHARI:MAAI,1 RUPIYA DE DE!!
3 DIN SE BHUKHA HU!
MAI: 1 RUPIYE KA TU KYA KAREGA?
BHIKHARI:WEIGHT KARVAUNGA,
DEKHNA HAI KITNA KAM HUA H

mom-sweety time kya hua?

sweety-mom clock kharab hai, torch do mobile mai dekh ke batati huin

Santa-Mujhe 4 baje jaga dena
Naukrani-lekin mujhe to time dekhna nahi ata.
Santa-Tum jaga dena,time mai khud dekh lunga..

baap bete ki galti pe-gadha
beta-papa tension not sab khete hai mai aap pe gaya huin

Dipu To Pappu-Tum Do Roti
Ek Sath Kyu Khate Ho..??

Pappu-Dr. Ne Mujhe Double
Roti Khane Ko Kaha He.

light chali gayi


beta-papa torch do na

baap-le,padega kya?

beta-no papa frnd ko sms bhejna hai
isliye torch maang raha huin

1 Aadmi daru k nashe me taxi me betha
bola chalo airport chalo
taxiwala: tum airport pe hi ho
Admi:yelo 50rs dubara inte taiz mat chalana

a black boy was crying and saying to his buffalo - y i m so black everyone teases me
buffalo - 'tu ne mera dood piya hai tu bilkul mere jesa hai

Tcher-Tum Desh k liya Kya Kya karte ho?
Santa-Pani ki Bachat karta hu
Hafte me sirf 1 bar nahata hu

OLU Gifted A Card To His Father On His BirthDay With Quote On It
.
.

'Phool To Bohat Hain Par Gulaab Jaisa Koi Nahi

.
.
Mere Baap to Bohat Hain Par Aap Jaisa Koi Nahi '...:)

Mumy ye schol kya hota H

Beta ye wo jagah he
jaha parent ko luta aur bacho ko pita jata he

Couple date pr tha mummy ne dekh liya.
Mummy ne call kiya--beta kaha ho??

Beta-paper dene aya hu.

Mummy-Zara dhyan se dena is paper ka result aya to jaan se mar dungi.

Pappu-Yha se Airport Kon si bus jaegi
Dipu-20#
Pappu-Agr 20# na mile to
Dipu-Phir 10..10# ki do pakad lena

Ek Larki Ghar Se Bhaag
Gayi . . . 3 Din Baad Wapis
Aai

Baap (Ghusse Se): Ab Kya Lene
Aai Ho ? ? ?

Larki: Patli Pin Wala Charger . . .;-):-*;-)

Snta ki girlfriend ne usko message kya
'I Miss U'
Bohat dair sochny k baad Santa ne jawab diya
'I Student U'

Bnta-Agar TmharA 1-Lakh ka Enam nikAl aaye to
kyA karoge
Snta-Main Pagal Ho jauga Aur wo 1-Lakh rupay apne Ilaj
par Lagauga

father-1 2 3 4aaaaaaaa 5 6eeeeee........
son-papa ur counting is wrong bcoz counting mai abcd nahi ati
father-beta mai counting nahi tumhari mummy ke punch count kar raha huin

1 Man To 2 Man: tumhaari wife kyu hamesha gussa rahti hai?
2 Man: maine galti se use bola tha ki 'tum gusse main bhi bahut khoob lagti ho'

Socho Agar Aap kisi Ldki ko kahe
'I LOVE U'
Or
Wo vo palat ke aapkO apna mobile Nmbr De deto Aap Is ko kya kahenge
.
.
.
.
.
'KHWAAB

1baar Snta paise jama krne Bank gya

Officr-Ye note fata h dusra do

Snta-Me apne A/c me jama kr rha hu,fata karu ya Nya Tuje kya matlab h bey?..

Dulhan Andhe Pati Se=Kash Tumhari Ankhe Hoti To Tum Mere Husn ko Dekh skte

Pati=Agr Tum Khubsurat Hoti To Kya Ankho wale Tumhe Mere Liye Chhod Dete.

santa:-yaar mera kutta kho gaya hai. Main kya karu?
Banta:abe tu paper me kyo nahi de deta ki tera kutta kho gaya.
Santa: chup kar sale mera kutta pada likha nahi hai.

wife:mujhe kahi mehangi jagah le kar chalo
husband:chalo petrol pump chalte hai

Baniye ki biwi beemar thi:

Light na hone ki wajah se baniye ne candle jaladi aur bola
Doctor ko bulane ja raha hu,agar tumhein aisa lage ki tum nahin
bachogi to pleasw yeh candle bujha dena.

GOLU ankhay band Kar k shishee k samne betha tha..
MOLU ne pocha khan bhai kia karrahe ho..??
GOLU bola yar hum dekhraha hai k hum sota hua kesa lagta hai..

Do andhay apas main baten kr rhe thay..
ek ne dusre se pucha tm ne Taj-e-India Dekha hai..?
dusre ne kaha han jub me london ki sair ko gaya tha tab daikha tha..

Girl:Kya kr rahe ho
Boy:Makhiya mar rha hu

G:Kitni mari
B:3male 2 female

G:Kese pata?

B:3 Beer bottle pe the aur 2 Phone se chipki thi.