Jokes | चुटकुले

ladkewale- aapki beti kya karti hai?
Ladkiwale- aaj hi tata docomo ka naya card liya hai. 60 paise me 100 sms karti hai

WIFE Night Me Pati Se- MERI TARAF FACE KAR K SO
JAO NA,
MUZE DARR LAG RAHA HAI...

HUSBAND- AACHA AUR MAI BHALE HE DAR KE MARE MAR
JAU..
;)

Reason xplained by a gal after Breakup:

Agar wo jaan b mang leta to hans ke de deti..

Par

Kambakht ne Facebook ka Password mang liya..

girl1- mujhe mere lover k sath bike pe jate mere papa ne dekh liya.

Girl2- acha fir kya hua?

Girl1- fir kya bus ke paise wapas mang liye..

Lady 2 Dr-Inki Bimari th!k karo,Ye raat me zor-zor se mera naam pukrte he

Dr-Aap to lucky ho

Lady-Ni,kal inki bv mayke se lautne wali he.

Snta-Muje Sanskrit Sikha do

Pndit-Q?

Snta-Devtao ki Bhasha h Swarg Me Kaam Aygi

P-Agr Narq Gya To?

Snta-Gaalio ka diploma Delhi Belly se kr lia h!

Girl: Meri skin bahut soft and sensitive hai ,aur rang bhi bahut gora hai. Main sone se pehle kya laga k soya karoon??
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Doctor:'KUNDI'

Santa ka ek Buddha padosi accident me mar gaya…Woh uske ghar gaya aur poocha “BODY AAGAYI KYA?”Tabhi body lekar ambulance AA gayi…Santa Bola “Ye Lo ! Uncle ki badi lambi umar hai !!”

Surgeon: I m sry. It seems my rubber glove is left inside u after operation. We'll hv to operate u again
Chikku: Salya Ro na
chak 20rs. Nava le li

Waiter: 10 RS ki tip meri insult hai
Yeda: To phir?

Waiter: 20 Rs to do!

Yeda: Nhi yaar mein tumhari double insult Nahi kar Sakta..

God Imran Hashmi se: Agle janam me kya banna pasand karoge?

Imran: Rawan.

God: Wo Kyu?

Imran: 1 munh se ki$$ kar kar k thak gaya hu. :D

SANTA:Meri BV Bahut Busy Rehti Hai
BANTA:Wo Kaise ?
SANTA:Monday to Friday
Ekta Kapoor K Serial Me.
aur
Sat-Sunday Meri Galti Nikalne Me.

traffic police notebook nikal k bola-'Naam?'

Ladka-'Trikulavattyya Thekkeparambli Swami'

Police (Notebook band karte hue)-'Aage se gadi jara dhire chalana!'

Boy-Tum Ldkiya Itni Khubsurat Q Hoti Ho?
Girl-Qki, God Ne Hmko Apne Hath Se Bnaya H
Boy-Bol To Aise Rahi H Jaise ki Hme To Mistri ko Diya Tha Theke Pe.

College ke peeche nadi mein principle doob raha tha
pappu ne dekha aur zor zor se chillate huwe bhaaga
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Kal chutti hai...
kal chutti hai...

Santa radio thik karwane gya.
Mechanic ne dekh k kha: Ye thik hai,Mausam kharab hai,Isliye nhi chal rha.
Santa: Le 100rs,Mausam nya daal de.

Train me Warning likhi thi
'Bina Ticket wale Yaatri Hoshiyaar.'

Santa : Waah! Aur Jo Ticket lekar Yaatra kar rahe hain Wo sab saale bewkuf hai..

Santa: Hamare Desh Ki Ausat Mrityu Dar Kya Hai?

Banta: Shatpratishat

Santa: Kaise?

Banta: Jo Paida Hota Hai,



Wo Mar Hi Jata Hai...

Santa 2 dad:car ki chabi do
College me function h,
Dd:Car?
S:10lakh ki car me junga rob pdega
D:Ye le 10rs 48 lakh ki bus me ja zyada rob Padega

Newly Married Couple-
Wife- Humari Shaadi Ko Purre 24 Ghante Ho Gaye Hai..

Husband- Aur Dekho Lagta Hai Jaise Kal Ki Hi Baat Ho.

Bv-Maine ap k B'day pr itni Mehngi Chiz kharidi h k ap dekhteHi khush ho jaoge
Pati-Shukra h Tuje mera khyal to aya Dikhao
Bv-Abi pehan k ati hu.

TCHER:Agar dunya ki saAri Aurton ka chehra 1 jesa hota to kya hota?

SANTA:Hona kya tha sir?

Gas Cylinder ki tarah aaj iske ghar kal uske ghar.:P

12 Saal K Ladke Ne 20 Saal Ki Ladki Ko Phool Dia

Ladki Ne KISS Dia

Wo Ghabra K Bhaga

Ladki Ne Pucha- Kya Hua

Ladka- Guldasta Le K Aa Raha Hu.

Couple Date Pr the
Baap ne dekh lia & cal kia-Beti,kaha ho?
Beti-Paper dene ayi hu
Baap-Zara dhyan se,Is papr ka result aya to jaan le lunga.

2 cockroach ICU Me ek dusre ke bagal me admit the..

1st- Kisne maara?

2nd- Arey koi ni, ek ladki mujhe dekh k itna chillayi ke heart attack aa gya.....

Pati: Tumhe Bhagvaan Ne Khubsurti Aur Bevkufi Sath Kyo Di? Patni: Taki Tum Shadi Ka Paigam Do Aur Mai Use Manzur Kar Lu

BANTA Ne HAJAMAT Ki Dukan Kholi..
Santa SHAVE Karane Aya.
Banta:- Muchh Rakhni Hai
SAnta-Ha
Banta(Mucch Kaat Ke)-Le Rakh Le, Jahan Rakhni Hai.

1st Boy:
Yaar main aisa kya karu k Teri Shaadi k baad me Teri Biwi ko Film Dikhane le jau aur Tujhe Bura b na lge.??

2nd Boy:
Meri Shadi Apni Behen se kra d..

Santa news paper padh raha tha.
Banta-koi nayi khabar he kya?
Santa-ye kya,U.P. ko 4 hisso me kar diya jayega.
Banta-jis ghar me aurat ki chalti he,yahi hota hai

PATNI: Sunte ho
padoswale Guptaji ki beti ko Maths mein 99 marks mile hain.
PATI: Are wah, phir 1 number kahan gaya?
PATNI: Woh humara beta laya hai!!

WIFE:jab aap chasma utarte ho to bahut handsome lagte ho
HUSBAND:jb mein chasma utarta hoon to tum bhi bhahut khoobsoorat lagti ho!

Raman Exhibition Dekh Raha Tha, Usne Ruk Kar Sanchalak Se Kaha: Kya Ise Modern Art Kehte Hai? Sanchalak: Ji Nahi, Ise Hum Aaina Kahte Hain.