Jokes | चुटकुले

Maa mein KBC se bol raha hun.Mere Pitaji ka naam kya hai
Maa:Sawal Kitne ka hai.
Banta:1000 Rupess ka.
Maa:Quit karde 1000 rupaye ke liye ghar mein talwarein nikal aayengi

KID-Papa agr aapko pata chale ki me First Divison pas hua to aapko kaisa lagega? PAPA-Mai to Khusi se Pagl ho jaunga.
KID-Bas isi Dar se me Fail ho gya!

1din Papu 4 bje uth gya
Ma-Papu mera putr, Papu mera sher,
padh likh k paisa kamaega dher.
Papu-Na main tera putr, na koi sher,
susu karn utha si, so jaunga fer

Black Dukandar Se Chota Bacha: Uncle Rang Gora Krny Wali Cream Hy..?

Dukandar: Han Hy..

Bcha: To Saale Lagata Q Nai.

Do Sharabi Sadak Pe Ja Rahe The Ki Achanak Unhe Aayna Mila
1st Sharabi-Ye Photo Kiski Hai
2nd-Abe Gadhe Itna B Nahi pata Ye Photo To Meri Hai

PerPos New Style
Boy to Girl- Mai aapse Frindship Karna Chahta Hu
Girl- Meri Sagai Ho Gyi He
Boy-Fir Bhen Ban k Apni Kisi Saheli Se Baat Kra De

GOLU-Humare Ghar Bhai aane Wala Hai
MOLU-Kese
GOLU-Jub last Time Mummy Hospital Me Admit Huyi
Thi to Behan Aayi Thi ab papa Admit Huye Hai

Tcher-Mai chahti hu ki tum jeewan me teji se aage badho
Raste ki rukavato ko kuchal do
GOLU-Sidhe Bola Na ap hme Train ka driver bnana
chahti ho

Amitabh Public Toilet Me Se Pura Bhig K Aaye,

Jaya:
Aap To Susu Krne Gye Thay?

Amitabh:
Jaise He Mai Ander Gya,
Koi Bola 'BIG B'
Aur Sab Meri Taraf Ghum Gye

Malkin-Tum safai Theek Tarah se Nai krti
Wo Kone me Lga jaala dekh Rahi hO?
Iska Zimedar kaun Hai?

Nokrani-Yaqeenan koi makdi hogi

Santa & Banta playin chess... Santa:chal yaar...ab band karte hain...... Banta:haan thik he...vaise bhi mera ek haati aur tera ek ghoda hi to bacha he!

Kanjus-Jao.
2 dukano se 3-3 kabab le k aao.

Servant-Janab..
6 ikhatte kyu nahi.

Kanjus-Nalaik Aadmi..!
Chatni 0r Piyaz Zyada mileygi

Santa hospital mein ek nurse se kehta hai i love u,tumne mera dil chura liya,Nurse Sharmakar:chal juthe dil ko to haath bhi nahi lagaya humne to kidney churayi hai.

CONSTABLE:SIR,KL RAT KEDIYO NE JAIL ME RAMAYN KI TI.
JAILR:TO ESME PARESAN HONE KI KYA BAT HE?
CONS:SR,HNUMAN BNA KAIDI ABI TK SANJIVNI LEKAR WAPAS NAHI AYA.

Santa - Bachpan me maa ki baat suni hoti to aaj ye din na dekhna padta. JUDGE - Kya kehti thi maa? Santa - Jab baat hi nahi suni toh kaise bataun kya kehti thi.

st beggar: arey, tum kyu us cinema poster ko aise gur rahe ho?
2nd beggar: main hee is cinema ka producer hoo

Doctor 2 Injured Patient:
Jab Car Ek Lady Chala Rahi
Thi To Tumko Road Se Door
Chalna Chahye Tha!!

Patient:
Konsi Road?
Main To KHAIT ME LOTA LE K
BETHA THA

Santa-GOD 1 kudi chahiye
God-Tu Muslim h to
KATRINA KAIF
dunga
Banya h to
YANA GUPTA
Pnjabi h to
KAREENA KAPUR
Bol tera nam kya h
Santa
MOHD SANTA SINGH AGGRWAL

Papa bete se- Tum shadi kab kroge?
Beta = Mein to shadi Dipawali pr kruga?
Papa = wo kyo?
Beta = kya pata dipawali offer m 1 k sath 1 free mil jaye....

Father: Math Main Kyon Fail ho Gaye?

Son: Teacher kehti hain k 3+5=8

Aglay Din Kehti Hain k 4+4=8

Phir Kehti Hain k 6+2=8

Unko Khud he Confirm Nahi to Mujhe kya paas Karengi…!

Shadi Main Ladki Ko Itna Kyon Sajaya Jata Hai?


Any Guess?

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OK

I'll Tell You...

'MAAL' Jaisa Bhi Ho.
Packing Achi Honi Chahiye. :-)

Baap Apne Betay Se: Nalaik Parhle Kabhi Tu Ne Apni Koi Book Khol K B Dekhi Hai??

Beta:Haan Abbu Roz Kholta Ho Aik Book…

Baap:Konsi???

Beta: “FACEBOOK”

Checkup ke bad doctor-Tumhe khaste waqt sabse jayada taklif kab hoti hai

Marij-jab pados ka kutta meri khasi ka jawab dene lagta hai

G: Kon Ho Tm
B: Hasrat Tmhari
G: Dekhte Ho Kya
B: Surat Tmhari
G: Chahte Ho Kya
B: Mohabbat Tmhari
G: Pachtaoge bhot
B: Qismat Hmari
G: Married Hu Me
B: To Pehle hi Bhonk deti MANHOOS NAARI

Dentist to GOLU Apka
daant nikalna padega
GOLU-paise lagenge?
Dentist 200
GOLU- ye lo 50 rupye
thoda sa DHEELA kr do
nikaal me khud lunga

1 Party me sab log ulti kar rahe the..

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Banta: Sab ko kya Hua?

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Santa: Maine Ulti ki thi,
In Logo ko Bura Laga, To Maine Wapas Pee lee

Boy: Mere sath chalogi
Girl: Kidhar

B:Aap jidhar bole udhar

G: Thik h,shopping chalte he

B: Kasam se 'DIDI' apse mazak karna bhi Gunha hai

MOLU Tum Bahaduri Wala Kon Sa Kaam Kar Sakte Ho
GOLU: Mai Saanp Se Khel Sakta Hu
MOLU: Kaise

GOLU:

Mere Mobile Main Saanp Wala Game Jo Hai.

Girl:Tum mere liye kya kya kr skte ho?
Boy:Bolo kya kru.
Girl:mere liye chand la skte ho ?
Boy: fir kya prithvi k charo taraf tera baap ghumega.

GOLU diary likh raha tha 'Aaj meri behan ko bacha hone wala he
Pata ni ladka hoga ya ladki Isliye muje ye B nai Pata k me mama banunga ya mami..

GOLU Gadhe p baith k College jata tha
FINAL YEAR Me Vo FAIL HO GYA OR PHIR paidal College jane lga
Q

Qki Gadhe ki graduation Complete ho gyi thi

Malkin:Tu 3 Din Kam Pe Q Ni Ayi
Kamwali:Maine FaceBook P Status Update Kr Diya Tha
K Mai Gao Ja Rahi Hu Sahab Ne Comment B Kiya
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