Jokes | चुटकुले

Sonu- Abe Dekh Mere Daant..

Kaise..

Heere Ki Tarah Chamak Rahe Hai..

Monu- To Mere Kaun Se Kam Hai.

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Ek Dum.

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Sone Ki Tarah Peele Hai..

yamraj hijde se bole-lao tumhara hisab.
dunia me kya krke aaye ho?
hijda-aaye haye harami, abe de ke kya bheja tha jo hisab mang rhe ho.

Bandar ka vayapari ek admi se bola-aapne bandaro ke trak ko yahan se jate huye dekha hai kya..

Admi-aap usme se gire hai kya..

Delivry K Waqt
Lady-God Ladka
Man-God Ladki
God-Shut Up,Dont Confuse Me
Varna Aisa Confuse ITEM Bana Dunga K Tum Dono Roage Or Wo Tali Bajayega

Teacher- Aap Ka Beta Fail Ho Gaya hai aur Aap Laddu Khila Rahe ho!

Netaji-50 Ki Class Me 40 Fail Hai..
Majority To mere bete Ke Sath Hai Na

Pagal1: maine tuje phone karna tha, pr tera mob.no. bhool gyapagal2: pagal muje msg kr k puch leta.Pagal1: sorry yaar dimag me nai aya ye toh,,,;??

Ek bacha doosre se: Aaj kuch khatarnak kaam karne ka mann kar raha hai. Doosra bacha: To phir chal. Thodi padhayi hi kar lete hain..

Pati- Jab Maine ache kapde Pehn k Bazar Jata hu to Sabziwala sabzi mengi deta hai
Jab Gande Kapde pehn k jata hu to sasti
BV- Kal se Katora le k jana

GOLU Doso Ke Sath Shadi Me Khana Khane Gaya
ENTER Hue To 'SALAD' Dekh Ke Bahar Aa Gya
Bahar Aake Bola-
Oye! Abhi To Sabji Hi Nahi Bani Hai Yaar

Santa ko 500 or 50 Note Chaapne ka tender Mila.

Kanjoos Santa Ne kagaz bachane k liye Ek Taraf 500
or Dusri traf 50 ka Note Chhap Diye.

Pathan Ne M.A mai 1st Position Li:

Teacher ne pocha: Ab Agay Kya Karne Ka Irada Hai?

Pathan:

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Bachpan Se Shoq Tha
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CHOWKIDARI Karon.

Santa:- Yaar ye Auratein Sharab Se Nafrat Q karti hai
Banta:- Q k sharab Pine k bhad

Chuhe Jaisa Pati b Sher Ban jata hai.

Rikshewala: Bus Stop k 20 rs.
Santa: Saman b sath me hai.
Riskhewala:- Saman Free hai.
Santa:- Okay saman le chal maine padal aata hu.

Santa Hotel me Khali Katroi me Roti dubo k kaha rha tha
Waiter- Ye kaise khana kaha rhe ho?
Santa- Maine math ka teacher hu daal suppose kari hui ha

god askd man'whats ur wish? Man ' god please give me my bacheler days bach; 'god laughed n said; 'beta MANNAT mangne ko kaha tha JANNAT nahi

1 Aadami Kabar pe Baitha tha
Musafir ne Pucha Darr Nahi Lagata?
aadmi-darne ki kya baat hai?
andar Garmi lag rahi to thodi der bhar aa gaya.

Santa- Apne Bal ko to Dekho,
Jaise Ghas Ugi Ho.
Banta- Tabhi toh Main Soch Raha Tha
Ki Mere Pas Ye Jaanwar Kyo Khada Hai.?

Santa ne 1 raah Chalti ajnabi Ladki se kaha-Aapne pehchana Mujh ko?

Ladki-nahi

Santa-mai whi hu jisko Aapne parso bi nhi Pehchana Tha...!!

Maa-Tumhe wo bangali ladka kiss kr raha tha To Tumne Use Mana Kyu nai kiya
Ladki -mai use mana kaise karti
Mujhe to bangali bolni hi nai aati

Santa 500 k note pr likha nmbr Dial kr rha thaBanta-ye tum kya kr rahe ho?yar me dekh raha hu gandhiji to chale gaye par unka mobile kiske pas hai

Bv-Tumhe Nai lagta ki zara si samjhdari se lakho talak ke mamle Roke ja sakte hai
Pati- Zara si samjhdari se shaadiya bhi to roki ja sakti hai

BV:'utho ji almari k paas 1chor khada h.
'Hus:'us k paas hathiyar hua to?'
BV:Oh ho ghabrao mat apka to insurance h or zewaraat ka nhi.'

Ek Saanp Dusre Saanp Se-Are yaar lagta mera zahar kaam nahi kar raha
2nd - Kaise
1st-Abhi Abhi maine khud ko kaata lekin kuch huwa hi nahi

GOLU Papa muje Nokrani se pyar he Mai usse shadi kruga Baap Nokarani ko rani banane ka na socho GOLU Kyu Baap Yhi galti mei ne b ke thi beta

Mehman khana khate hue bole:-
Ye tumhara kutta mujhe bahut der se ghoor raha hai??

Chootu-Tum jaldi se kha lo,
Wo apni plate pehchan gaya h.

Doctor ne khasi ke mariz ko dast lagne ki dawa di

Compounder: Aapne usko dast ki dawa kyon di?

Doctor: Ab wo khaasne se pahle 100 baar sochega

SANTA BAR BAR ZEBRA CROSSING PE IDHAR UDHAR CHAL RAHA THA......
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WO KYA SOCH RAHA HOGA....
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.THINK?
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SAALA YE PAINO BAJTA KYON NAHI HAI....

Yamraj (Gusse me) Yamdut se: Mene Tuje Kaha Tha Ki 'Ja.. Pan lekar aa.'
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Aur tu Gadha,
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'Japan' lekar Aa Gaya..

Tchr: Itne din se kahan the?

Boy: Bird flu ho gya tha.

Tchr: Par ye to birds me hota hai.

Boy(Gusse me) Insan hi kaha rehne dia apne,Roj to murga bna dete ho !

Bola dukandar, k kya chahiye tumhe
Jo b kho meri dukaan p wo paoge
maine kha k kutte k khane ka cake hai
bola yahi khaaoge ya leke jaoge..??

Techar:Galti hone pe maafi magne wale ko kya kehte hai
GOLU:samajdar
Techar: aur galti na hone pe bhi mafi magne waale ko?

GOLU: boyfriend

Sonu:Mummy Kya Mai Bandaron Ke Khaandan Ka Hu?
Mummy:Pata Nahi Beta.
Mai Tumhare Papa Ke Poorvajo Se Kabhi Nahi Mili.